Chapter 18
Rhea PoV
What did I just do? I wanted to stop, to make him get off me, but I couldn’t, it felt too good, and I had denied myself for long enough. It’s about time I get something good out of this life, even if it means having sex with the enemy. Part of me believes that I should have hated the way he touched me, but how can I when it felt so fucking amazing? The way he made me cum was above and beyond anything I can give to myself, and by the moon goddess, I really needed it.
Perhaps I’m selfish, taking what I want and finding nothing in return, but who the fuck cares? I wanted it, and I had it. There’s nothing else to be said about it.
Gabriel has gone back to my old room to get me some clothes from the closet, he says he’ll bring all I need from there later today. But why? Why won’t he let me return to the room he gave me?
He said we’d never truly be a real husband and wife, so why the sudden chance of heart?
Perhaps he feels guilty for what happened last night, but who was that vampire? And why did he want me dead?
I’m no one of importance, I own no land, my family name isn’t even well known, we come from a small pack on the west side of the island. Sure, my father played a role in the rebellion, but he’s made up for that by signing the treaty of peace. Isn’t that enough?
I almost scoff, of course it isn’t enough, these creatures don’t believe in second chances, they never have. There have always been those who disagreed with the peace treaty. Who didn’t want it. Is it them who have finally come forward? Do the vampires have their own rebellion brewing behind the scenes?
I want to know more, but will Gabriel tell me?
I suppose there’s only one way to find out, I’ll have to ask him. And I will, when the time is right.
I climb out of bed, not wanting to just sit there and wait for Gabriel to return. I’ll take a shower, that’ll make me feel better. Even if it’s only a little, and besides, after what he did to me, I need to wash myself. I’m sticky.
I head into his bathroom, fighting the urge to look around at his possessions, is he a private person? What kind of things does he like?
Goddess, I want to know more about the man I am being forced to marry. I want to know everything there is to know, all his secrets that he hides away from the world.
I quickly turn on the shower and strip out of my dirty clothes, leaving them on the floor.
The last time I got out of bed without permission, Gabriel fed from me, but I don’t think he would do that now. We made a deal. He promised.
Would he break that promise?
I doubt it, he seems like the sort of man to keep his word, honourable? Is that the word I’m looking for?
“You can’t seriously be beginning to trust him, he’s a vampire!” My wolf shouts, growling at me.
“He isn’t so bad once you get to know him.” I argue.
She growls again. “You are delusional if you think it could ever work between the two of you, he’s undead, you are a daughter of the moon. You don’t go together.”
“It isn’t like I have a choice, Alora.” I sigh. “The choice was made for me a long time ago, before I was even born.”
“Then change it.” She begs; “you don’t have to stay here. We could run.”
“Where would we go?”
“I don’t know.” She whispers, retreating back into the furthest reaches of my mind.
She’ll come if I need her, but for someone who is supposed to be a part of my soul, we don’t always see eye to eye. Is that normal? Does everyone have some sort of trouble connecting with their wolf, or is it just those who are sent to live with the vampires?
If I ran, I’d live in exile, forever banished, I have nowhere I can go. No money, no way of supporting myself. And what about all the monsters that live out in the woods? I’d be dead in a second.
I’d never make it on my own.
I hear the bedroom door open just as I am finishing washing my hair, and I can almost sense the mood the king is in. It’s like he’s content. He’s not worried that I’ll run anymore.
And he’s right not to be worried, I’m not going anywhere, not so long as he keeps his promise not to feed on me.
“Rhea?” He calls through the door, “I order breakfast. Are you almost done?”
The old him would have broken down the door and demanded that I get out of the shower.
Maybe it isn’t just me who is changing.
“I’ll be out in a moment!” I shout back, quickly wringing out my hair.
I climb out and turn the shower off, part of me wondering if Gabriel would have joined me if I asked him. But I quickly pushed those thoughts away, I’m not ready for that. No where near.
I open the bathroom door, surprised to see Gabriel standing there with a wool dress draped over his arm.
“Hey.” I whisper, smiling shyly.
How come I didn’t realise before how good looking he was? It should be a sin to be that handsome. And those cheekbones are to die for.
He’s beautiful, for a vampire.
“I didn’t know if you would need help getting dry.” He says, suddenly looking unsure. “I can leave if you want me to, just say the word.”
I take his hand. “I don’t want you to leave.”
He guides me towards the bed, and now that he’s mentioned it, I do feel weaker than normal, perhaps it is an after affect of the shift, or maybe it’s because I’m still weak from the time I spent in the dungeon. I don’t know for certain. But I do know that I need to get stronger.
I won’t be a damsel in distress forever.
“Here.” Gabriel says softly. “Let me help you.”
He gets down on his knees and takes the towel from around me, drying me with gentle hands.
I never noticed how soft his hands were before, and I never knew he could be this gentle. He’s a big man, not small by any meaning of the word. He’s strong. He has to be with how old he is, and I know he’s fast, when I ran he caught me so easily. He didn’t even break a sweat.
He could snap me in half before I could ever hope to stop him, and yet he is treating me with such gentleness that it melts the ice around my heart, just a little.
“There.” He says, kissing my hip bone. “All dry, now let’s get you dressed, your breakfast should be ready by now.”
I nod, trying to smile, but I fail. Why do I feel like all this is fake? I feel as though I am in a dream that I can’t wake up from, but when I do, he’ll be back to draining me of blood and locking me back in the dark.
If this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up.
I’ll happily stay asleep forever.