Chapter 15
Chapter 15
I let out a tired sigh after I closed the door softly behind me, happy that Claire had gone to sleep without too much fuss. Hopefully, it stays that way. I sneak downstairs with the baby monitor in my hand, afraid that any little noise might wake her up.
I'm looking forward to relax on the couch with a cup of tea and a good book. It's been ages since I've been able to take the time to do that. I put the baby monitor on the side table and walk to the bookcase. Beth has a large collection of books that her guests can use without obligation. I let my gaze slide over the books, looking for a title that captures my interest. A few times, I pick up a book, but after reading the blurb, I put it back.
"Hey, how was your day today?" I drop the book from my hands in fright, I didn't hear Bruce come in.
"I didn't know I was that scary." He jokes, looking at me with a fake hurt look. "Well, now you know," I answer and put the book I dropped back on the shelf.
“I didn't know you liked reading.” He notes and nods towards the cupboard. Before i know it I say, "There's more you don't know about me." I hold my breath as he slowly walks towards me.
I meet his gaze, and I see a defiant twinkle in his eye.
Images of his bare torso flash through my mind. A crooked grin appears on his face when he sees my cheeks turn red. For a moment, I think he wants to close the small distance between us, but then someone clears his throat. Startled, we both take a step back. Beth stands in the doorway, I keep my eyes on the floor.
Despite our conversation yesterday, I’m afraid to look at her.
"I didn't mean to disturb you." She says, and after a moment of silence, "I wanted to ask if I could get you something." I slowly raise my head and look at her. I expected a disapproving look, but I am greeted with a friendly face. "Uhm, thanks. Tea would be nice." I stammer.
With a smile, she turns around again and walks to the kitchen. I look at Bruce uncomfortably. The tension of a moment ago has disappeared and has been replaced by an awkward silence.
"So, did you have any plans for tonight?" Bruce asks, breaking the silence. I point to the bookcase. "Not much. Claire is sleeping. I just wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet." I answer with a small smile.
"Well, in that case, I'll pretend I'm not here." He answers with a smile. "Oh, you don't have to. What did you come to do anyway?" I ask. "To see if you wanted company." He answers with a shrug.
My heart unexpectedly jumps at his answer, and I have to fight not to smile broadly. Maybe I have more feelings for him than I care to admit.
Once again, I feel a pang of guilt in my chest. I think back to Beth's words and push the guilt aside. I can't control my feelings, and I know Brent would want me to move on, to be happy. So I could be a good mother to Claire.
"Lilly?" Bruce's voice pulls me out of my train of thought. "Are you okay?" He steps hesitantly closer, and I smile.
"Yeah, I think so," I answer hesitantly.
"You think you're okay?" He asks, a little confused and laughing. I walk silently to the couch and sit down with a sigh.
He sits down next to me and gently takes my hand. "I don't mean to push." He says, I keep my gaze on his hand that rests on mine as I think about how to put my feelings and thoughts into words without coming across as a hopeless case. He gives my hand an encouraging squeeze.
"Yesterday," I say, but I stop talking again because I don't really know what to start with. "It was nice to get out for a bit." As I say it, I think about my next words. Bruce waits patiently for me to continue. "And what you said yesterday, you're right. There's a certain... tension between us." A smile appears on his face, which I return with a cautious smile.
"But," I continue, "I don't know if I can commit myself to someone like that again. If I can give you what you deserve." I try to swallow the rising lump in my throat and take a deep breath to push back the tears I feel welling up.
"That's okay." He puts his arm around me and pulls me close. "I get it. You need time. Take all the time you need." He says understandingly. "Just so you know. I have no intention of replacing Brent. I know I can't. No one can." He says softly.
"Thanks," I mumble and snuggle a little closer to him. He gently rubs my arm.
"Can I come in yet?" Beth calls from the kitchen, and I chuckle. "Yes, Mom, it's safe," Bruce calls back, laughing.
"I didn't mean to interrupt your moment," Beth says with a smile as she enters the room a few seconds later with a tray in her hands. "It's okay," I say with a smile and take a cup of tea from the tray.
The rest of the evening, we chat a bit about the past few days, and the days to come. Then Bruce gets a call.
"Alpha Dex," Bruce says when he answers. I look at him curiously. If he's getting a call at this hour, it must be important. "Yes, I'm at the B&B. She's sitting next to me." I prick up my ears, curious as to why he's asking for me.
I can't quite make out, but it seems to be about our appointment that was supposed to take place next week. The thought that I have to have an official meeting with him makes me nervous again. Bruce notices and squeezes my hand gently. I'm glad he promised to come along.
"Tomorrow? I'll ask." I look at him with wide eyes. "Alpha Dex would like to talk to you tomorrow afternoon. Is that okay?" Bruce asks. "Uhm, I think so?" I answer hesitantly. Luckily, I don't have to work at the daycare tomorrow. I agreed with Lucy that I'll start with 3 days, starting next week. I think that's the maximum to start with for now. Claire needs her rest, too.
I vaguely hear Bruce setting up a time with Dex. But in my mind I’m already thinking about tomorrow. Even though everyone has assured me that Dex isn’t that bad and that I don’t have to worry, I do. Worried that I’ll say or do the wrong thing. Or worse, if he thinks my family is a threat to his pack. Because I know one thing for sure, there will come a time when my family will find me. Hopefully, that day will be long, and I can convince Dex to at least protect Claire from them.
I've done everything I can to make it look like we've disappeared off the face of the earth. But I know my family, or at least my father. They'll find a way to find me.
“I can watch Claire while you guys go to the pack house tomorrow?" Beth offers after Bruce hangs up. I want to accept her offer, but Bruce says "He wants her to take Claire." I look at him, surprised. "What? Why?" I ask, and he shrugs.
"I don't know. Probably just to get to know you guys." He answers.
"Why didn't he tell me last time?" I ask, still a little suspicious, and he shrugs. "Because you work at the daycare now, and she goes there too? I don't know, it's probably nothing."
I seem to worry more about it than he does. When he sees that I'm not entirely convinced, he puts his arm around me again and pulls me close. "Don't worry, I'm still here for moral support." He assures me.
I try to do as Bruce says and not worry too much. That’s easier said than done. I keep wondering why he suddenly wants Claire to come with me. Is he going to judge whether I’m a good mother to a child of their kind? Although the thought keeps running through my head, I don’t think that’s the reason. Although, maybe that’s also why he showed up at the daycare twice for no real reason.
That might explain the intense look he gave me yesterday. The more I think about it, the heavier the feeling in my stomach becomes. I do my best to hide my anxiety, but it's no use. Bruce puts his arm around me reassuringly.
"Please don't worry so much. It's just a formality. I'm coming with you. And in case I'm wrong, which I'm not, I'll protect you and little Claire." He pulls me closer and kisses the side of my head.