Chapter 8
Sienna’s Pov
The coffee shop provided enough coverage for my crowded thoughts as people came in and out and everywhere was lively.
Lila was right, this was a good distraction from thinking about my once boring life which is now the nosiest.
It’s been weeks now since I last spoke or saw Daniel. I had to keep my promise to my kids and it will be bad to against an oath I made to them.
Does it kill me that I have seen Daniel? Yes! Do I even want to talk to him? Yes! But my kids come first before my personal feelings and I wasn’t ready to lose any of them because of some dick.
“You need to call him,” Lila said, her voice sharp as she broke the silence between us.
“I told you to stop bringing him up, Lila. What we have is over. Do I have to spell it out for you?” I snapped at her.
She’s nagged for days to call him and get on with my life damning consequences but I can’t.
“You’re gonna lose a good guy because of your kids?” She asked.
“My kids are my happiness, and they always come first.” I shot back.
She sucked her teeth, and frowned her face. “This is why I never had kids. They suck the life out if you.” She retorted.
I gasped, not from the shock of her not wanting kids, I knew that but she is suggesting I give up my family for a man, and that was wrong.
“We need to stop talking about someone who’s clearly moved on.” I added.
“I’ve known you for decades and I know you are using your kids as excuses and you’re just simply scared to try new things.”
“What’s in it for you, Lila?” I demanded. “You suddenly turn to team Daniel, why?”
“He is a good man, and he is good for you, sweetheart.” She replied. Her eyes widened as if she saw someone. “I only did this for you.”
“Did what?”
“Hello, Sienna.” Daniel’s voice came from behind me.
I gasped from excitement but I couldn’t show it because I couldn’t. I cannot mess up and be laughing stock of the whole country.
I turned and looked back, seeing him in his bespoke suit that screamed luxury. His scent wrapped around me, so strong I could barely smell anything else.
I frowned my face, not showing emotions. “Why are you here?”
“That’s harsh. I thought we were friends?” He teased.
He slipped beside Lila and greeted her. They both ganged up on me and planned this whole shit, but how?
“We can’t be friends, Daniel,” I said, voice calm as I tried to hide my emotions.
“You’ve been dodging…”
“I made a promise to my kids to not see you again and I intend on keeping that promise,” I shot back, cutting him off.
Outside, I felt like a strong woman, but my inside were all twisted with mixed feelings of guilt and want. What if Lila was right? And I was making a big mistake of pushing the one man that has made me feel seen?
“I am not saying…”
“You want kids, now? Is that it?” I snapped. “You’re barely older than my kids and you want to be their step-father? Let’s face it, you’re a child and that’s all I’ll ever see you as.”
“Si!” Lila shouted.
“He needed to hear the real truth for him to snap back to reality.” I said, voice rough but shaky. I turned to Daniel who has his eyes pinned on me. “You need to get the fuck out of my life and never come back.”
He let out a smirk, mocking me and my outburst. “That’s all you got?” He asked. “Do you think I had no idea what I signed up for? I know all about you, Sienna. You know what? I won’t push this any further, so I’m going to ask a question and I need an honest answer.”
“Shoot,” I shot back.
I had to get him off my back for my kids’ sake, for Zoe’s sake. She hated me for being the reason her dad left because she felt I didn’t do much. All I had to do was be pretty, be sexy and be a good cook then her dad wouldn’t have left, but I did do all that and he still left.
We just got on good terms since the divorce and I wasn’t going to ruin it. Never!
“Do you want me or not?”
That was his question? Of course I wanted him. I still touched myself whenever i thought about him but I can’t.
“I’m sorry—,” my voice betrayed me and my eyes almost tearing up from the pain of letting him go.
“Think about this, Si,” Lila urged.
I had thought about it but how?
“I have thought about it but there is no way I am giving my kids up for him. I’d choose them over any man. The sex was great and I am grateful you helped me see that I can be sexually explored, but that’s it. Nothing more.”
“Si!” Lila screamed as her mouth was opened in amusement, like she couldn’t believe I could say those words.
To be fair I didn’t either, buy I had to let him go, and be with his mates not some cougar with expired pussy. My face showed no emotions, but I was dying on the inside—his touch, his kisses, his scent, all flooded my memory, so bad that I hated myself for telling him off.
I looked at him, and I could tell he felt defeated and stupid, that’s good. His shoulders were slouched, his facial expression was something I couldn’t quite lay my hands on, it was either anger or sadness. I didn’t care I just had to get him off my back.
“Lila must have brought you here to talk to me, so I can run into your arms and you’ll fuck me again, but I won’t swoon over a child with mommy issues, and I will not be used to satisfy your fetish or kink.” I spat out. My face was steady to show that this was what I wanted but my gut twisted inside.
He looked at me, then let out a scoff. “That’s it?”
I took in a deep breath, “I am going to say this for the last time so listen good. You are a child who’s got a good thing going so go be with your mates and not someone old enough to be your mommy. That being said, I hope this is the last time I see you around me.”
I stood up, picked my bag and left them immediately without waiting to hear his reply or anything he had to say because I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to actually tell him off.
I waited for Lila to come meet me as I stood by the door but she never did, instead I could hear her talk to Daniel.
“She didn’t mean those words, Daniel.” She said.
Of course I didn’t mean the words but I wasn’t doing this for just me cause of my kids, but for him too. I was saving him from going down the path of ridicule. He would be torn apart when they found out he was hooking up with an older woman.
“She meant every word, but it’s all good.” He added.
“Just give me a while to talk to her, and knock senses into her,” she pleaded.
“Nah, I’m done being treated like a fool.” He shot back.
Hearing those words were like a knife to my chest. He couldn’t possibly be done chasing after me? He had to chase me, and make me want him more, but he was just giving up?
My inside twisted with intense pain of knowing he was done with me, and I need to learn to accept my fate.
Not looking, and lost in thoughts, I opened the door and bumped into a stranger and my bag fell. Ashamed and not looking at the stranger, I quickly bent down to pick up my bag and apologized.
“Sorry,”
“It was my fault,” the stranger said.
I gasped, my chest tightened as my hands began trembling. I knew this voice, and how was he here?