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Kieran Brooks
Chapter 1
내 이름은 임양, 올해 24살이고, 고향은 시골이다. 183센티미터의 큰 키에 외모도 꽤 잘생겼지만, 여자친구는 구하지 못하고 있다.
원래는 행복한 가정이 있었지만, 한 번의 교통사고로 아버지가 돌아가시고 어머니는 재혼해서, 난 갑자기 부모 없는 아이가 되었다. 그때 내 나이 겨우 여섯 살이었다.
다행히도 할아버지가 계셨다.
할아버지는 나를 정말 잘 대해주셨고, 힘든 내색 없이 헌신적으로 나를 키워주셨다.
할아버지가 계속 그렇게 고생하시는 걸 보고 싶지 않아서, 난 한 번이 아니라 여러 번 말씀드렸다. "저 학교 안 다니고 돈 벌러 갈래요."
그때 할아버지는 간곡하게 나를 설득하셨는데, 그 말씀은 지금도 선명하게 기억한다.
"양양아, 학교를 안 다니면 어떻게 하니, 요즘은 과학기술이 이렇게 발달했는데, 지식이 없으면 아무것도 할 수 없어. 할아버지가 무능해서 네 대학 등록금은 대줄 수 없지만, 그래도 전문학교라도 다니면서 기술 하나라도 배워야지."
할아버지의 설득과 고집 덕분에, 난 전문학교에서 2년을 보내고 사회에 발을 내디뎠다.
일을 시작한 지 얼마 되지 않아 할아버지가 병석에 누우셨는데, 난 할아버지 병원비를 낼 돈이 없었다.
할아버지 치료비를 마련하기 위해, 조금이라도 인연이 있는 친척들에게 전부 돈을 빌려보려 했지만, 현실은 냉혹했다. 단 한 푼도 빌리지 못했다.
결국, 할아버지는 돌아가셨다.
임종 직전에도 내 혼사를 걱정하시며, 정 안 되면 데릴사위라도 들어가라고 당부하셨다.
나는 너무 슬퍼서 많이 울었다. 할아버지 병은 분명히 치료할 수 있었는데, 돈이 없어서... 내 무능함이 너무 원망스러웠다!
눈 깜짝할 사이에 항성에서 일한 지 6년이 지났다.
그동안 호텔 서빙도 하고, 택배 배달도 하고, 엑스트라도 해봤다. 온갖 잡다한 일은 거의 다 해봤다.
결국엔 집도 없고, 차도 없고, 저축도 없이 아무것도 이루지 못했다. 때로는 월세조차 내지 못할 정도였다.
내 인생이 가장 궁핍할 때, 한 여자를 만났다.
그녀의 이름은 한빙이었고, 연예인처럼 아름다웠다. 그녀 앞에서 나는 항상 열등감을 느꼈다.
그녀를 알게 된 과정은 정말 드라마틱했다.
그때 나는 작은 바에서 서빙을 하고 있었다.
어느 날 밤, 마침 손님들을 배웅하고 있는데, 하얀 BMW 한 대가 다가오는 걸 봤다.
나는 재빨리 맞이하러 가서 예약이 있는지 물었고, 그녀는 없다고 하더니 더 이상 말을 하지 않았다. 얼굴엔 약간의 수심이 어려 있었다.
바 안으로 들어와서는 멍하니 말했다. "어두운 구석자리 좀 찾아줘요."
난 그녀의 요구대로 자리를 찾아주었다.
그녀는 칵테일을 여러 잔 주문했고, 나에게 100위안의 팁을 주었다.
그날 밤, 한빙은 만취 상태가 되었다.
새벽 2시가 넘어 바가 문을 닫을 시간이 되었는데, 그녀는 테이블에서 곯아떨어졌다. 어쩔 수 없이 매니저에게 알렸다.
매니저가 그녀에게 한참을 물어본 후에야 그녀가 어디 사는지 알게 되었다.
당시 그 자리에 있던 사람 중 나만 운전할 줄 알았고, 지배인도 없어서 내가 차로 그녀를 집에 데려다주게 되었다.
매니저가 한빙의 가방에서 차 열쇠를 찾아 내게 건네주며, 반드시 그녀를 안전하게 집까지 데려다주라고 당부했다.
나는 열쇠를 바지 주머니에 넣고 매니저에게 임무를 꼭 완수하겠다고 약속했다.
한빙은 나보다 머리 하나 정도 작아서, 내가 부축하면 쉬울 것 같았다.
하지만 그녀는 너무 많은 술을 마셔서 온몸이 내 품에 축 늘어져 있었고, 머리는 내 가슴에 기대어 있었으며, 두 팔은 힘없이 축 늘어져 있었다.
그녀가 바닥에 넘어질까 봐 걱정되어 허리를 꽉 잡았는데, 이 자세가 너무 친밀해서 얼핏 보면 서로 껴안고 있는 연인 같았다.
이건 내가 여자와 처음으로 접촉한 순간이었고, 그 순간 특별한 감정이 들었다.
후각과 촉각의 이중 자극 아래, 내 혈액은 순간적으로 들썩이기 시작했고, 통제할 수 없이 빠르게 흐르기 시작했다. 나는 무례하게도 그녀의 몸을 꽉 껴안았다.
걸어가면서 흔들릴 때마다 그녀가 갑자기 바닥에 주저앉아 토할까 봐 정말 걱정됐다. 그렇게 되면 내가 그녀의 구토물을 처리해야 할 테니까.
고개를 숙여 그녀의 붉게 물든 얼굴을 보니 꿀꺽 침을 삼켰다. 여자를 접해본 적이 없었는데, 하물며 이렇게 가까이서는 더더욱.
이런 생각이 점점 강해졌다: 그녀는 지금 술에 완전히 취해서 기억도 못할 텐데, 무슨 일이 일어나도 모를 거야. 이런 미인은 정말 천재일우의 기회인데.
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About Author
Kieran Brooks
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