I hate them
Amara's POV
The rest of the day blurred into a haze of pain. My tears had dried, but the ache in my chest only grew heavier with every passing second. The stares, the whispers, the laughter—it all haunted me, replaying in my mind like a broken record. Every time I thought of Ryder’s mocking voice and the way Jaxon and Caden had laughed at my misery, my hatred for them deepened.
I hated them.
I hated how they made me feel so small. How they made me feel like I didn’t belong, even after everything we’d been through. The weight of their cruelty crushed me, and all I wanted to do was disappear.
I felt dirty, humiliated. My face was sticky with tears and my throat raw from holding back sobs all day. Needing a moment of privacy, I decided to head to the girls' bathroom to wash my face and try to collect myself. Maybe if I splashed some cold water on my face, I could numb the pain—if only for a little while.
I pushed open the bathroom door and stepped inside, the cold, sterile smell of disinfectant greeting me. The fluorescent lights flickered above, casting a harsh glow on the white-tiled walls. I walked further inside, heading for the sinks, when suddenly, something made me stop dead in my tracks.
A low moan. Then another.
I froze.
My eyes darted to the far corner of the bathroom, where the stalls were. And that’s when I saw them.
Jaxon and his girlfriend, Stephanie, were wrapped around each other, locked in a passionate kiss, their hands roaming over each other like they couldn’t get enough. Jaxon’s back was against the wall, his head tipped back slightly, while Stephanie clung to him, her body pressed against his as she kissed him with a hunger that made me want to throw up.
My heart pounded in my chest. I tried to back away, hoping to leave before they noticed me, but my feet refused to move. I was stuck there, like a deer caught in headlights, unable to tear my gaze away from the scene in front of me.
Jaxon’s eyes flickered open, and he caught sight of me. For a split second, his lips stilled against Stephanie’s, his brow furrowing in confusion.
“What the hell?” he muttered, pulling back slightly.
Stephanie, noticing his distraction, turned her head and saw me standing there, rooted to the spot.
The next second, her face twisted into a snarl. “You!” she spat, pushing away from Jaxon and stepping toward me, her eyes flashing with rage. “What the hell are you doing here, you bitch?”
“I-I…” I stammered, my voice barely a whisper as I took a shaky step back, my heart hammering in my chest. “I didn’t mean to—”
“You didn’t mean to what?” Stephanie snapped, cutting me off as she stormed toward me, her heels clicking loudly against the tiled floor. “Spy on us? Are you some kind of freak?” She let out a harsh, mocking laugh. “Of course, you are. Always hanging around these guys, thinking you're so special. You’re pathetic.”
I felt the blood drain from my face as her words struck me like a slap. I hadn’t meant to see them—hadn’t even known they were there—but now I was trapped, and the last thing I wanted was to be anywhere near Jaxon or his cruel girlfriend.
Jaxon stepped forward, his expression dark and unreadable as he moved to stand beside Stephanie. “What are you doing here, Amara?” he asked, his voice low and dangerous, his eyes boring into mine. There was none of the playful teasing from earlier, no trace of the boy who had fought by my side in the forest. Now, he was just cold.
“I—I didn’t know you were here,” I managed to say, my voice trembling as I tried to back away, but before I could take another step, Jaxon closed the distance between us, his hand shooting out to grab my arm.
I winced as his fingers dug into my skin, his grip tight and unrelenting. “Liar,” he hissed, his face inches from mine. “You’ve been watching us, haven’t you? You can’t get enough, can you?”
“No! I swear, I didn’t—”
Before I could finish, Stephanie’s hand lashed out, her palm connecting with my cheek in a sharp, stinging slap that echoed in the bathroom. My head snapped to the side, my cheek burning from the impact.
“Stay the hell away from him, freak!” she screamed, her eyes wild with jealousy and anger. “You think because you hang around with them, you’re better than the rest of us? You’re nothing! NOTHING!”
I staggered back, my vision blurring with the force of the slap and the tears that immediately welled up in my eyes. I felt humiliated all over again, my face stinging both from the slap and from the shame of being caught in such a vulnerable position.
“Stephanie,” Jaxon said, his voice low but firm. “Enough.”
But Stephanie wasn’t done. She turned to Jaxon, her face still twisted with anger. “Why do you even let her hang around? She’s disgusting. Always lurking. Are you into her or something? Is that it?”
Jaxon’s jaw tightened, and for a moment, I saw a flicker of something in his eyes. Guilt, maybe. Or regret. But it was gone as quickly as it appeared.
“No,” he said flatly, his grip on my arm tightening slightly before he shoved me away, making me stumble backward. “She’s nothing to me.”
Those words. Those awful, cutting words sliced through me like a knife.
Nothing to me.
I felt the weight of his rejection like a physical blow, my breath catching in my throat as the tears I had been trying so hard to hold back finally spilled over. I turned on my heel, running out of the bathroom as fast as I could, not caring where I was going—just needing to get away from them, from the humiliation, from the pain.
Behind me, I could still hear Stephanie’s mocking laughter ringing in my ears, and Jaxon’s silence was even worse.
I didn’t stop running until I was outside, the cool air hitting my tear-streaked face as I gasped for breath, my heart breaking with every step. I collapsed against the side of the building, my knees giving out as I sank to the ground, my sobs shaking my body.
How could they be so cruel? How could he be so cruel?
I hated them. All of them.
I hated how they made me feel so powerless, so small. But most of all, I hated that even after everything, even after Jaxon’s cold words and Stephanie’s slap, there was still a part of me that cared.
That part of me—the part that longed for their approval, their attention—was what hurt the most.
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Jaxon's POV
I stood there, staring at the bathroom door long after Amara had run out, my heart pounding in my chest for reasons I didn’t fully understand. Stephanie was still ranting, pacing back and forth, her voice high and shrill as she continued to spew insults about Amara, but I wasn’t really listening.
The look on Amara’s face when I told her she was nothing to me—it haunted me.
I hadn’t meant it.
But it was easier to say the words than to admit the truth. Easier to pretend I didn’t care than to deal with the confusing mess of emotions swirling inside me whenever she was around.
“Are you even listening to me?” Stephanie snapped, stopping in front of me, her hands on her hips. “She’s obsessed with you, Jaxon. You need to get rid of her.”
I forced myself to focus, nodding absently even though my mind was still on Amara. “Yeah, I’ll take care of it.”
Stephanie narrowed her eyes at me, suspicion clouding her features. “You better. I don’t want to see her around you ever again.”
She didn’t wait for me to respond before storming out of the bathroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I had messed up. Again. And the worst part was, I couldn’t stop thinking about the way Amara’s eyes had filled with tears, the way her body had trembled when Stephanie
slapped her.
I had hurt her. We had hurt her.
And I wasn’t sure I could forgive myself for it.