Chapter 5 I trust you
Grace
My hands are fucking trembling as I follow Ethan through the doorway. I want to bolt back to my sterile apartment and familiar textbooks, but Mercy is howling inside me, desperate to help our mate.
Our mate. I've spent years building walls between myself and Pack life, and now they're crumbling in minutes.
Here I am, following an Alpha I met hours ago because something primal won't let me abandon him.
"I'm assuming you want to do this now, Alpha?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.
"Yes, the sooner the better." Those forest-green eyes never leave mine, intense and unflinching.
"Okay." I list the items needed. "And we'll need to sedate you."
"No," Ethan says firmly.
"No sedation? Okay then, a nerve block—"
"No," he says again.
"Alpha, please. I'm going to scrub your leg clean, cut it open, pin back skin and muscle to reset the bones. The pain will be excruciating."
"No," he repeats, holding my gaze with intensity.
I look away, muttering "So arrogant" under my breath. When I look back, he's watching me with a raised eyebrow. Shit. I've been around humans who can't hear whispers too long.
Dr. Richards barges in, throwing the requested items onto the tray with a clatter.
"Will there be anything else, doctor?" Richards asks, making my title sound filthy.
"No. I'll take it from here." I don't bother looking at him.
I scrub my hands, anxiety gnawing at me. What if I fail? What if I can't save his leg? The thought of disappointing him makes my chest tighten in a way I don't understand.
"You're thinking so hard there's steam coming from your ears. What are you worried about?" Ethan asks, his voice softer than before.
Is this the mate bond already forming? The thought terrifies me.
"This will be extremely painful. Can I at least give you a local anesthetic?"
"No, I need to be alert to protect my pack."
"You can't exactly protect your pack with only one leg, Alpha," I snap.
"Ethan. Call me Ethan. And you said you could save my leg."
"I can, IF you're sedated and not flinching while I'm digging around in your muscle."
"I have a very high tolerance to pain."
That doesn't surprise me. He wasn't even whimpering when we found him in that silver snare. My eyes trace the faint scars across his torso—evidence of many battles.
Focus, Grace. He's a patient right now, not a man. Not your mate. Just a patient with a leg that needs saving.
"How strong is your wolf right now?" I ask, prepping his leg.
I am very strong, little one, a deeper voice answers, and Mercy begins purring in my head.
I shake my head and try to focus, desperately ignoring his intoxicating amber scent.
"If I hold the bones in place, how long to set them?"
Not long, little one, he purrs. I am a very strong, powerful Alpha wolf.
"Talk to me," he says through gritted teeth as I start cleaning the wound.
"About what?"
"You know what you are to me," he states.
"Yes. After you've healed, you can reject me." I don't know why that thought hurts so much.
"Who says I'm rejecting you?" he asks, sounding offended.
"But I'm a lone wolf."
"What you are is my future Luna."
"You don't even know me," I counter, heat rising to my face.
"I know you're intelligent, compassionate, brave, and lonely."
"Why do you say I'm lonely?" I ask, lifting the scalpel. He nods, bracing himself.
"Princeton Medical School is an hour north. You could run anywhere as a lone wolf, yet you chose an area full of wolves."
He's right. Mercy misses pack life. I'd be fine alone, but my wolf needs the forest and pack scents.
He sees through me so easily. It's terrifying.
Ethan hisses as I slice into his leg. His knuckles turn white as he grips the table, but he doesn't move an inch.
"How the hell do you manage this pain?" I ask, genuinely impressed.
"Mind over matter. My mind is stronger than my body, and my body is very strong."
"You've been fighting long?" I ask, exposing the broken bones. They're worse than I thought - jagged fragments that will need precise alignment.
"Since becoming Alpha, twelve years ago."
"Twelve years?" He's older than I thought.
"I took over at eighteen. I'm thirty now."
"Well, Shadow is an Alpha wolf," I say, carefully positioning the first bone fragment. "Okay, Shadow, show me what you've got." I watch in amazement as the bone begins healing before my eyes once I've aligned it.
"Cool!" I exclaim. I've worked with humans so long I forgot how quickly wolves heal.
"Is it that exciting?" Ethan asks dryly, sweat beading on his forehead despite his controlled breathing.
"It is for me." My fingers work quickly, moving to the next fragment.
"Then it must be my lucky day," he smiles just as someone pounds on the door.
"Come in, Jackson."
"Alpha... what the fuck are you doing in here?" Jackson asks angrily, rushing to the table.
"Saving his leg," I answer without looking up, my focus unwavering.
"She's a doctor, Jackson," Ethan says calmly.
"A 'student' doctor," Jackson corrects. "Alpha, Dr. Richards said this leg needs amputation. We should wait for him to—"
"Dr. Richards is wrong," I interrupt, aligning another bone fragment. "And I've completed more surgeries than most residents. I can save his leg."
"And if you're wrong?" Jackson challenges, moving closer. "If you cripple our Alpha permanently?"
His doubt stings more than it should. I've been proving myself, but this feels different. More personal.
I meet his gaze steadily. "I won't be wrong."
"She's not just any doctor," Ethan interjects, his voice commanding. "She's my mate."
The room goes silent. Jackson's face hardens, jaw clenching. "If you hurt him—"
"The only one delaying his healing right now is you," I snap. "Every minute we waste arguing is another minute he's in pain. So make your choice, Beta."
The air crackles with tension as we lock eyes. Behind him, the door swings open, revealing Dr. Richards with a bone saw.
"I see the amateur is still playing doctor," he sneers. "When you're finished mangling our Alpha, I'll be ready to perform a proper amputation."
"Get out!" I snarl, surprising myself with the ferocity in my voice. "I've aligned three fragments already and they're healing."
"Impossible," Dr. Richards mutters, moving closer.
Ethan's growl fills the room, making everyone freeze. "Jackson, escort Dr. Richards out. Now."
"But Alpha—" Jackson starts.
"NOW!"
"Yes, Alpha," Jackson grabs Richards by the arm. "Let's go, doc."
I don't look up as they leave, my hands steady now despite the tension. Ethan's eyes find mine, something unspoken passing between us.
"You're doing fine," he murmurs. "I trust you."
No one's trusted me like this in a long time.
Don't get attached, I remind myself. This is just biology and proximity.
But I can't help wondering what it would be like to belong somewhere again. To have someone believe in me the way he does, when he barely knows me.
Focus on the surgery, Grace. Not on the way his eyes make your heart race. Not on the way Mercy purrs at his scent. Just fix his leg, and worry about the rest later.
But even as I think it, I know it's already too late. Something fundamental has shifted between us, and I'm terrified of what comes next.