Chapter 57

Helen POV

The Alpha and his beta talked through what feels like ages. I couldn’t sleep, only catching little mentions here and there as they caught up their timelines together.

Randy foresaw the attacks, and Justin explained why we ran away when we did, and what led to our inevitable capture. My body cringed when he spoke of the wizards and the woman who had tried to seduce him, holding my necklace in temptation.

They wanted to pounce on us then, to set us against each other, and while I false my appearance as peacefully asleep, Justin speaks over the sight of me so wounded in the misinterpretation of what I saw that day.

“She was so hurt. She wouldn’t say it out loud, but I saw it, Randy.” Justin’s voice is muffled and distressed. “I stay at Lone Wolf Estate and she gets hurt. We leave the Estate, and she gets hurt more.”

“It isn’t your fault as her mate, it’s your father’s doing, Justin. He was never going to pass the title down to you, not unless you became a weak Lycan. Somehow that plan revered.”

“It’s her,” Justin said. “Ever since I mated her, and every time after, I get more powerful. I tried to make sense of it but when we found my mother’s old journal, the page was torn. It would have explained it all.”

I swallowed with those words.

He wants to know. I clutch the necklace, my back towards the men across the cave.

“About that,” I said, my voice strangled and low. “The diary page. I found it before Scott and Juden put that collar onto my neck.”

“What collar?” Randy prodded.

“What are you saying, Helen?” Justin asked, his voice more commanding as my mate. “What did it say? Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

“It said I’m your only mate. You can never reject me, Justin. You are only going to get stronger from this point forward. Stronger than any wolf will ever be.”

Justin was behind me suddenly, pulling me onto my back so I could stare up at him helplessly. I held back my anxiety, breathing hard as I admitted to keeping something from my mate.

Mates should never have secrets.

“I didn’t want to tell you because—” I fell silent.

“Why, Helen? Tell me.”

“I was afraid that if you knew you couldn’t reject me then you would be forced to love me.” I buried myself in cold shame. “You’re the most powerful creature in the world, Justin, and I didn’t want to be your one weakness.”

“You are not my weakness,” he spat, insulted by my claim but it was how I felt. I was just trying to be honest. “You have made me stronger, Helen. You know that.”

“I’m also the reason we got in so much trouble,” I admitted. “You shifted Lycan in Vegas because of Geoffrey wanting to keep me. Then we got caught by our fathers with the Wizards because of the illusion they showed you of me and Scott.”

I winced at the scene they showed me. I’ve never known pain like that.

“It was my fault we were caught. If you continued to rampage that city tonight, then it would have been because of me, too. I was bait, and I was weak enough to lay there and take it so you could get us exiled.”

His face frowned with utter spite.

“How could you blame yourself like that, mate?”

“Because it’s true!”

I shot up, ripping Randy’s shirt off my bare body, Justin’s eyes dragging down my broken ribs and torn whips of skin.

“I am your weakness, dammit. I am the whipped and bloody bait for your Lycan’s temptation.” I sobbed shamelessly through my words, feeling them sting as I spoke. “I would reject myself from this bond if it would do you any good, but it won’t. I can’t.”

His face went sour at my claim.

He spoke through gritted teeth. “You would reject me to protect me? Is that what you’re saying?”

Frankly, hearing his tone and seeing his ferocity, I didn’t want to say a thing more. I could only nod at this rate. He was already furious by my words.

“It’s a damn good thing you can’t reject me then,” he snarled. “Because you will never mention that word again. Got it?”

I jumped, nodding profusely. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want to be the reason you are ever weak.”

He ripped his jeans off, standing proudly bare before me. His Lycan was pissed and so was his mortal form, the combined effort of their rage making it difficult to jump back when he pushed me back into the bed. His hands grabbed so rough at my wounded sides and my ass that I screamed.

Thankfully this place is enforced with rock. We would be caught by now otherwise.

His hand found my throat, not to choke me, but to keep me pinned on my back as he hovered over my body.

“You make me so strong it scares me,” Justin rattled off. His lips came to mine, only parting to add, “You think you make me weak? I’m going to show you how much stronger I am with you. I’m not doing a damn thing in this life without your help.”

“I’m useless,” I panted, his free hand finding the curve of my breast, toying with my nipple to make me spark with happiness but I was too distraught to enjoy it. “They will use me to get to you every time, Justin. I’m going to get you killed.”

His knees knocked at mine, pulling them so far apart that I couldn’t breathe correctly. I hitched an inhale, wanting to scream and cry and fucking unleash every rage I’ve ever had but I couldn’t.

Justin was going to do it for the both of us.

“I’m not going to be done with you until you can fucking see how strong we are together,” he hissed, pressing a palm into my torn side. It healed a little before from the moment in the woods, but not enough to seal all of the torn flesh. “You’re going to see strength, mate.”

His hand on my neck steadied me in one spot, his erection finding my wet sex and sliding in with ferocity. I felt it practically rip in response, but it was the best pain I’ve ever felt. He knocked into my pelvis with his own.

I wanted to be angry, too. I wanted to fuck him and be hateful and reckless and furious.

His grasp on my neck and chest had released in shock, watching as I kicked us sideway, flipping out positions instantly. I couldn’t handle his size from on top, but I’d be damned if I thought about stopping.

Our hips rocked as he sat up, keeping me pressed into his lap, his hands grabbing and his teeth biting. I was sure we would leave this venture with more wounds than when we had started.

It didn’t matter, though. It was my turn to be angry, to fight back, and I wanted everything Justin had and more. I wanted to be greedy, selfish and so mad that it scared me.

His Lycan and I had that in common, I believe.

I fell back as I came, but Justin kept me there, brushing my back to feel at my wounds.

They weren’t even close to being all healed. We will press further, be stronger, and for fuck’s sake, we would finish this.