Two steps ahead
Rex
I slammed my apartment door and immediately punched the wall.
Hard.
“Fuck!” Pain shot through my knuckles, but I didn’t care. I grabbed the lamp from my side table and threw it across the room. It shattered against the wall, pieces of ceramic scattered everywhere.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I yelled at myself, pulling at my hair. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Rex?”
I kicked my coffee table, and it flipped over. All my files scattered everywhere. My eyes landed on the picture frame of my parents on the shelf. They could have been here if not for him.
“He killed them.” I dropped to my knees and picked up the photo of my mom and dad. They had peaceful smiles on their faces. They were happy. “He killed them, and I let him—”
I couldn’t even finish the sentence. My hands were still shaking, and I could still feel the ghost of his touch on my skin. The way he’d whispered in my ear, the way his body had pressed against mine.
“You’re disgusting.” I threw the photo down and stood up. “You’re a fucking disgrace.”
I walked to the bathroom and turned on the cold water, splashing it on my face. But when I looked in the mirror, I could still see him behind me. Could still hear his voice.
I could feel his touch on my skin, how my body reacted to his calloused hands. It almost felt like he was still here.
So traumatic, I couldn’t get it out of my head.
“Look how pretty you are like this.” I could still hear his voice next to my ears. He had made me look at myself, saw my reflection, how I looked like betraying my parents.
“Shut up!” I punched the mirror, and it cracked. Blood dripped from my knuckles, but I didn’t care.
My phone rang from the living room. Shit. I wiped my face with a towel and used the same towel to wrap around my bleeding knuckles.
Captain Fernando.
“Shit.” I wiped my face again and answered. “Hello?”
“Rex, how’s everything going? Any updates?” His voice was hopeful, almost as if he was excited.
“I—” My voice cracked. “Nothing yet, Captain.”
“You sound strange. Everything okay? You sound like you’ve been running or something.”
“Yeah, just tired.” I cleared my throat and tried to sound normal. I didn’t want him to know anything was wrong. “These people are smart, it’s gonna take time.”
“What do you mean smart? Have you gotten close to Sinclair yet?”
Close. If only he knew how close.
Only now did it occur to me that he had called me detective. He knew that I was a detective, but he didn’t come at me. He didn’t try to kill me, even pleasured me.
“I’m his personal guard now.” The words felt like ash in my mouth after what I’ve just done.
“That’s fantastic! Rex, this is exactly what we needed. You’re in the perfect position now.”
“Yeah, perfect.” I sat down on my couch and put my head in my hands.
“I hope you’re not planning to back out on me, Rex. This is our only shot at bringing him down. We cannot quit now.”
“Never.” The word came out harder than I meant it to. “I’m going to do everything possible to bring down Dante Sinclair.”
But what if he had other plans for me?
“That’s what I like to hear. Remember, Rex, these people killed your parents. They destroyed your family. Don’t let them get in your head.”
Too late for that.
“I won’t let them win, Captain.”
“Good. Keep me posted. And Rex? Be careful. These people are dangerous.”
“I know.”
The line went dead. I threw my phone on the couch and walked to the kitchen. My hands were still shaking as I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge.
I drank the whole thing in one go, then slammed the empty bottle on the counter. It made a loud crack, but didn’t break.
“Think, Rex. Think.” I paced around my destroyed living room, stepping over broken glass. “You gotta be smarter than this.”
I stopped in front of the mirror in my hallway. My reflection looked like shit. But there was still a flush on my cheeks from what happened in that bathroom.
“New plan.” I pointed at myself. “Stay away from him. Do your job, but keep your distance. No more personal guard bullshit.”
But even as I said it, I knew it was impossible. He was my assignment. He was the key to everything. Despite what occurred between us, I had to ignore him.
“Control your fucking libido, Rex. He’s a murderer, not some guy from a bar.” I took a deep breath. “You can do this. You have to do this.”
I returned to the living room and started picking up the papers that had fallen down. The mess I made was going to be cleaned by me. As I placed everything back on the table, my eyes flitted to the picture frame.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m sorry, Dad.” I kissed their picture. “I won’t let him mess with my head again.”
But even as I said it, I could still feel his hands on me. Could still hear his voice in my ear calling me baby, telling me how pretty I looked.
“Fuck.” I sat down on the floor surrounded by the photos. “How did this get so complicated?”
More than that, how was I going to handle the fact that he knows I’m a cop? How did he even find out I was a cop?
I had honestly thought he was deep asleep. Perhaps I should’ve waited and not dived into finding any proof against him. I’m new, my steps were supposed to be cautious and subtle.
This had been rash and stupid.
However, seeing as he did not try to kill me and only did such a thing to me, there was a possibility that he had other plans for me.
I have to keep my head in the game. I have to focus on the task at hand.
I just have to be smarter than him. Two steps ahead.