4 Amateur
He was coming to our school with a delegation, and we had to make an impression. A concert, student presentations—the whole parade. Tanya was among the top students expected to speak.
“Well, you know the school needs funds for repairs and development,” I shrugged, amused. “We’re dancing as best we can.”
“As if he’s going to care about our dumb presentations,” Tanya huffed, finally putting the notebook aside and focusing on her food. “He’ll die of boredom before we finish.”
“Then make your speech so good he wants to listen,” I advised with a grin. “Otherwise, you’ll be charged with involuntary manslaughter.”
“Haha,” she mocked me with a smirk. “If I want to make this circus entertaining, I’d have to dress like a clown and perform magic tricks. Or better yet, send you to give the speech—naked. That would definitely keep their attention.”
“Where do you get this from?” I narrowed my eyes, watching her laugh.
“Two apples didn’t fall far from the same tree,” she said with a smirk.
After our... breakfast-lunch combo, I dumped the dishes on her and went to check final exams from my 8th and 9th graders. Winter break was a week away, and I had to finalize their grades.
Stifling a yawn, I began decoding their handwriting. Some kids wrote beautifully, others… it was like a demon had possessed their pens. I lost track of time reviewing their work. My neck ached, my back throbbed, and my eyes refused to focus, but I got it done. I stretched out the stiffness and did a quick set of light exercises.
After a quick snack, it was time to head to the offices. The building wasn’t far from home, and as soon as I stepped out of the elevator, the stench of leftover booze, salami, and citrus hit me. Guess someone thought one office party wasn’t enough and had their own after-hours bash. With a week and a half still left before New Year’s, I really hoped this wouldn’t become a daily routine.
Seeing me arrive with my cleaning cart, the rowdy group quickly started packing up and disappearing. I decided to begin with the far offices, which were already empty.
Rolling my squeaky cart toward the last office, I didn’t notice someone watching me. I dunked my rag in soapy water and began mopping the tiled floor—only to feel a firm slap on my backside. I jolted, knocking over a chair with a loud crash.
Spinning around, I saw the smug, drunken face of some skinny little punk.
“Not bad,” he said, eyeing me like a piece of meat. “Up close, you’ve got hot MILF vibes.”
Excuse me?! I was only twenty-five! Was I seriously already in MILF territory?! Okay, maybe the headscarf and secondhand cleaning uniform didn’t help—but I wasn’t here on a date! Still, that stung. Deeply. At least he didn’t call me “auntie.”
“Young man,” I said, trying to keep my cool. “I believe you’re in the wrong office. Your group is two doors down, to the left.”
“Oooh, feisty,” he slurred, swaying slightly. The gleam in his eyes gave him away—a young werewolf, clearly. Just what I needed. And with a full moon glowing outside the window, too. Great.
“Don’t fight it,” he insisted. “You won’t regret it. Nothing beats the passion of a wolf.”
I almost burst out laughing in his face but held it in. I’d heard similar pickup lines before.
“Listen, kid,” I snapped, “there are women who get paid for that sort of thing. Go find one of them.”
“Aha! I got it!” he exclaimed, as if struck by divine inspiration. “I’ll pay you!”
Fueled by liquid courage and the full moon, the pup staggered toward me. But his fantasy of getting lucky died fast—thanks to my good old mop. Thank God my employers were too stingy for a modern flimsy one. I had a solid wooden stick, and with a single swing, I knocked the horny mutt out cold.
“Amateur,” I muttered, eyeing him curled up in the fetal position on the floor. Then I continued mopping the floor like nothing happened.