Introduction
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About Author
Eldrin Blackthorn
Chapter 1
生活就像一座從入口處不斷坍塌的迷宮,我們別無選擇,只能前進,卻又處處選擇,需要從無數岔路口中找到一條通往繁花似錦之地的捷徑。有的人成功了,有的人走進了死胡同,有的人……厭倦了選擇,義無反顧地回身躺在那片剛剛成型的廢墟上。
我叫盧西,剛剛在兩個大岔路上做出讓我痛不欲生的選擇,一個是被動的,另一個也還是被動的。
明明是岔路,明明知道哪一條是康莊大道,可老天卻偏偏在那條路口立個牌子——正在施工,請繞行!
牌子是如此的神聖不可侵犯,通體散發著權力的煌煌氣息,讓我只能灰溜溜踏上另一條路,悲憤難忍,欲哭無淚,一邊承受著大雨泥濘,一邊凝望著隔壁的陽光燦爛。
「這就是命!」坐在我對面,羅素用筷子撬開一瓶啤酒遞給我,順便為我一天的經歷定了性:「再說了,不就是丟了工作又被甩了嗎,多大個事兒,韓溪那樣的女人,她喜歡有錢人就讓她去嘛,在這個700萬人口的城市裡,你一名牌野雞大學畢業生,還怕填不飽肚子找不到姑娘?」
伸手指著大排檔裡坐在我們四周的人群,羅素口水四濺,一臉的語重心長:「你看看,就我們方圓十米之內,多少年輕貌美如花似玉的妹子?如果在一棵歪脖樹上吊死,才是你最錯誤的選擇!」
他瞥了一眼,指著左邊不遠處一個姑娘道:「看見沒,坐在男人堆裡穿著吊帶小短裙那個,膚白腰細腿夠長,再看她抽煙的架勢,聽沒聽過一句話,女人抽煙的熟練度跟在床上的經驗是成正比的,這妞兒,兩個字,好泡……就是胸小了點兒,不過一到床上,能把你玩兒死。」
頓了頓他又看向前面一桌一個穿連衣裙的:「這個這個,大排檔裡喝唯怡,那氣質一看就是正經姑娘,看到衣服沒,Prada,包包,路易威登,睡了她少奮鬥十年。」
「她對面那個也不錯,長得疵了點,可大啊,真大!」
說著話,這小子雙眼放光,屁股跟坐在火山上一樣,看樣子已經忍不住要出手勾搭了。
我無精打采地灌了口酒,使勁吐了口氣,似乎這樣能讓體內的鬱結情緒釋放出來:「你他媽是來陪我借酒消愁的,還是來讓我看你現場表演的?」
「靠,我這不正安慰你嗎,借酒消愁有個毛線用,你現在恢復單身了,我要讓你知道單身人士是多麼的幸福,兄弟,聽哥一句勸,以後藥箱裡只需要準備匯仁腎寶就好了,甩了你的那個女人,趕緊忘掉。」
「滾你的蛋,是老子被甩的嗎?你搞清楚狀況沒有!」我情緒一時激動,將酒瓶狠狠砸在桌子上。
羅素撇撇嘴:「綠了和被甩有區別嗎?你跟我較哪門子真兒。」
我瞬間蔫了,是啊,分手是我開的口,可全都是因為她的不忠,是她讓我三年累積起來對愛情的信仰化為灰燼,煙消雲散!
三年的感情,抵不上陌生人的金錢攻勢,曖昧短信!
我沉浸在惱怒與痛苦糾纏出來的不可調和的情緒之中,再無力聽羅素跟我說任何話,只是機械地倒酒,喝酒,一箱啤酒很快就被我喝完。
我努力地想要用酒精塞滿自己的身體,去擠走那些不斷往腦袋裡堆砌的過往,可直到沉醉,才發現這一切都是徒勞無功!
而羅素這個混蛋卻已經在我喝酒的過程中約好了兩個姑娘,去度過一個不知羞恥的夜晚。
拒絕了他假惺惺邀我一同前往的「好意」,我獨自攔了輛車回家,可走到小區樓底下,抬頭看一眼十五樓那黑漆漆的陽台,我突然膽怯了。
如果是以前,不管多晚,陽台的那盞燈一定是亮著的,那盞燈會告訴我,她在等我回家。
可現在,等我回家的人走了,只留下整個房間美好與不堪的回憶,等待著折磨我本已疲憊的靈魂!
再也無法抑制,我坐在小區門口外的草地上,痛哭流涕,我知道這很丟人,可誰他媽在乎?!
感情的世界裡,難道不是從來都不缺傻子嗎?
劇烈的情緒波動讓本來就喝醉的我越來越恍惚,我終於還是深陷在可恥的孤獨中,無法自拔!
直到一隻手從後面拍了拍我的肩膀,我聽到一個好聽的聲音在問:「你怎麼了?」
晕眩中,我將這個聲音與腦海中的面容合為一體,一把抓住肩膀上的手,澀聲道:「韓溪?」
記憶中的每一次醉酒,都是她無微不至地照顧我,從未丟棄過我,我一直堅信著,她就是我體內那顆浪蕩的心永遠的港灣。
那隻手努力掙開,讓我心中忽然一痛,回到了現實,對啊,她現在應該正躺在那個有錢男人的床上,怎麼會出現在這裡?抬起頭,我看到一張與她完全無法重合的臉。
這張臉上此刻寫滿了羞怒與冷漠,一張堪稱完美的素顏,卻只讓我感到無比的失望。
我訕訕地揮揮手,還有些口齒不清:「對不起,喝多了,認錯人了。」
也許是我此刻的狼狽讓這個漂亮女人產生了一絲憐憫,她的表情緩和許多,卻依然冷漠:「不管你身上發生了什麼事,大半夜的,你這樣實在是太吵了。」
我使勁捏著眉心,好讓自己清醒一些,轉頭向四周看了看,滿不在乎道:「我又沒在誰家門口吵,再說了,這個點兒,戴紅臂章的居委會大媽都下班了,誰還能罰我款嗎?」
「你……」漂亮女人被我噎得說不出話,有些厭煩地瞪著我,卻不知如何反擊了。
也是,看她的氣質和身上穿著的衣服就能猜到,這是個有錢人,這樣的人,在鬥嘴吵架上往往處於先天劣勢。
看著她的樣子,我突然生出些小得意,不管是什麼樣的理由讓這個女人大半夜跑到我面前,然後站在道德制高點上指責我,能夠讓她吃癟,我都有種惡趣味得到滿足的成功感。
也可能是我真的害怕了一個人的孤獨,不想回歸到先前的情緒中。
漂亮女人出乎我意料的沒有因為受挫而離開,依然瞪著我,這讓我不禁懷疑她是不是在措辭回擊,不由得更加鄙夷,吵個架都需要考慮這麼久,當這是畢業答辯嗎?
「你很無聊?」過了半晌,見她還沒有離開的打算,我開口問道。
漂亮女人愣了一下,旋即冷冷道:「你什麼意思?」
「應該我問你什麼意思才對吧?大半夜的,你不在家睡覺跑我這來圍觀醉鬼,不是無聊是什麼?」
「我……」漂亮女人顯得有些猶豫和心虛,輕輕嘆了口氣,語氣平和下來:「我只是想請你安靜一些,或者如果你真的需要發洩,能另外選一個地方嗎?」
「你見過醉鬼發酒瘋還要專門選址嗎?」我又一次看了看四周,然後指著離我最近的一座房子道:「這個花園洋房是現在離我最近的地方,如果你住在那裡的話,那我承認我吵到你了,向你道歉。」
「我就住在那裡,201,離你最近的那扇窗戶裡面就是我的臥室。」
「證據。」哪有這麼巧的事情,搞得好像我專門選在這個地方就為了吵她。
漂亮女人皺起了眉頭,面色不悅:「我只是想請你離這裡遠一些,你有必要跟我耍無賴嗎?」
「我還覺得是你心情不好專門跑來跟我吵架發洩哩。」
「你……不可理喻!」漂亮女人終於出離憤怒,留下一个痛恨的眼神,轉身離去。
見她要走,我突然慌了,今晚我真的無法獨自回到那個房子裡去面對過往,更不想在這裡承受徹夜的孤獨,純粹下意識的,我伸手抓住了她的手臂。
「不許走!」
她的身子歪了歪,轉頭面無表情地看著我,語氣平靜卻不容置疑:「你放手。」
我咧嘴笑了笑:「雖然你剛剛的行為真的很不友好,但我作為一個男人,總得表現出一些風度對吧,我決定原諒你了。」
她冷笑起來:「這麼說,勸你不要擾民還成我的過錯了?」低頭看了一眼我仍舊拉著她的手,又道:「這就是你的風度?」
「你那哪兒是勸,語氣太惡劣了,再說我都喝多了,你跟我講理我也聽不明白啊。」我把所有過錯都推給了喝酒。
「我倒覺得你還不夠醉,跟我吵架條理清晰的很呢。」她漠然道,看來是真的生氣了。
「好吧,作為一個男人,不管是什麼原因,我先跟你道歉總可以了吧,對不起。」
「我接受了,你放手吧。」
我沒有放手,努力直起身子,強忍住天晕地眩的難受感,很誠懇地說道:「我們聊聊天吧。」
「我們沒什麼好聊的。」嘴上說接受道歉,她顯然還在生氣。
「怎麼會呢,每一個人的經歷都是由無數的故事組成的,如果彼此交換,我們一晚上也聊不完。」我晃了晃她的手臂:「看你這樣子,反正回去也是睡不著的,就聊聊吧。」
不知我哪句話說動了她,漂亮女人猶豫了許久,但最終還是點了點頭,然後在我旁邊的長椅上坐了下來。
也許是好奇我一個大男人在小區裡發酒瘋痛哭的經歷?我已經可以想象,明天我得多後悔了。
兩個人心平氣和地坐下,我反倒不知道如何開口了,場面一時陷入尷尬,加上剛才說了那麼多話,我感覺胃裡越來越難受,但我還是不想回去。
「失戀了?」在我的沉默中,漂亮女人先開口了,語氣終於不再那麼冷漠,其實她不光長得漂亮,聲音也好聽。
「嗯,被愛了三年的女人背叛了。」我點了點頭,語氣居然出奇的平靜。
「哦。」她應了一聲,便沒了下文。
我一時有些發堵,酒精的麻醉讓我現在有種強烈的傾訴欲望,而一個漂亮的陌生人,我覺得是一个很不錯的傾訴對象。
可她居然就打算用一聲哦結束對話了。
我生氣地看著她,見她只穿了一條很短的睡裙,雖然披了件外套,還是難掩內裡春光,不由冷笑道:「你穿成這樣就出來跟一個醉鬼吵架,就不怕我酒壯怂人膽,把你給欺負了?」
她瞥了我一眼,卻沒有生氣,臉上滿是不屑:「酒也只能壯壯你的怂膽,就你現在的樣子,我就算脫了衣服站在你面前,你也無能為力吧。」
我被她的無能為力刺激到,努力從地上爬起來,向她走去,我要用實際行動告訴她,我是不是無能為力,可才邁出一步,晕眩的感覺就變得無比強烈,再也忍不住,我一頭栽倒在草坪上。
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About Author
Eldrin Blackthorn
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