Chapter 12
Rhea pov
Gabriel smiles, a pure sort of smile, one that made me look at him twice. He was handsome, and I guess part of me is grateful that he is, but he was also terrifying in a way that I couldn’t describe. He sent fear and excitement rushing through me all at once, and it made my head spin, and my knees weak. It was such a strange feeling.
Was I really meant to be his? Is this the life I was always destined to have?
I look down at the oversized sweater and leggings, suddenly feeling underdressed next to Gabriel’s immaculate suit. He looked amazing, and I look like a tortured mouse, bruised and broken.
My hair was knotted, and my clothes barely fit after I had lost so much weight over the past couple of weeks. I was merely a shell of who I used to be.
But I’ll get the strong and fearless girl back, I have to, I need her now more than ever. I need my confidence and my ability to see through the bad and search for the good.
“Gabriel….” I murmur, my eyes cast towards the darkening sky outside of the window, “will you help me change?” I ask, “I would like to look nice for dinner.”
He watches me for several seconds, as though trying to figure out if my asking was some sort of trap. But it wasn’t. I just needed help, and he was the only one who would do it. I knew that for certain. Especially seen as no other vampires but the Beta were allowed to be alone with me.
He stands, holding out his hand, “of course, come, we don’t have long to get you ready.”
The softness of his voice threw me off, my eyes wide as I take his outstretched hand, my heart fluttering strangely inside of my chest.
Gabriel walks me into the wardrobe and towards the thick winter dresses, picking out a soft pale green one and passing it to me.
“Would this one be suitable?” He asks, placing it against me and gently showing me the softness of the material. “It’ll cover all of the bruises if that is what you wish.”
I nod my head, “yeah, it’s fine.”
I can’t quite get the words to ring true, there is a sadness in my voice that I can’t stop. Why do all the colours have to be dull and dark? There are only a few lighter ones and they are greens and blues.
Gabriel glances at the dress again, confused by my sadness, “what is wrong with it?”
“Nothing.” I say a little too quickly, wincing at the panic in my voice.
He raises an eyebrow, not believing me for a second, “I don’t tolerate anyone lying to me, Rhea, just tell me what is wrong with it.”
“I just..” I shake my head, frowning, “I like brighter colours, yellow is my favourite, my whole bedroom was decorated yellow back home.”
Gabriel glance around the room, eyeing every single piece of clothing, “wear the green dress, it’s brighter than anything else in here, and I’ll have someone completely change the entire wardrobe whilst we are out for dinner.”
My eyes widen in shock, “yo-you don’t have to do that, it’s fine.”
He takes my hands in his, kneeling down so we are almost the same height, “if I can do anything to make your time here easier then I will, so long as you promise to obey me.”
I smile a little for the first time in what feels like years, “Okay.” I whisper, “I can agree to that.. but can I ask something else?”
He eyes me suspiciously, “Go on.”
“Could you not feed on me for a while?” Panic laces my voice, “I don’t mean forever I just… I need to get my strength back ready for the full moon.”
“Ah yes.” He nods, deep in thought, “you are due to shift in just under two weeks, I completely forgot.” He pushes some stray hairs away from my face, “I won’t feed on you, not unless I have no other choice.”
So not unless I make him because of my behaviour, that is what he means.
I have to behave, even if I don’t want to. If I want to survive, I have to tread carefully over the next few weeks. Along as he doesn’t find out I have already shifted then everything should be ok. I hope.
Gabriel helps me into the dress, a pure gentleman as he avoids looking at anywhere I didn’t want his eyes. It was refreshing to know he won’t take me against my will. He’ll wait until I’m ready, if that day ever comes.
I know that I am supposed to carry his child, but I’m not sure I can bring myself to do it, I wanted a wolf shifter as a pup, not a half vampire. Or a full vampire. You never know how the child will turn out.
I just hope it doesn’t have to be soon. I’m not ready for kids, not even a little.
“What’s on your mind, wolf?” He asks, adjusting the dress by the shoulders.
I clear my throat, nervously glancing down at my hands, “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to give you children soon.” I panic a little at the look in his eyes, “I’m not saying that I never will, I just don’t think I’m ready to be a mother.”
He stares at me, and I know he’s angry, I can sense it. But he doesn’t snap at me, he doesn’t bite me. He doesn’t even shout and call me a filthy mutt.
Instead, he smiles, “I don’t expect you to get pregnant in the first year of marriage, I am happy to wait until you are ready. If you follow my rules.”
Relief floods through me faster than I can comprehend, and before I can stop to think, I lean on my tip toes and kiss Gabriel’s cheek, his skin soft under my lips.
Gabriel grabs my arms to stop me from falling, I’m still weak, and he knows it. He doesn’t kiss me back, he doesn’t even acknowledge that I kissed him. Do I want him to? Maybe. It was the first step to try and trust him, the first step to change the way that things are. I don’t want to be a prisoner forever. I’d like to move around freely one day, when I have gained his trust.
But if I am to gain his trust, should I tell him about Alora? Should I tell him about how I shifted early and my wolf is yellow?
Maybe not, not yet. One day perhaps, but not right now.
Time for dinner.