Chapter 3 (part 4)
It looks like there’ll be a pajama party. The gays say to sing in front of the circle one by one.
“Since it’s your first day, you will introduce yourselves first before singing, okay?” the coach says.
The first performer is the girl with curly hair. “Hi, I’m Tara,” she begins.
I recognize the song she chooses; it’s one of the songs by the gays. The girl beside her sings another song by the band. Most of the girls sing songs by the band. Most of the boys choose RnB songs and try a little dance. Some of them who choose ballads really feel the songs from their hearts; it’s obvious by the way they gesture with their hands and close their eyes. A few of the campers sing their own compositions, which I find brave, announcing it proudly to the group. I don’t know if I can do that.
Next is a guy, standing firmly holding a guitar. “I’m Roland,” he starts. “The song I’ll sing is by The Pedal.” He points to where the gays sit at the back. “I’ll change a bit of the song. I try to make it sound ballad instead of pop.” He begins strumming; I like how he does that.
I don’t know the original arrangement of the song, but I love his version. It makes us feel like the song is so close to his heart. Maybe that’s why he chooses that song and even makes his own version of it. He’s not the only person who sings with an instrument; the others do too, but some of the campers choose to sing a cappella. I can’t decide what to sing. I want a little famous song that others can join in while I sing.
I know I haven’t told you this—never have—since you’re not into my music because you prefer country music. But I’m so glad you introduce me to your favorite singer; it gives me a little grounding in pop music. You told me before that you don’t like loud music because you find it deafening. I find that ridiculous since most pop songs are loud too, but you explain that you’re not into that—you prefer something more mellow. Another reason why you like country music, since it’s softer. I listen to pop now when I used to hate it, and it’s just because of Taylor Swift. I love her new songs, though. Don’t kill me for calling Taylor Swift a pop singer, but we can’t deny she’s into pop now.
I don’t dare ask my friends what they’re going to sing, since I guess it’s one of their idols’ songs. And now it’s Zara’s turn.
“Hi, I’m Zara. It’s a Z, not an S.” she begins. She clears her throat before singing.
At the very first word, I immediately recognize the song. It’s Dear John by Taylor Swift. I am amazed because she’s not a fan of Taylor, but I guess those times of heartache brought by her ex-boyfriends’ breakups are the reason she chooses this song. Dear John is one of the most powerful and emotional songs by Taylor Swift, and this song suits Zara’s personal experience, I guess. Based on her version of him, she is blinded by love and dismisses the signs. Now, the way she sings it, it’s like she’s singing to her ex-boyfriend through Dear John’s letter. I feel like she is the one who experiences the horror of being in a relationship with John Mayer. Just two months ago, her boyfriend broke up with her. I thought she was going to explode, and we might have to rush her to an asylum.
…
I was reviewing for my chemistry exam while listening to music on my phone. Before the refrain, the music stopped, and my phone vibrated. I rolled my eyes and looked at who was disturbing me. I picked it up and heard the sobbing voice of my friend.
“Where are you?” were the only words that came out of my mouth.
I close my notes and books, then checked my face in the mirror and finger-combed my hair.
“Uhm, Ice Cream Land.” she said.
“I’ll be there in nine minutes.” I hung up the call.
It was raining, but I didn’t change my pajamas and thin t-shirt. I grabbed my wallet and threw a jacket on my shoulder. While walking to the front door, I texted Arya.
The rain wasn’t heavy, so I just put my hoodie on my head to shield from the rain. When I got there, Arya was already seated next to Zara, who was still sobbing. Zara was still wearing her school uniform and Arya was wearing pajamas and shoes—looks awful.
“So, who wants ice cream?” I said as soon as I reached their table.
I slammed my hands on the table, startling them. Arya looked at me, but Zara ignored me.
“I do!” said Arya, trying to sound cheerful, even raising her hand.
Zara continued to ignore my question; she kept sobbing. I wished she could stop, but her tears seemed endless. Arya informed Zara we are going to the counter to buy ice cream and she just nod.
“What does she say?” I asked as soon as we were far enough to not be overheard.
“Nothing. She just keeps crying. That’s how I see her when I got here.” Arya said, looking at our poor friend.
We ordered one gallon of vanilla ice cream. When we got back to the table, Arya and I scooped our own ice cream without taking our eyes off Zara then took the container and grabbed a plastic spoon. She started eating directly from the container.
“He tells me I’m not enough.” she said, stuttering. Her voice was muffled by nonstop crying.
“What?!” Arya and I said in unison.
Zara nodded, telling us we heard her right. She blew her nose. We kept our mouths open.
“Wh-why?” I asked.
“How?” Arya asked.
“He calls me after school. He… he wants me to go to his house, s-so I go there. I w-we go straight to his room, h-his room,” she said. She paused for a moment then goes on. “I see his Marvel collection as if it is the first time, I’ve seen it. Then he hugged me from behind and kisses me on my neck, then my cheek. He kissed me—for the last time. I face him and he told me he loves me and that I’m a good person and talented. I start laughing because it sounds like a goodbye…”
I saw her crushed dreams with the guy she loved the most. I saw her broken heart scattered on the floor. I saw her pain all over her. It’s like mine. I feel like I am looking in the mirror and seeing the same pain.
She stopped for a while. I felt she was gathering her words and strength from all the heartache inside her. Tears start to form in her eyes again. She was about to cry but fights it, swallowing the sobs like water. I held her hands. Arya patted her back, whispering that it was going to be okay
.