Introduction
夫である佐藤隆一は無情にそう言い放った。
緘黙症を患う私は、何も言わずに離婚届にサインをした。
「おい、本当に離婚するのか?」と、隆一の友人が尋ねる。
「大丈夫だ。一ヶ月もしないうちに、あいつは俺の元に戻ってくるさ。俺から離れられるわけがない。だって、あいつは声も出せないんだからな」
彼らの会話を、私は黙って聞いていた。
その時、スマートフォンに一通のメッセージが届く。
『京都に旅行でもどう? 気分転換しに』
この瞬間から、私の人生は違う軌道を描き始めた。
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About Author

渡り雨
Chapter 1
目の前に置かれた、一枚の紙。離婚協議書、という冷たい活字が、やけにはっきりと見えた。
夫である佐藤隆一が、まるで芸術品にサインでもするかのような優雅な手つきで万年筆を滑らせ、こちらへ差し出す。
「ただの芝居だ、桜」
彼の声は、子供をあやすように甘い。
「一ヶ月もすれば、あの女とも終わる。そうしたら、また籍を入れよう。な? 医者も言ってたじゃないか、君の病気はもうすぐ良くなるって。だからこれは、いい休養になる」
差し出されたモンブランの万年筆が、ずしりと重い。まるで、小さなナイフのようだった。佐藤グループの最上階。陽光を反射するガラス張りの会議室は、目を灼くほどに白く、眩しかった。
まただ。喉の奥に見えない何かが詰まって、息が苦しくなる。何か言わなければ。そう思うほどに、声帯は氷のように固く凍りついていく。
俯いたまま、震える指で自分の名前を書き記す。佐藤桜。そして、旧姓の宮本桜に戻る、という欄に、静かに丸をつけた。
会議室を出ようとした時、背後から佐藤隆一の友人である中島の、からかうような声が聞こえた。
「しかし隆一、お前の奥さん、本当におとなしいな。何も聞かずにサインするなんて」
隆一は軽く笑った。
「いつものことさ」
彼は中島の方を向き、声を潜める。
「なあ、賭けをしないか。一ヶ月後、桜は泣きながら俺に戻ってきてくれって言う。絶対にだ」
「そりゃ簡単すぎる賭けだな」
中島が下卑た笑い声を上げた。
「お前に逆らうなんて、あの人形みたいな女にできるわけがない」
私は俯いたままスマートフォンを取り出すと、新着メッセージが届いていた。画面には『本当に、京都に来るのか?』と表示されている。
私は、震える指で『はい』とだけ打ち込んだ。
『本当か?』
すぐに返信が来た。
背後では、まるで私がショーウィンドウに飾られた値札のない商品であるかのように、会話が続いている。
「賭けの期限は一ヶ月後だ」
隆一が言った。
「もし桜が本当に戻ってこなかったら、とっておきのラフィットを開けてやるよ」
「決まりだな」
中島が満足そうに応じた。
佐藤グループのガラス張りのビルを出ると、真昼の陽光が目を刺した。
堰を切ったように、涙が溢れ出す。
先週、私は隆一が会社のインターン生と恋に落ちたことを知ってしまった。大学を卒業したばかりのその子は私より十歳も若く、彼が買い与えた高級マンションに住んでいる。私がメッセージで問いただすと、その子から返信があった。
『不倫相手になるのは嫌です。佐藤さん、彼女を〝解決〟してください』
これで、三度目だった。
一度目は、友人たちとの食事会。隆一は私を隣に座らせ、腕を回し、これみよがしに写真を撮った。そして、私の見ていないところでインスタグラムに投稿するのだ。『特定の人のみ閲覧可』という姑息な設定で。添えられたキャプションは、たった一言。
『玩具』
二度目は、佐藤家のパーティ。大勢の前で、彼はわざと私に意見を求めた。強いストレス下で声が出なくなる私の病気を、彼は誰よりもよく知っているのに。人々が訝しげに私を見る中、彼は私の戸惑う顔をスマホで撮り、愛人に送っていた。
『ほらな。病気なんだよ、こいつ』
そして、これが三度目。あの若いインターンのために仕組まれた、茶番の離婚劇。
隆一は、それに同意した。
ポケットの中で、スマートフォンがぶるりと震える。立て続けにメッセージが届いた。
『本当に決めたんだな?』
『何か手伝うことはあるか?』
私は涙を拭い、『もう決めた』と返信した。
午後、隆一の運転で区役所へ向かった。
離婚届を出しに行くというのに、彼はまるでドライブデートでも楽しむかのように、上機嫌で鼻歌を歌っている。
「来月は、俺たちの結婚記念日だな。三周年か」
彼が不意に言った。
「京都に行きたいって言ってたろ? あっちでやり直すのもいい」
彼はちらりとこちらを見ると、私の腫れた目に気づいて、わざとらしく溜め息をついた。
「泣くなよ、桜。ただの形式だって言ってるだろ。数ヶ月で終わることだ」
彼のスマートフォンが、シートの隙間に滑り落ちた。光る画面。待ち受けになっていたのは、彼とあのインターン生が寄り添う写真だった。
彼は慌てるでもなくスマホを拾い上げ、謝罪の一言もない。まるで、そこに私が存在しないかのように。
「ご自身の意思で、間違いありませんか」
担当者の問いに、私は頷くことしかできない。声が、出ない。喉が鉛で塞がれたようだ。
役所を出ると、隆一はすぐに離婚届受理証明書の写真を撮り、愛人に送った。
『迎えに行く準備はできたか?』
メッセージには、そんな言葉が添えられていた。
私は黙って空を見上げた。
本当に、終わったのだ。
スマートフォンが震える。新幹線のチケット予約確認メールだった。
続いて、『無声の友』と名付けられたアプリから、メッセージが届いた。
『京都で会おう』
見上げた東京の空は、皮肉なほど青く澄み渡っていた。全てを捨てた今、不思議と心は凪いでいた。長い悪夢が、ようやく終わるのだ。
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渡り雨
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