CHAPTER 4~REJECTED AND ALONE
~JADE~
"What are you doing standing there like a fucking statue?" Hunter barks, snapping me out of my stream of self-pity.
"Hunter, I…"
"Save it, Jade; I need you to pack your shit and get it out of the bedroom." He snapped, his eyes shooting daggers at me.
"You want me to pack my things and remove them from our bedroom?" I was dumbfounded, to say the least.
Won't he at least give me the benefit of the doubt? At least try to ask me what happened now that we are both back home.
I understand he was angry with what he walked into this morning, and any other person would have got the wrong idea.
I understand that he lost control and acted irrationally due to his anger, but it's been hours. No matter how angry he was this morning, shouldn't he at least have the tiniest bit of trust and ask me questions?
"Our bedroom?" he mused, snorting as he shook his head.
"There's no such thing as 'our'; the only reason you're still under my roof is because my parents won't have it any other way, at least until the trial with the council, and I will not share the same room or bed with a cheating whore." He snarled the last words of his sentence with a venom that had my skin crawling with disgust.
"How are you so quick to throw me away, Hunter? I thought you loved me. How are you so unfazed and ready to throw out two years of commitment and love? You aren't giving me the benefit of the doubt; you won't ask me what happened. I am your Mate, Hunter; shouldn't that mean something to you?" I tried to fight back my tears. I tried to rein in my voice and keep myself from yelling because I knew screaming wouldn't solve this situation.
"It meant something enough for me to spend two years with you; it meant something enough that I chose to make you my Luna, but that meaning fell off the cliff the minute you chose to spread your legs for another." Hunter bellowed in my face, gritting his teeth, and it stung my heart to watch him painfully fight back tears.
"I didn't do it, Hunter; I swear I didn't open my legs for him. Do you not even trust me at all?" I moved to grab his hand, but he yanked it out of my reach, hurrying to put some distance between us.
"I trusted you, Jade; if I didn't trust you, I wouldn't have given us a chance. I would've rejected you two years ago if I didn't trust you, especially knowing you are her sister. Despite the promise I made to myself not to love again, I broke that promise because of you. I chose to give love a chance. After all, I trusted you because I thought you were my person for life, only for my trust to be broken like this again. You know how that saying—once bitten twice shy—I should've taken it for what it is, yet here I am getting my heart ripped out for the second time again by someone I love."
He quickly turned his back to me to prevent me from seeing the tears sliding down his cheek, but I saw before he could completely look away, and the pain in his eyes ripped through my gut.
I once promised him that I would never be the reason for his pain, and I never want to be.
"Hunter, please; I would never intentionally hurt you like this. I didn't have sex with Darren, and I would never betray your trust like that. All I did was sleep in the same bed as him; I don't even remember falling asleep with him in the room. I just... Hunter, please, you have to believe me. I will never betray your love like that; you're everything to me."
He turned, brows knitted, cold eyes scanning me. "Are you trying to tell me Darren raped you? Is that what happened?" The question caught me off guard, and I blinked, my heart pounding in my chest as I pondered his question and contemplated whether I should say yes.
If I say yes, then that would mean that I am admitting that something happened between us, which would mean that I remembered what happened and will technically make me a liar since I already told Hunter and my parents that I don't remember a thing.
"Jade." Hunter snapped impatiently, "Did Darren rape you? Is that what happened?"
"I…" I swallowed a huge lump down my throat. "I don't know; I don't think so; I don't remember what happened." I was a stuttering mess because whatever I saw would be interpreted whichever way Hunter chose to interpret it.
"You claim and swear that you didn't have sex with him, yet you also say you don't remember what happened in the same breath. Do you take me for a fool?" Hunter growled, closing the distance between us, and I shook my head rapidly.
"No, no Hunter, I swear the last thing I remember was drinking water."
Hunter scoffed, cutting me off. "You must think I'm crazy; this isn't my first time dealing with a cheating whore who will say anything to save her ass. I should've known from your history with men in the Philippines. Once a whore, always a whore. And here I thought you deserved to be loved." He spat with so much distaste in his voice.
My leg trembled, and I staggered a few feet backwards as his words punched right through my heart.
"Hunter…" I mumbled weakly in astonishment as tears trickled down my cheeks, and I clutched the blouse mom had given me close to my heart.
How could he use my pain against me? He was the only one I ever told about the horrible things I went through in Manila—the trauma, the scars, the pain—which I was never comfortable sharing with anyone else until I met him. Because I didn't want to open myself up to anyone like that, I didn't want anyone to see that dark past, and I trusted him.
I shared my pain with him because who else would love me unconditionally if not my mate? And he turned around to use it against me.
"I should've rejected you the moment I found you naked with another man." He growled, spitting in my face.
"You can't do that, not until trial, and I'm pregnant with your heir." My lips quivered while I whispered, and I shook my head, pleading with my eyes for him not to do this. The council will prove that I didn't cheat; they should.
"Who knows how many men you've been fucking behind my back? You expect me to accept the child of a whore, huh?"
"I am not a..." The remainder of the sentences became stuck in my throat because, in retrospect, can I truly claim not to be a whore?
It was what I was known for in the dark streets of the nightclubs; I was known as a filthy whore who accepted every hand and every dick for money.
Maybe Hunter is right after all.
How can I even claim Darren didn't have sex with me when I have no recollection of what happened?
Breaking eye contact with Hunter, I cast my head down in shame, because if I'm being honest with myself, nothing I say will change his mind. He once told me that the one thing he'll never forgive is cheating, and if he already made up his mind that I cheated on him, begging him is pointless.
"I, Hunter Hendrix, son of Orion Hendrix, reject you, Jade Althea Dimaano, daughter of Juan Dimaano, as my mate and future Luna, based on infidelity. May the energy of the moon uphold this rejection and Mother Goddess ease my pain through this betrayal." He snarled the last words, shoving me out of the way as he stomped out of our home, and I crumbled to the floor as a crippling pain shot through my spine, rushing straight for my heart.
There was nothing I could say to change his mind, not even the fact that I was pregnant with his child.
I had tried to make him go to the pack clinic with me, or even call the pack doctor over to confirm that I wasn't lying, but he didn't even care.
He doesn't think it's his child because he believes I had to have slept with other men aside from Darren that he didn't know about, and he is convinced that if I am truly pregnant, then the child belongs to one of them.
But the child is his, even though he doesn't believe me. I know I should've told him before this happened, but I wasn't sure that I was pregnant because getting pregnant as a beta was almost impossible. Unlike omegas, a beta wolf like myself isn't always lucky to be blessed with a child. I'm not sure what the goddess has against us, but a beta's chance of reproducing was almost next to none. That and all the weird pills my aunt had me swallowing back in Manila.
I never once pictured myself pregnant or thought I'd end up being a mother. Sure, I loved the idea, but I knew the chances of me ever getting pregnant were thin.
I also didn't think I was worthy of being loved by any man until Hunter came along, and over the past two years with him, I've always prayed and hoped the goddess would bless me with a child, knowing I only had one shot because of his bloodline. And I knew giving him an heir would make him love me more and his parents more accepting of me.
Despite how hard I've tried to remember what happened after drinking that water, my memory keeps going blank. Nothing made sense because I knew I hadn't tasted any alcohol, so what the hell happened to me, and how did I black out? It made no sense that I blacked out from drinking water—water that my sister offered to me. Could it be that she...
No!
I shook my head at the thought—the possibility that Arya had something to do with what happened. It makes no sense; why would she drug me? What does she stand to gain? I know my sister and I have had our differences ever since I came back to the pack, and that made sense to me because we spent twelve years of our lives apart.
I can't fault her for thinking of me as a stranger who's here to take her place in our parents' hearts, or whatever it was she said two years ago. Still, I made an effort to get along with her, even on days when she was being unnecessarily hostile. I may never understand why, but would she go to such extreme lengths as to drug me?
I can count on one finger how many times Hunter has been home for the past five days. He has been avoiding me like a plague, and when he doesn't, his words cut deeper than a knife. It's not only him; the entire pack seems to be avoiding me like I am a disease. I made the mistake of stepping out two days ago because I wanted to talk to my parents, and I couldn't shake off the disdain I got from everyone I met on the way to my parent's house.
Even my parents used the excuse of having somewhere to be to get me out of their house. I was left standing outside on the porch as the feeling of loss and being unwanted washed over me. Just like it did every time my aunt would put me out of the hostel because I didn't bring in enough tips for the night.
I had thought coming back here was the fresh start that I needed, and for two years I had a home, a pack that I thought loved me, and a man I could call mine, only for all that to change overnight, and now my life is no more than a nightmare.
My heart ached at the thought of everything, and I wrapped my hands around my lower half as bile rose in the pit of my stomach. Another wave of nausea hit me, and I closed my eyes to push down the urge, knowing I had nothing else in me but stomach acid to throw up.
‘You need to eat, at least for the baby.'
I almost jumped out of my skin at the unexpected sound of my wolf's voice.
‘What do you care, Lev? Didn't you also abandon me?'
I bit back harshly, unable to hold back the bitterness in my voice, wincing as another bolt of pain jabbed at my heart.
‘I would never abandon you, Jade. You know that.'
Levana's voice was small, almost as weak as mine. It confused me because I hadn't heard from her for the past five days, ever since the horrible morning that changed everything in my life. She had been silent, almost like she wasn't even a part of me, and it had just made everything worse because I couldn't shake the thought that even my wolf had abandoned me, like everyone else.
‘I'm not sure if I know anything anymore. I needed you, and you weren't there. I needed you, Lev, and you just... Just like everyone else,'
I choked up, my eyes stung with unshed tears as I manoeuvred out of the bed in the guest room and made my way down the hallway leading to the kitchen.
‘I would never do that to you; I would never abandon you. I don't know what happened; we were at the party, and everything went blank. I was thrust into darkness, and I couldn't feel you. I kept trying to reach behind our mental walls, but you weren't there. And then Hunter, rejecting us, struck so hard that I couldn't even push against the mental barriers to reach you until today. You know I'll never leave you to suffer alone.'
Levana explained, choking up as she spoke, and I sighed. I know she wouldn't just leave me on my own, yet it was hard to fight the thought that maybe she had also gotten tired of me and my problems. I would be fed up too if I were her and stuck with this useless excuse of a human who has done nothing but brought us both so much pain.
‘Do you remember what happened?'
I asked with high hopes, even though I somehow knew what her answer would be.
‘The only thing I remember is Arya rushing to bring you water when you choked.'
‘Hunter caught me in bed with Darren. He thinks I cheated on him. He wouldn't listen to me, and he rejected us.'
My voice thinned out with every word I said as I tried to fill her in.
‘I know. You're not doing so well with putting a mental barrier around your thoughts. I can hear everything; I know what happened. I'm sorry.'
‘None of this is your fault; there's no one to blame but myself. If I had been extra careful, maybe if I hadn't gone to the party and just stayed home like the perfect mate I was supposed to be, then none of this would've happened. I wouldn't have ended up sleeping with Darren and causing our mate to reject us.'
‘You didn't have sex with Darren, and there's no fault in going to your sister's party when she invited you.'
Levana bites out in a low growl.
‘You don't know that. I thought nothing happened, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe I don't remember because of whatever made me black out. It's not like I haven't been in this position before; back in the clubhouse, most of the pills made me black out. I'd wake up in bed with four men—five—and have no recollection of what happened. Maybe it happened with Darren, and I just don't remember. And Hunter was right—once a whore, always a whore.'
‘You are not a whore.'
Levana growled so loudly that it tumbled through my head, and I stopped short in the middle of the kitchen at the intensity of the anger behind her growl.
‘You are not a whore, Jade. You were a victim, and right now you're a victim once again. Just because you don't remember what happened doesn't make you guilty of infidelity.'
She gritted out in a tight voice, and I shook my head, blinking the tears away as I walked over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water and a glass cup from the cup cabinet.
‘How can you be so sure?'
I asked, despite my resolve.
‘You are a mated wolf; I am a mated wolf; if you had sex with Darren, Hunter should've felt it.'
Levana tries to explain,
‘What if he couldn't feel it because we blacked out? Maybe.'
‘No!' She gave me zero chance to complete my sentence. ‘Stop trying to find reasons to make yourself guilty when you aren't.'
I prepared to answer her when a cold shudder rushed up my body and my spine stiffened.
"What is... Dear Moon?" I let out a half-choked cry as a sharp pain pierced through my heart. The glass cup I was holding slipped out of my grip as my hand trembled, and I doubled over on my knee with a loud cry in agony as another wave of pain shot up my spine.
"Oh, goddess. Dear goddess… Arghhhh." I let out an ear-shattering cry. My knee gave out, my heart slammed so hard against my ribcage that it felt like it was trying to escape out of my body. My lungs tightened in pain as breathing suddenly became impossible.
"What the fuck is going on?" I howled as a sudden heat wave barreled down my spine and through my entire body. I let out another shrill cry as an unexplainable pain knotted in my stomach.
‘Hunter!'
Levana growled in a pain-stricken voice. I crumbled against the wet kitchen floor. Pain shot up in my arm as the broken glass cut through my palm.
"Oh goddess, I can't... I can't... Why?"
I had no idea what I was asking, but I couldn't form coherent words anymore. Not with the sudden flame of pain burning through my entire body. Nor could I keep back the tears that flowed freely down my cheeks. My other hand wrapped instinctively against my stomach while I writhed against the kitchen counter in agony.
‘You didn't accept his rejection. Hunter's having sex with someone else.'
Levana whispered so lowly that I could barely hear her.
Another bolt of pain and a searing heat flashed through my body. My stomach felt like a hundred and fifty pins were stabbing through it all at once, and I coiled into myself.
"My baby," I whispered weakly, hot tears rushing down my cheeks as the pain shot through my head and darkness consumed me.