Chapter 12 Everything I Never Wanted
Jaxon
I felt Adeline’s eyes wander as we approached the pack house, a twinkle of amazement developed in her eyes.
I had spent so much time and energy working on renovating the pack house with my own two hands.
I found the work to be therapeutic; although Beverly had laughed and stated that it was an Omega's job to get their hands dirty, not those of an Alpha’s.
Truthfully, her opinion meant nothing to me.
I knew we were different, opposites even.
We liked different food, we enjoyed different hobbies, our wolves ran at different times, evidentially we would even rule differently one day soon, but she was strong enough to lead the pack with me and at that time - it felt like the only factor that mattered.
Now, I find myself questioning if spending my life with a mate that I had no meaningful connection with was worth it.
Heck, I didn’t even think it was possible that I had a mate.
I may as well lead alone, strong with an iron fist, as I had up to this point.
I felt the chatter of the wolves crowd behind us, as we passed through the pack house.
I wanted to reprehend them for the blatant disrespect right at that moment, but I was fearful of scaring off Adeline further.
As we passed the marble staircase leading to the pack rooms upstairs, I gave a quaint nod to my cook who understood what I meant.
I found the guest room that was closest to my bedroom and turned the door knob, slowly cracking the door open for Adeline.
She had been avoiding speaking to me since I walked her out of that cell, her answers to my questions were being answered as a “yes” or “no”.
I told her to get comfortable and that a suitable change of clothes would be arriving shortly, along with something to eat.
“No”, she answered, rubbing her eyes in small circles.
I noticed how adorable she was when she did that, I wondered if that was one of her personal quirks.
“Adeline, you have to try to eat.I won’t let you pass out on me from a lack of food”, I debated with her.
“Come on Addie, I bet you're dying for a warm bath”, attempting to change the subject.
That stone cold face turned into a smirk, “I can shower myself Alpha, thank you for your hospitality”, as she stared at the door as a cue that it was time for me to excuse myself and leave.
She was so snippy that I felt myself getting turned on by my mate’s aggression.
“Listen, after everything tonight, I’m really sorry and I know an apology doesn’t cut it for what happened to you in those cages. I should have been there for you and defended you but I wasn’t and I’m not sure my wolf or I will be able to forgive ourselves, at least not right now”, I stared directly into her eyes, “The truth is Adeline, I’m confused about so much right now.You walked into my life and turned it upside down.I care about you, I need you to know that”.
I stepped forward towards her and rubbed small circles along her back.
I could see water start to form in her eyes, as she fought hard to keep tears from flowing down her porcelain face.
They twinkled for a moment and I noticed how hard she was fighting her wolf, “Alpha Jaxon, tonight was a mistake.
You have a mate already, chosen or fated.
You gave her your word and if you really are a man of honour, that word should be honoured”.
I felt my wolf getting anxious at her words, I calmed him down and reminded him that our mate didn’t know who we were to her yet.
Patience.
I wanted her to find out for herself, I wanted her to feel those feelings and allow them to develop naturally, not by force.
“I’ve told you already – she is not my mate yet”, I extended my arm and wrapped it around her waist, pulling her into my chest.
I loved how her height was perfectly made just for me, I stared down at her enchanting blue eyes and said “nothing about tonight was a mistake, it was perfect. It was perfect just like you are".
Just then the most beautiful pink blush took over her face, I could stare at her like this for all of eternity.
I took a moment and took in all her features, her plump lips and her striking blue eyes were my favourite.
I could feel her melting into my body as I nudged my face into her neck and took a whiff of her scent that made my wolf go wild.
She inhaled hard, placed two hands on my chest and using all her strength, pushed me away hard.
“What do you want from me? Yes, it was all a mistake Alpha.As a result, I was abused like I was cattle.I was abused by those abominations you call guards. They wrapped a belt around my neck like some sort of leash.Let me guess – I’m supposed to just get over it and submit to you now as some sort of payment? That’s really fucked up”, I could hear her choking on each word that rolled off her plump lips.
“Adeline – none of this was your fault, it was mine. I should know better than to get involved with one of my wolves, but I couldn’t help myself with you.You’re special to me”, I pleaded to her.
“I’m so special that now I’m being held captive, right? I just want to go home and you’re not even letting me do that.Don’t give me your bullshit on how it’s late and not safe, you and I both know that’s a flat out lie. For fucks sakes, it’s almost my BIRTHDAY and I’ve been enslaved to a cage and now to a pack house under my Alpha’s watchful eye”, she rolled her eyes and I felt her anger rising inch by inch, I just wanted to grab her close and calm her down.
I wanted to tell her that I was her mate and I would spend my entire life making it up to her.
I felt regret pang through my chest over and over.