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SELLY ARQUENE
Ten Years Later
Somewhere in Mississippi
My heart pounds in my chest as my legs won’t stop moving, carrying me between the train cars as fast as the wheels on the tracks. I leap, jumping over a crate, my fingers gripping the edge of my dress which I’ve lifted to my knees to run faster.
"What did I tell you about running inside the train, child?" The door in front of me swings open as the small gray-haired woman in a red dress and gold bangles on her wrists steps quickly aside to avoid bumping into me. "SELLYYY..."
I don’t stop—I just laugh, glancing back to see Baba with her hands on her hips, shaking her head. My heart races, and the smell of incense fills my lungs as I step into Anik’s car, the Indian illusionist.
"Good morning, darling," he greets me, still with his back turned as he shuffles a deck of cards, sitting on a stool near the window. "Careful not to wake Veruska—she’s in a foul mood today."
I giggle at his warning, pushing through the doors at the end of his car, the wind hitting me as I leave one wagon and enter the next. I spot the hammock swinging to the left near the window, a woman’s leg hanging out while a low whistle escapes her lips.
"Do you know what time it is?" Her voice is sharp as she leans her head out of the hammock and stares at me.
I nod quickly, clutching the fabric of my dress tightly, looking at her with anticipation. I notice the fake beard on her face—the same one she wears in her acts as the bearded lady. She sighs and rolls her eyes.
"Go on, then." She winks at me, making me smile.
I spring from the door and bolt through her car like lightning. I’m already entering the next one, releasing my dress and grabbing the side rail, climbing over a crate to the left and jumping to another, dodging marionettes hanging from the ceiling.
"You’re going to break your neck one day, young lady." Lafit’s low voice sounds. The ventriloquist is sitting at his table, painting one of his new dolls. "What do you think?"
He turns on his stool, showing off his work—the new puppet he’s crafting, a tiny princess.
"I think something’s missing..." Lafit glances from the puppet to me.
I cover my mouth with my hands, then point to my smile, showing him what I think the puppet lacks.
"A smile?" He raises his thick gray eyebrow at me.
I nod eagerly, leaping to the next crate as he chuckles behind me. I jump down at the end of his car and continue running, letting my legs carry me freely.
"You’re cheating." Charles’s loud voice rings out in frustration. "Where did you get that jack..."
I see him sitting on a crate, holding his cards, while the chimp stares back at him sternly.
"This monkey’s cheating at cards!" Charles scowls at me. "I never should’ve taught him poker!"
I shake my head, reach over to grab a banana from the fruit basket, and hand it to Chile. The chimp grins, takes the fruit, and promptly whacks Charles on the head with it.
"Hey, where are you going?" Charles asks, scratching his head.
"I think I can guess," Fredo says from the end of the car, emerging from behind a curtain, his cheeks full of shaving foam and a razor in hand. "Good morning, sweetheart."
I bring my fingers to my lips, kiss them, then stretch my arm to pat the top of his head as I pass.
"Come on! Why does everyone have to pat the dwarf’s head?" Fredo growls, waving his hands in the air.
"They say it brings good luck," Charles says with a laugh.
I leave the car still hearing the two of them bickering, which has become routine ever since Fredo brought us here with the circus’s old owner. That man had become our protector, taking care of Charles and me—just like Baba and Amelia did.
As I reach the next car, I slow down, approaching the cage where Rasputin, the brown bear, is asleep. I tiptoe past him, careful not to make a sound, until I reach the door at the back. When I exit his car and enter the next, a loud roar stops me in my tracks. My eyes lock onto the large cage in front of me, where Donzela watches me with serious, feline eyes.
I clutch the sides of my dress, bend forward, and flex my legs as I laugh. She yawns, dropping her weight to the floor and sprawling lazily, her long lioness tail swaying side to side. King Arthur, the beautiful lion with a tall golden mane, stretches in the back of the cage, then rises and strides toward the bars, following me.
I smile sideways, not looking directly at him but knowing he’s keeping pace. Arthur roars when I intentionally ignore him, teasing him. I spin once and lift my arms, pretending to draw two revolvers from my waist. The lion flops to the side, playing dead, his tongue lolling out.
I laugh as I approach the cage, dropping to my knees and covering my face with my hands, pretending to cry. His giant tongue licks me, practically covering my entire hands, making me open my fingers and blow air at his face. The big cat leaps backward like a startled kitten, still playing.
I grip the bars and press my face to them, opening and closing my lips like a fish. King Arthur inches forward until his massive face is right against mine, purring. I stretch my arms through the bars, wrapping them around his huge neck, feeling his warm breath against me.
"Good morning, big guy..." I whisper to King Arthur, whom I’ve cared for since the day he was born, along with Donzela.
Their mother died days after they were born, and I adopted Arthur as he adopted me. I’d sneak away from Amelia night after night just to stay in the cage with him—because I knew he was afraid of the dark, like I was.
I kiss the tip of his nose before getting up and stepping away from the cage, running to the next car, where I giggle at the sight of a baby elephant nursing from its mother. I pet them briefly before moving on.
My heart leaps as I see, at the far end of the next car, the door that made me run so fast. I open it, and the wind rushes into my face as I finally reach the end of the train. I look out at the trees and the tracks behind us, quickly turning as I step out onto the small balcony. I grab the side rail and climb the iron ladder as fast as I can.
I rise to my feet on top of the train, my chest filling with air. I clutch my dress and lift it to mid-thigh, running as fast as I can, leaping between the cars, my eyes fixed on the horizon, catching the scent of eucalyptus, pasture, and the trees around us.
Arthur’s roar echoes beneath me as I pass over his car, and I laugh joyfully with the wind tossing my hair.
"SEELLYYY, I TOLD YOU NOT TO RUN ON TOP OF THOSE DAMN CARS!" Baba yells as I leap from one wagon to the next.
My breathing is heavy, my feet bare. I follow the path I’ve taken so many times—I know every inch, every step of this train. As I near the coal car, I stop. The mast holding the circus flag flutters above, and I grip it.
My eyes drift ahead, and I feel my heart free as I close my eyes, listening to the sound of the train’s furnace in the boiler—what makes the wheels spin faster on the tracks—birds chirping around me, and the purest, most beautiful feeling of freedom. I stretch out my other arm as far as I can.
I lean sideways, holding the mast tightly, feeling almost like I’m flying, like a free bird above the train, the sun’s rays warming my face and filling me with life. Everything inside me glows, and in this moment, all alone up here, I can feel as if the warmth of the sun on my face were my mother’s lips kissing me—which makes me certain she’s with me.
"Good morning, Mommy..." I whisper, opening my eyes halfway. "I’m coming home, coming home, Mom."
Tears burn in my eyes, the emotion growing stronger with each pass
ing day as we draw closer to Louisiana. After ten years away... I’m finally going home.