Chapter 19: Disgust
While the government might subsidize a household's water, electricity, gas, and coal, childcare fees were still a significant expense.
Moreover, Parson was extremely picky about food. He insisted on having fresh ingredients for all three meals a day. To meet his demands and save money simultaneously, she would wake up before dawn every day and rush to the morning market, where the vegetables were fresh and cheaper.
Sometimes, after an entire day of exhausting work, she wouldn’t even have a moment to catch her breath before dragging her weary body to the bakery after 8 p.m., to buy discounted bread that hadn’t been sold during the day. She would save it for breakfast the next morning.
Once she brought it home, she carefully repackaged the bread, making it look more presentable, to prevent Parson from finding out. After all, he was a very proud man. In his mind, buying discounted food was simply out of the question.
But Parson never gave her enough money to cover their living expenses. Sometimes, she had no idea how to manage the household budget for an entire month in a way that would satisfy him.
She felt like she was walking on a tightrope—one misstep, and she would face his scolding.
Parson's fleeting good mood from Judy’s earlier coaxing was now completely gone. He angrily flung his suit jacket onto the sofa, creating a loud “thud.”
“Iron my suit. I’m skipping dinner. You bought it, you eat it yourself! Eat, eat, eat! All you do is eat! You’re already as fat as a pig.”
After venting his frustration, he stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door shut, leaving Anne frozen. Tears welled up in her eyes and finally spilled over.
At noon, Anne received a message from her sister, Daphne, saying she couldn’t pick up the children. So, in the afternoon, she skipped her nap, rushed to the market, and carefully selected vegetables and meat, balancing cost and freshness.
By the time she got home, she had no time to rest or drink water. She immediately dived into the kitchen, prepared soup, and then hurried out again to pick up their two children.
One was two years old, and the other was not even five—both at an age when they were full of energy. On the way home, she had to carry their heavy school bags while making sure they didn’t run off, her body aching from exhaustion.
Back home, she hadn’t paused for a second before throwing herself into cooking, hoping, deep in her heart, that she might receive even the slightest sign of appreciation from her husband—a compliment, a smile, or even just a nod. Any of these would have been a great comfort to her.
But instead, all she got was his harsh scolding. She instinctively wiped her greasy hands on her apron at a loss for words. Even the stains on the fabric told a tale of her struggles and helplessness.
She knew that if her husband refused to give her more money, they still had to survive another seven or eight days. Their meals would inevitably have to be simpler, and when that happened, Parson would surely be displeased again, picking another fight.
She didn’t dare imagine that scene—it filled her with dread.
Anne hadn’t always been this way.
As a child, she and her sister had lost both parents. With sheer determination and courage, she had taken her little sister from their rural hometown to the city to carve out a future for themselves. They had endured countless hardships, proving that she was far from weak.
But young Parson had been too good at sweet-talking. His honeyed words and affectionate gestures had been like an impenetrable net, completely trapping Anne.
Now, she regretted it. If she had continued working instead of giving up her job, if she had her income, would she be in this situation today, enduring such mistreatment from a man?
She swallowed her grievances, not for Parson’s sake, but for their two young children. She didn’t want them to suffer. She wanted to give them a complete family.
She had thought that once they started school and had access to a school bus, she could apply for community assistance, perhaps even find a volunteer to help tutor them with homework. Then, she could finally have some breathing room and return to work, slowly changing her situation.
But now, she wasn’t sure if Parson would even wait until then. Recently, their fights had become more frequent, each argument cutting into her heart like a knife.
Anne sighed in frustration, gently pushing open the door to her children’s room. She moved cautiously, afraid to wake them.
Seeing her, the children, who had looked a bit fearful earlier, immediately smiled. Their innocent grins were like warm sunlight piercing through a bleak winter day, melting away the gloom in her heart.
A warmth filled her chest. Then, she suddenly remembered—Daphne had only said she couldn’t pick up the kids, but she hadn’t mentioned whether she would be coming home for dinner.
Anne quickly checked her phone and saw a message from her sister, saying she was going on a vacation with her boyfriend.
Anne slumped into a chair in disappointment.
“Have I completely lost myself in this marriage?” she thought.
She had stopped caring about herself, had no financial independence, no plans for her future—and she didn’t even know what was happening in her sister’s life. She hadn’t even realized Daphne had a boyfriend.
A wave of guilt washed over her. She felt like a failure of an older sister.
The following day, Parson left the house early, just as usual. He didn’t even glance at Anne, as if she didn’t exist.
Anne hesitated for a long time, thinking of calling Daphne. But then she imagined her sister enjoying a romantic trip with her boyfriend. Would calling now ruin her happiness?
After dropping the children off at school, she stood in the bustling market, surrounded by people and colorful food stalls, yet feeling utterly lost.
She thought about how her husband had told her the night before that his parents and sister were coming for dinner—and that he wanted caviar.
She looked down at the mere $300 in her wallet, pressing her fingers to her temples in frustration. They might not have enough money left for the next meal if she bought caviar.
Parson was a man who never changed his mind once he made a decision. In truth, he was ruthless. He wouldn't give a single cent more if he said he wouldn’t give her more money. Anne couldn’t take that risk.
After circling the market twice, she carefully planned every meal for the coming days. Ultimately, she could only afford some tomatoes, cabbage, and potatoes. She even had to settle to buy just half a portion of meat.
Hurriedly finishing her grocery shopping, she rushed home to cook.
As expected, the house was already full of people when she arrived. Her in-laws, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, and her sister-in-law’s twin sons were all there.
The adults sat in front of the TV, cracking sunflower seeds and munching on peanuts, scattering shells all over the floor. The children were jumping up and down on the mattresses in the bedrooms, sending feathers flying everywhere.
The whole house was a chaotic mess, just like a marketplace.