神仙娛樂圈

神仙娛樂圈

Victor Clarke

673.0k Words / Completed
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Introduction

求職無門的三無宅男蔣旭意外得到一個插座,誰知這個插座竟能連接天庭。
於是,蔣旭手握天庭插座,開啟了他降妖除魔、勾搭神仙的傳奇人生!
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About Author

Victor Clarke

Chapter 1

夜深人靜,帝都六環開外的北郊。

此時正值盛夏,雖然現在已經是晚上十二點,但白天的餘熱還未散去,空氣中仍然吹拂著溫熱的風。

大街小巷,到處都是空調運行的嗡鳴聲。

黑漆漆的胡同裡,偶爾有幾隻老鼠竄出來。

也許是天氣炎熱,就連牠們的行動也變得十分懶散、緩慢。

作為外來人口最密集的北郊,這裡的公寓樓密密麻麻,每一個房間裡面,都有一個想要在帝都混出一片天地的夢想者。

在這片樓區的最末端,有一個只有三層樓高的破敗公寓樓。

這個公寓樓十分的偏僻,而且周圍到處都是垃圾堆,附近也沒有其他建築物挨著。

它就這樣孤零零矗立在那兒,遠遠望去十分的詭異。

交通不便、治安較差、環境惡劣…種種因素讓這棟公寓樓的房租低得出奇。

這也是蔣旭選擇住在這裡的原因。

作為一個剛剛大學畢業不久、到處投簡歷找工作的單身狗,這裡的條件對他來說,再合適不過了。

此時的蔣旭正坐在電腦前,雙手在鍵盤上噼里啪啦敲著,他在搜尋著附近合適的工作。

髒亂的單人床、堆得滿滿的垃圾桶、皺皺巴巴的衛生紙…

空氣中瀰漫著一股單身漢特有的味道。

桌上擺著幾桶吃剩下的泡麵,蔣旭有些餓了,他隨便抓起一桶,咕咚咕咚喝了幾口湯,然後抹了把嘴,繼續瀏覽信息。

他住的這間屋子不到二十平米,唯一的好處是有獨立衛生間,不用大半夜的跑出去解決排泄問題。

正當蔣旭聚精會神盯著螢幕的時候,他忽然聽到腳下的插排發出一陣滋滋的聲音。

下一秒,空氣中飄來一陣焦糊味兒。

「嘭!」

螢幕一暗,整個屋子瞬間陷入黑暗之中,頭頂的空調也跟著停止了工作。

蔣旭摸索著拿起手機,打開手電筒,他看到插排正朝外冒著袅袅青煙。

「媽的!又爆了一個插排!該死的房子!」蔣旭暗罵。

由於這棟公寓樓電壓不穩定,蔣旭搬到這裡不到一個月的時間,光是插排就壞了四個。

坑爹的是空調的電源線太短,根本插不到房間裡面唯一的插座上。

帝都的夏天如果沒有空調,那可是一件非常恐怖的事情。

看了一眼手機上的時間,蔣旭一陣無奈。

都快凌晨一點了,去哪兒弄插排呢?

去隔壁借?

大半夜的敲別人家的門,不太好。

出去買?

這個時間應該沒有超市營業了。

當蔣旭糾結該怎麼辦的功夫,屋子開始變得悶熱起來。

很快,他身上的背心就變得濕漉漉的,豆大的汗珠順著臉朝下流。

不開空調的房子,就跟桑拿房一樣。

蔣旭擦了擦汗,實在忍不住,他拿起鑰匙和錢包,推開門下了樓。

……

公寓樓外面的溫度,比屋子裡更加的熱。

蔣旭拖拉著人字拖,繞過幾個垃圾堆,朝著前面密集的樓區走著。

雖然現在已經快凌晨一點了,但還有一些小飯店在營業。

不少賣炸串和烤冷面的攤販,正推著車準備收工。

蔣旭從他們中間穿行而過,他不斷地打量左右兩邊的門店,抱著僥倖的心理希望這時候能有一家超市還開著門。

十幾分鐘過後,蔣旭垂頭喪氣地轉身朝回走。

既然買不到插排,他決定去附近的網吧湊合一宿,不為別的,只為蹭一夜空調。

結果蔣旭到了網吧之後,發現裡面人滿為患,所有的位置座無虛席。

一連換了三個網吧,裡面的情況都一樣,根本沒有空位,這讓蔣旭十分鬱悶。

所以說,人一倒霉,喝涼水都塞牙。

蔣旭站在網吧門口,擦了擦臉上的汗,只能無奈地朝家走。

「簡歷石沉大海…想吹個空調插排爆炸…連上個網都沒有位置,我上輩子到底做什麼孽了我!」

想起最近的悲催事兒,蔣旭心裡就憋屈得要命,他抬腿狠狠將面前的一個空礦泉水瓶子踢飛。

「砰!」

水瓶子飛起來,在地上彈了幾下,緩緩滾到了一個亮著燈的門店前停了下來。

蔣旭無意之間抬頭看了一眼門店的招牌,整個人瞬間活了過來。

五金商店!

自己住的公寓樓旁邊竟然開了一家五金商店。

可他記得剛才經過的時候,並沒看到有這麼一家店。

管他呢,趁著人家還沒下班,先進去倒騰個插排再說。

「叮鈴…」

蔣旭推開門,頭頂的風鈴響成一片,他看到收銀台的位置,坐著個身穿白背心的肥胖中年大叔。

胖子低著頭,百無聊賴地玩手機,根本沒注意蔣旭走了進來。

「老闆,咱這兒有插排嗎?」蔣旭急不可耐地問。

胖子頭也不抬地伸手朝右一指。

蔣旭走到右邊的貨架,他一眼就看到整個貨架就只剩下一個插排了。

看來老天爺還是眷顧哥們的!

蔣旭抓著最後一個插排,激動不已地來到收銀台前結帳。

「多少錢?」

胖子抬起頭看了一眼蔣旭手裡的插排,饒有興致地笑道:「哥們,這可是天庭插排。」

蔣旭愣了下,尷尬道:「啊,怎麼了?」

「你想明白了再買,別怪我事先沒告訴你哈。」胖子眯著眼睛道。

蔣旭心中一陣好笑。

「放心,壞了我不來找你,只要這插排能堅持過今晚就好。」

胖子無奈地聳了聳肩,肚子上的肉直顫:「好吧,50塊錢,微信還是現金?」

「現金。」

付過了錢,蔣旭拿著插排離開了五金商店。

他沒想到一個雜牌子插排竟然賣這麼貴。

不過幸運的是,這深更半夜的能買到插排解決空調的問題,蔣旭也不去計較那麼多。

……

回到家,蔣旭強忍著那令人窒息的熱氣,迅速將插線板接通電源,然後把空調的插座插到上面。

「嘀…」

源源不斷的涼氣從空調裡面吹出來,屋子裡的溫度瞬間降低了許多。

蔣旭閉著眼,一臉享受地坐在床上,心裡的焦躁早已無影無蹤。

舒服,太舒服了。

默默地吹了幾分鐘空調,蔣旭總算是緩了過來,他起身將電腦的電源線插在新買的插線板上,準備再投幾份簡歷。

按下開機按鈕,電腦螢幕亮了起來。

「嗡嗡…」

當初上大學時,蔣旭特意買了台式機,這都是為了打遊戲和平時上網用起來方便。

點開找工作的網頁、登入個人帳號、搜尋附近的工作…

可當蔣旭看到電腦螢幕上的內容時,他的眉頭慢慢皺了起來。

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