Secrets and Shadows
It took me some seconds to comprehend what was happening. Higan’s grip on my chin, which was nothing short of torturous, was nothing compared to the shock of his lips against mine. It wasn’t a kiss; it was more of a claim. An unapologetic assertion of his dominance over me.
I closed my eyes as my body reacted against my control. As he came closer, his body overpowered mine, and I could feel electric shocks running through my body.
My heart pounded in my throat as all of me yearned to shove him away, yet I didn't. I didn't want to. The kiss deepened, stirring emotions I didn’t want to acknowledge like something dark that whispered of taboo. But as suddenly as it began, Higan pulled away, leaving me shaken and exposed.
I eased my eyes open to discover his gaze on me. On his face, there was an expression of disturbance that I couldn't determine.. Regret? Anger? He was always impossible to read.
"Pathetic," he hissed. “You think that meant something? You’re just as weak as I thought, Harlyn.” My heart dropped and landed somewhere around my kneecaps. The bond I had stupidly assumed went up in a thousand pieces of shards.
Higan narrowed his eyes at me, taking a step back. He stared me up and down as if I were nothing. “You are nothing, Harlyn. Nothing but a pathetic lapdog. Don’t ever forget your place.”
Don’t cry, Harlyn. Pull yourself together. I said to myself, willing to hold it together. But Higan had always known how to break me. The ache of rejection returned to me, as if it were novel that evening it happened. I nibbled the inside of my cheeks. The metallic taste of blood in my mouth for a fleeting moment filled the bill as a subtle diversion. My eyes stung from the conscious effort to hold back tears that threatened to fall..
“And don’t think for a second that I’m done with you,” Higan continued, his tone now icy and detached. “You are mine. So, stay away from Ethan Starrk. He is not your problem—I am.”
He spun around and walked off, freezing me in place. The heaviness of his severe remarks made my shoulders slump, as if they had literally flattened me. I released a soft cry as warm tears streamed down my face without restraint. I wiped them off.
My breath shook when I heard footsteps coming. I looked up to see Becca approaching me with a disapproving look.
"Becca," I croaked. My voice was raw and dry from holding back sobs.
She didn't allow me to continue. "I witnessed what transpired, Harlyn," she spoke with a shrill tone that cut the air with the precision of a knife. "Is it new to you to possess some self-worth? Is it?"
I gaped at her. I would be lying if I said I expected such words from her, given my situation. Becca was a tough love type of girl. She kept her distance at school and everywhere else, but she was the only one who didn't treat me like a total outcast. I appreciated our strange friendship, although it was secret. We were both outcasts, and I cling dearly to that common factor between us.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, hoping to understand her sudden harshness.
Becca folded her arms against her chest, giving me a knowing look. “Higan rejected you, remember? Or have you forgotten already?” Her tone was icy and lacking the comfort I urgently sought. How could I forget? No woman could forget the day she was scorned. “You should have walked away. But no, you had to throw yourself at him. Do you know how pathetic you looked?"
Her words slapped me across the face.
“I didn't throw—”
“Don’t lie to me, Harlyn.” She chided, cutting me off. “I saw the whole thing. You kissed him back. And for what? To feel wanted? Or to pretend that he might actually care about you?” Her face hardened as she shook her head. “He doesn’t care about you, Harlyn. He’s made that very clear. You are only making things worse.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Becca was supposed to be my friend, but her words were like they came from an enemy. ‘I didn’t kiss him willingly,’ I shot back.
“Then, why didn’t you stop him?” Becca shot back, her forehead creasing. “Why didn’t you push him away? You’re letting him win. Can’t you see that?”
I wiped a tear away. “It’s not that simple,” I sobbed. “And you know that.”
Becca raked her fingers down her brown hair “I do.” she said, her expression softening slightly. I understood where she was coming from. She had gone through a similar fate over a year ago. She handled the situation with a strength I lacked. But she needed to realize that I wasn’t her. Becca took a deep breath and rested her hand on my shoulder. “I know it is hard,” she said hesitantly, then gave a gentle squeeze. "But you have to be strong. You can’t keep letting him hurt you like this."
Becca and I were not ones to share physical contact, but the warmth of her hand was oddly comforting. It showed that she cares for me even if her words hurt. She was right, of course, but how was I supposed to stand up to my Alpha? Before I could ponder further, an unfamiliar scent drifted through the air. It was too prominent to ignore. I straightened, my senses suddenly on high alert.
Becca noticed my shift and drew her hand away. She scanned the parking lot warily. “Is something wrong?” she asked, with a bit of concern. A figure appeared out of nowhere, heading straight towards us before I could respond.. And I pondered on who the person was.
The sun’s rays caught her sharp cheekbones and pale skin, making them glow. Her jet-black hair flowed behind her like silk, and she moved with the determined grace of someone on a mission.
Becca tensed beside me. “W-who are you?” She quivered. I couldn’t blame her. I would have sounded the same. The lady before us was quite intimidating.
The lady didn’t answer immediately. She gave a slight smile, her eyes fixed on me.. “You must be Harlyn,” she said as if saying something long suspected. Her voice carried the same unmistakable British accent as Ethan’s, which only made her presence feel even more eerie.
Aside from being thrown back by the fact that there was another new face in town, it was weird that she happened to know my name. I nodded slowly, unable to tear my gaze away from her. “And you are?”
“Abigail Berlette,” she quipped. “I’m a friend of Ethan Starrk. Perhaps you’ve heard of him?”
Becca’s breath caught beside me. It was then that I knew she recognized the name. The news about the new pack of werewolves in Springville had spread.
“What do you want?” I asked, my voice unsteady. I wanted nothing to do with Ethan or any of his friends for personal reasons. And I also couldn’t go against Higan’s orders.
Abigail’s smile widened just a fraction. “I saw what went down between you and your Alpha,” she said, deliberately ignoring my question. Her tone was lighthearted, as if she were teasing me. “I must say, it was quite the spectacle.”
My stomach twisted from the recollection of the humiliating interaction between Higan and me. “Did Ethan send you here to spy on me?” I asked, certain that he would have also heard of my pitiful rejection story.
“No, no. Far from it,” Abigail denied. “I just happened to see you two. A lover’s quarrel, I thought at first.” She sighed, inspecting her nails as if discussing something trivial. “High school drama.” She has a youthful appearance, but the manner she stated it made it seem like she was decades older.
“What is it to you?” I queried. My attempt to sound nonchalant failed. There was just something about her that made me uneasy.
“I’ve seen this before,” Abigail replied, her eyes narrowing and meeting me again. “More times than you can imagine.”
I scowled, rolling my eyes. Of course, I wasn’t the first ever to be rejected. “And?” I erupted, getting ready for the upcoming insult.
Abigail stepped nearer, and I reflexively moved back. "Has he mentioned to you the reason for his rejection?" she joked. I blinked slowly, caught off guard by the question. “N-no,” I stammered, the word sounding like betrayal as if I had just spilled a secret I didn’t know existed. Was there something I was supposed to know? In search of answers, I glanced at Becca. who was just as lost.
Abigail pressed her lips into a thin line. “Of course, he hasn’t,” she hissed, more to herself than to me. “Coward. I prefer the old ways. She paused with a small smile. “Some truths are kept hidden for a reason, Harlyn. And not always for reasons you expect.”
“What are you trying to say?” I asked, my frustration growing. “If there’s something i should know, tell me.”
Abigail shook her head slowly, a mysterious look playing across her face. “It is not my place to reveal anything. Sometimes, rejection isn’t about weakness or strength, nor is it about hierarchy. Sometimes, it’s about what hasn’t been realized yet. What hasn’t come to the surface.”
Her words were heavy with implication, offering no clear answers. “What hasn’t come to the surface?” I repeated, trying to clear my confusion.
I paused my breathing, eager to listen to her next words.
Abigail's gaze pierced through me.. Her expression was unreadable. In a swift moment, Becca took a step forward. “Cut the weird act. If you have something to say, say it already,” she spat with a stern face.
Abigail glanced at Becca as if she were nothing more than a trifling nuisance. “Like I said, I’m not here to spill,” she repeated.
As she beckoned away, her words clouded my thoughts. It only left me with more questions.
Becca and I watched her leave with a troubled gaze.
“Do you think what she said made any sense?” Becca directed at me.
“I don’t know,” I admitted, “But I’ll have to find out.”