Chapter 3: The taste of comfort
Surprisingly my first week goes by without any major disaster if I'm not adding the time I almost burnt down the kitchen while trying to make a meal for my husband or the times I burnt his shirts while trying to iron, luckily he never goes off on me or hits me. He simply nods at my efforts and asks small questions about my wellbeing. It's almost like he's a different person at home compared to when he's in a social gathering. I even catch little smiles on his face from time to time when he's speaking to Sarah.
"You're a chatty one, yeah?" Sarah says her eyes still on the soup she's stirring
"I guess" I shrug, "I guess you bring out that part of me"
I also didn't know i could be so chatty till I met Sarah, she listens and her presence is just so comforting, it's hard to not talk.
"I also noticed you stammer around Stephen but somehow you're eloquent when you're talking to me. What's the problem my dear?"
I pause, the cheese in my mouth turning sour
"I don't know . . . . I stammer when I'm scared"
She laughs like I just said something silly "You don't have to be scared about anyone in this family my dear" she turns to look at me with soft eyes "They may be hard and tough outside but they always love and cherish their own, you just have to be yourself"
I want to feel thrilled after hearing that but all I feel is guilt because it should've been my sister, not me. I let myself get comfortable but not anymore, I have to talk to Stephen about a divorce soon enough.
"That's lovely but I'm not sure how long I might spend here" I say my voice dropping cause of the sadness.
She turns to look at me, her brows pulled together in a frown, she's about to protest but my phone ringing takes my attention away from her. I look at the name "Renae" displayed on the screen and my stomach drops.
"I. . I'll ta. .take this" I say taking my phone out of the kitchen.
"He. . He. . . Hello " I say my voice barely above a whisper
There's a calm laugh on the other side of the phone "Let's meet at the moon's cafe and have a little chat?"
Finally, my chance to explain myself. I don't care if she'll listen but I just wanted to explain at least so I agree immediately. I run upstairs and throw on a floral green dress and without informing anyone, I sneak out. I walk a distance before getting a cab to the cafe. I dap the sweat on my forehead before walking into the cafe, I spot my sister sitting in a fitted nude dress with a darker shade of nude shoes, her dark hair is packed in a perfect bun. I suddenly become aware of flaws. I should've put my hair up or maybe applied makeup to cover my freckles.
"Hey" she waves me over with a smile
I shake the thoughts out of my head and go over to where she's at
"I really didn't mean to . . ." She cuts me off with a hush
She nods slightly, an order for me to sit down. "I didn't call you here to blame you for anything Sally" she takes both my hands in hers " You're my little sister and I know more than anyone that you'd never try to hurt a fly, talk more of hurting your own sister. What happened on Saturday was a big mistake and mistakes can always be corrected"
"I'm sorry" I sob, "I'm really sorry and I'll do anything just so you can forgive me"
She looks at me with what seems like care "I know you will my sweet little Sally"
I nod in agreement, she let's go of my hands to pass me wipes to dry my tears. That little gesture makes my heart leap for joy, it felt so . . . I don't know . . . Maybe beautiful is the right word.
"You know this marriage between you and Stephen is just a facade, it's not suppose to be your reality" she says her stare holding mine and I simply nod cause she was saying the truth "You'll make everything right Sally, Okay?"
"Yes" I nod again
"Three month is the longest I can wait and that is more than enough time for you to find a way to break that marriage"
I gasp "I do. . don't know if I. . .I ca. . can"
She comes to sit beside me and cups my face affectionately "I believe in you Sally. You're smart and I know you'll figure a way out"
I see the trust in her eyes, unable to bring myself to ruin the bond forming, I just nod. Now I was determined to make this marriage fail, it should not be so hard since Stephen and I don't share any feeling for each other plus I'm not the wife chosen for him. I go back home with excitement that my sister is finally affectionate towards me. My excitement doubles when mum calls me in the evening, she speaks softly and praises me for doing the right thing. I feel like I've won the lottery and it seems my joy is contagious cause Stephen too smiles throughout dinner when I fill him in on my day without the part where I meet my sister.
"I'm proud of you" He says when I'm done speaking
It catches me off guard and I find myself trying to keep tears of joy away from my eyes.
"Why?" I ask
"Nothing" He shrugs , "Just tell me about your day everyday with this same excitement"
That night i go to bed with an excitement enough to light up the whole town and a new purpose, ruining my marriage.
My tummy hurts so bad that I feel like my organs are being torn from my body. Oh no, it's that time of the month again. I begin to have flashes of mum yelling at me for staining the sheets or pretending to be in pain for attention.
"Why are you so careless Sally?, No husband wants to see stained sheets unless it's your virginity and stop groaning in pain like you're the first lady to get a period" she'd say at the top of her voice.
The door opens and Stephen walks in clad in gym shorts and a white tee with a bottle of water and face towel draped over his shoulder.
"I'm so. . sory" I scramble out of bed and try to stand as straight as possible
He frowns looking at the blood on the bed then me "come here" He simply says
"I'm sorry" I sob into my palm afraid of what might happen next. I feel so ashamed, I should've known and prepared for it.