Chapter 76

Helen POV

I finally had enough of watching Justin talk with Randy on the front porch. I had been pacing and trying to listen into their conversation but it had far exceeded a few hours.

Storming out of the house, I pushed my away against Justin as he stood up.

“If you’re going to reject me, then do it!”

Justin’s brow creased in response. “Never mention rejection, Helen, I told you that before.”

Through grit teeth, I pushed my chest against his so he could feel my fiery anger. “Well I have to say something, Justin! You won’t talk to me but you’ll be out here talking to your Beta all night!”

He flickered a look to Randy who hadn’t moved since I came out here. To give us some space, Randy lingered to the town square but he made no efforts to head home.

My mate took my chin in his hand, leveling my eyes while I trembled under his. “Why are you yelling at me? What have I done tonight to illicit this tone?”

I swallowed, gaffed by his ignorance. “The whole thing at the night club, Justin! You were so angry because I asked for one little thing! You have no right to shut me out tonight! You can fuck me in public but you can’t allow me to suggest one small—”

His hands shifted into claws and my back hit the outer wall of our house. I hissed a breath, his body shivering from head to toes, every inch of his Lycan begging to cut loose.

He hovered his hand hovered so close to my neck I could feel the essence of his nails beg to hold my throat. I coughed a petrified cry.

“I can’t hold back,” he snarled through his Lycan fangs. “I want you so bad, Helen, that it fucking terrifies me of the repercussions. Sometimes—” he hiccupped, swallowing his rage, “—sometimes I am so focused on not shifting during sex that I ignore the severity of my strength in this form.”

I shook my head, “you haven’t hurt me—”

“Yes, I have, Helen,” he snapped. His hand finally fell and he took a cautious few steps backwards. “Every bruise, every scratch mark; I notice it all and I feel horrible afterwards. Every. Damn. Time.”

Standing there, I felt perplexed by his reasonings. I never thought he was so remorseful after sex that it led him to only focus on not hurting me during it.

“So you’re not mad at me?” I squeaked.

Even while fighting his Lycan back, he forced a lopsided grin. “No, Helen. I’m not mad at you. I’m quite the opposite. I love you too much to hurt you like that. My Lycan wants nothing more than to have you,” he snarled.

He stepped back forward, his lips stealing mine, while my tongue brushed the inside of his cheek. I shuddered, grabbing his hips and biting on his lower lip.

He growled against my cheek, pushing my back so hard into the house I felt my spine creak in reply. I hissed a breath, staring up at his dark, Lycan-controlled irises.

“Enough,” Randy barked, pushing his way between us.

I fought my tears, my back aching from such a small push my mate had given me. Maybe he was right after all. He’s too strong and even while he is in mortal form, his Lycan only knows abrasiveness.

“Sorry,” Justin bit. “Ever since you suggested it, I’ve been on edge.”

Randy crossed his arms over his broad chest. “I was trying to talk him down but of course,” he said while rolling his eyes, “you had to rile him back up.”

I held my back straight against the wall, trying to alleviate the ache of my spine. “I didn’t know. I just felt embarrassed because of what I suggested in the heat of the moment. We had been making love for hours and it was an impulse suggestion.”

Randy nodded and pointed to the front door. “Let me handle him for now. He’s too high-strung to be around you, Luna. I don’t want either of you getting hurt.”

I agreed and stalked toward the door, my eyes catching something else in the distance. I could see Martha on the river’s edge, deep in thought as she sat on the large river rocks near the rapids.

Instead of going inside, I pointed to the river. “I’m going for a walk. I’ll be with Martha.”

The Alpha and Beta nodded, leaving me to hold my breath as I walked painfully toward the river. I would heal from the small fracture soon but I didn’t want to tell Justin he had hurt me while he was busy trying to calm down so he wouldn’t do that.

I ruined his peace tonight; I know that now.

“Hey,” I breathed, plopping down with Martha on the river’s edge.

She looked at me through her long, light colored lashes. “Luna, what are you—”

“Just call me Helen,” I pleaded. “Don’t worry about the Alpha and Luna thing, Martha. You’re human so you don’t have to address us formally.”

He face fell instantly. “Yeah, I know I am.” She buried her chin into her forearms, leaning forward as she hugged her knees to her chest. “I wish I wasn’t a human sometimes.”

I cocked my head, thinking of her strong wolf brother. “How did that happen? How come Ezequiel has a wolf but you don’t?”

“He’s my half-brother. We share the same mom, but different dads. Mom was already a weak wolf, I think they called her a ‘tri-color’ or something ridicules.”

“Tiger Lily,” I huffed.

Her eyes lit up. “Yeah! That’s what they called her. She had her mate and Ezequiel was their son. The way he explains it to me, she was outcasted and felt alone. She had an affair with a human and that’s how I’m here.”

Her head fell into her lap with weeping streams of cries coming from her eyes.

“They called me so many names growing up. They said I was a worthless human, an ugly child and that I should have never been born. Ezequiel ran away with me to protect me from the family and our pack. We found Small Oak and they accepted me, without a wolf.”

“That’s nice of them to allow you in the pack,” I said, resting my hand on her warm shoulder. “I was a Tiger Lily, too.”

She choked on her cries, her brows knit. “What do you mean? You’re a Luna, though, I thought you had to be a white wolf for that?”

“I guess most wolves do think that,” I groaned. “My first mate, he thought that way too. He rejected me for a white wolf, for a stronger mated match,” I added, leaving out it was my sister.

It stung a little to think about still. “I met Justin as my second chance mate; my Tiger Lily started turning into a Snow-white after that.”

“That’s amazing, Helen! You were a Tiger Lily and now you’re a Snow White? I can’t believe you were able to transition just because you found Justin.”

I smiled, thinking of how far he and I had come. “I just wanted to tell you all that because maybe you have a mate. Your mom was still a wolf, Martha. You could just be a really late bloomer. You never know, you could have a mate somewhere and—”

She jumped forward, stealing me in a tight embrace. I coughed, my breath hitching while I staggered to wrap my arms around her as well.

“Thank you,” she whispered into my shoulder. “I needed that.”

I glanced up, seeing her half-brother stalk towards the river where we sat. “Hey, Ezequiel.”

He bowed his head in respect. “Martha, what did I tell you regarding the Luna? You can’t just hug her. She is the Luna.”

“It’s okay,” I hummed, Martha pulling her arms back from my shoulders in embarrassment. “She’s my friend, so it’s okay. She is also a human right now so I’m not concerned with her following all of our pack rules. Let her off easier, Ezequiel.”

He nodded in acceptance. “Yes, Luna.”

I looked to Martha, smiling wide at her calmed features. “Go ahead and go inside for the night. It’s going to be cold and it might rain. We don’t want any rogues picking up your scent out here.”

She bowed her head despite my assurance that she didn’t have to.

It just left me alone by the river. I stared at my home, Justin shaking and trembling on the porch as he watched me from afar. Randy was trying to grab his focus, though I could see him struggle to do so.

A wild, feline howl came from across the river and I was stunted in agony as claws met my back.