Chapter 5: Feeling of Rejection
"That'll be thirty-seven fifty, please."
Laura's voice sounded mechanical as she held out her hand for the customer's credit card. The middle-aged woman with curly gray hair smiled pleasantly and handed over her card, completely unaware that the young cashier scanning her groceries was barely holding herself together.
Laura slid the card through the machine with practiced efficiency, her movements automatic after months of doing this same job. The familiar beep of the scanner, the whir of the receipt printer, the soft ding when a transaction was complete… normally these sounds were comforting in their predictability. Today, they felt like torture.
"Thank you, have a wonderful day," Laura said, forcing a smile as she handed back the card along with the receipt.
"You too, dear," the woman replied warmly, gathering her bags and heading toward the exit of the small grocery store.
Laura watched her go, then slumped against her register. The afternoon sun streamed through the large windows of Riverside Mall, casting long shadows across the polished floors. Shoppers wandered past the store entrance, some stopping to peer at the produce display, others hurrying by with their arms full of purchases from other stores.
This had been her life for the past eight months… scanning barcodes, counting change, restocking shelves, and pretending to care about customer satisfaction surveys. It wasn't glamorous work, but it paid the bills and helped her save money for something better. Or at least, it had until this morning.
Now she wasn't sure what she was saving for anymore.
"Laura, honey, what's wrong with you today?"
Laura looked up to see Maryann approaching from the produce section, her arms full of empty cardboard boxes. Maryann was in her early forties, with kind brown eyes and graying hair that she always kept pulled back in a messy bun. She'd been working at the store for over ten years and had taken Laura under her wing from the first day, treating her more like a daughter than a coworker.
"Nothing's wrong," Laura said automatically, straightening up and trying to look busy by reorganizing the receipt paper beside her register.
"Don't give me that." Maryann dumped the boxes into a nearby cart and walked over to lean against the counter. "You've been moping around here all afternoon like someone died. And you keep sighing every thirty seconds."
Laura hadn't realized she'd been sighing, but now that Maryann mentioned it, she could feel another one building in her chest. She pressed her lips together, trying to hold it back.
"Come on," Maryann pressed gently. "What's eating you? Didn't you have that big interview yesterday? At that fancy corporate place downtown?"
The mention of the interview made Laura's stomach clench all over again. She could still see Leonard's cold eyes, could still hear the venom in his voice as he'd called her pathetic. The memory of being cornered in that hallway, of his threats and ultimatums, made her feel sick.
"The interview didn't go well," Laura said quietly, focusing on the register screen instead of meeting Maryann's concerned gaze.
"What do you mean it didn't go well? You've been preparing for weeks. You had all your answers memorized, your outfit picked out, everything planned perfectly."
Laura let out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, well, you can't plan for everything."
Maryann moved closer, lowering her voice even though there were no customers in earshot. "What happened, sweetie? Was it one of those awful panel interviews where they try to intimidate you? Because I've heard some of these big companies…"
"My ex-boyfriend is the CEO."
The words tumbled out before Laura could stop them. She hadn't meant to tell anyone, hadn't planned to share her humiliation with anyone else, but suddenly she couldn't keep it inside anymore.
Maryann's eyebrows shot up. "Your ex-boyfriend? Which ex-boyfriend?"
"The one from college." Laura's voice was barely above a whisper now. "Leonard. The one I... the one I told you about."
"The one you cheated on?" Maryann's voice was carefully neutral, but Laura could hear the concern underneath.
Laura nodded miserably. "He was sitting right there at the head of the interview table. I walked into that room thinking it was going to be my big break, and there he was, looking at me like I was something disgusting he'd scraped off his shoe."
"Oh, honey." Maryann reached out and squeezed Laura's arm. "That must have been awful. What did you do?"
"What could I do?" Laura's voice cracked slightly. "I sat there and let him tear me apart in front of four other interviewers. He asked me question after question, all designed to make me look incompetent and worthless. He cut me off every time I tried to answer, made comments about my work history, my qualifications, everything."
Maryann shook her head sympathetically. "That's completely unprofessional. He can't let personal feelings interfere with business like that."
"Can't he?" Laura laughed bitterly. "He's the CEO. He can do whatever he wants. And what he wants is to make me pay for what I did to him."
"What exactly did you do to him, Laura? I mean, I know you said you cheated, but..."
Laura closed her eyes, the memory of that night four years ago washing over her like a wave of shame. She could still see Leonard's face when he'd found her with Mike, the way all the color had drained from his features, the sound he'd made… like someone had physically struck him.
"I cheated on him with his best friend," Laura said quietly. "At our prom night party. Leonard was looking for me, and instead of being with him, I was... I was kissing Mike in some empty hallway."
"His best friend?" Maryann's voice was shocked. "Oh, Laura."
"I know how it sounds, right." Laura opened her eyes, finally meeting Maryann's gaze. "I know exactly how awful it was. I've been living with the guilt for four years, knowing that I destroyed two relationships in one night. Leonard and Mike had been best friends since they were kids, and I ruined that too."
"But why?" Maryann asked gently. "If you loved Leonard… and you always talked about him like you did… why would you do something like that?"
Laura had asked herself that same question a thousand times over the past four years. Why had she let Mike kiss her that night? Why hadn't she pushed him away immediately? Why had she responded, even for those few terrible moments before Leonard found them?
"I don't know," she admitted. "I was young and stupid and confused. Mike had been flirting with me for months, making comments about how Leonard didn't appreciate me, how I deserved someone who would treat me better. And that night, he cornered me when I went to get some air, and he told me he'd been in love with me since the day Leonard introduced us."
"So he manipulated you."
"Maybe. But I still made the choice to kiss him back. I still betrayed Leonard's trust." Laura's voice was thick with old guilt and fresh despair. "And now he's successful and powerful and in control of my future, and he hasn't forgotten a single thing about what I did to him."
Maryann was quiet for a long moment, processing everything Laura had told her. When she spoke again, her voice was thoughtful.
"You know, honey, people change. Maybe he's changed too. Maybe if you explained…"
"No." Laura cut her off sharply. "You didn't see the way he looked at me today. The things he said. He told me to leave the company and never come back, or stay and face his wrath. Those were his exact words. 'Face my wrath.'"
"That sounds pretty dramatic, even for an angry ex-boyfriend."
"Leonard was never dramatic before. He was kind and gentle and... and he loved me. Really loved me. Which makes what I did to him so much worse." Laura felt tears starting to burn behind her eyes. "I broke something in him that night, Maryann. I could see it in his face when he found us. And today, I could see that it's still broken."
A customer approached the register, and Laura quickly wiped her eyes and pasted on her professional smile. But as she scanned the man's items and made small talk about the weather, her mind was still back in that corporate hallway, trapped between a bathroom door and Leonard's cold fury.
She'd applied for that job because she'd wanted to build a better life for herself. Instead, she'd walked straight into her past, and now she had to decide whether to fight for her future or let Leonard's anger destroy her dreams before they'd even had a chance to begin.
The customer left, and Maryann returned to her side.
"So what are you going to do?" Maryann asked quietly.
Laura stared out at the mall, watching people go about their normal lives, and realized she had absolutely no idea.