Chapter 136

Helen POV

I sat up to find Justin had left our little oasis of a camp. I looked around for him for a while but when I came up empty, I went back to restoke the fire. I tossed a few logs on the burning, golden ashes seeing the flames eventually lick up the sides of firewood.

Warmth was nice but being held by my mate earlier was way better. It almost felt like he was back, like he was forgiving me and loving me again, but I knew that it wasn’t perfect. He still had to trust me, something I knew was too hard to do right now.

While I curled upright in a little ball, resting my chin between my knees, I watched my mate come through the greenery that surrounded our little camp. He had his eyes down, an odd little glass bottle in his fist that I could tell didn’t just come from this nature retreat.

“Hey,” I purred.

He jumped at the sound of my voice, his breath catching while he slid his hand awkwardly behind his back. He scanned the space with those dark, Lycan eyes, like he was furious already before the sun even comes up.

“How long have you been awake, Helen? You need to rest after the Huntsman troubles.”

I shrugged, staring at the fire that now peaked over my head. “I haven’t been awake long. I woke up and you weren’t here. I was worried. “

His brow cocked at the concern peeking through my tone. “Did you see him again?”

I shook my head in relief. “No, thankfully not. But…”

I felt around my limbs, sore and bruised. Justin nodded with his charismatic understanding, but as he walked toward the fire to add another piece of wood, that small vial came into view. I haven’t explored outside of this little oasis, but I doubt there’s a potion bottle shop anywhere near here.

“Are you going to tell me where you went?” I asked prudently.

He shakes his head, seemingly struggling through a battle in his mind. “It’s complicated, mate.”

I purred when he called me that. He admitted he still didn’t trust me but hearing him still validate our bond was nice. We seemed a little lighter this morning, unlike how we had been lately with everything going on concerning the Huntsman.

“You know I love you,” he breathed, finally sitting down beside me. I took the liberty to sink into his side and he held me there in confirmation. “Do you want pups with me, Helen?”

I nodded with excitement, although I felt a little uneasy about the idea. There has always been an underlying worry from others around us that I wouldn’t be able to carry pups of a Lycan breed.

I’m a strong she-wolf, a Snow White after being the weakest there ever was, but that didn’t guarantee that I would live through mating with his Lycan, let alone for me to give birth. Justin watched the flames and I could see him picking through the same concerns.

“I would give anything to have a family with you,” I hummed. “My family wasn’t very nice, and I may never know my real mother, Justin. But I want to have a good family—one with you.”

A small, almost unnoticeable crease of his lips grew into a charming grin. There was a hint of sadness, though, still plaguing his dark eyes.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded again, wishing to have a fondness for a family where I’m welcomed and loved. It was too late to ask that of my father and wicked step-mother. Moon goddess knows I wouldn’t have had much of a family left with Diana.

Especially not with Scott, either.

“Why are we talking about this now?” I pondered at last. “Is this about that little potion bottle in your pocket?”

“Yes, it is,” he exhaled. “It can help you from the Huntsman, but it has some side effects, Helen.”

I leaned in closer to my mate. “It’s okay, Justin. You can tell me.”

He ran a hand through his magnetic, attractive hair and grumbled slightly. “It’s complicated, mate. Do you know how it felt when you were hit with the darts from the Huntsman?”

“I do.” I shook my head, feeling ill with just the memory. “It hurt and it burned down my neck like I swallowed fire. Joy was certainly upset with it. Put us both to sleep.”

He nodded and kissed my temple, his dark eyes elsewhere as he settled in thought. “Super poison. It’s like wolfsbane, but lighter. When taken in a really small dose, it mutes a wolf and takes away all trails of their scent and their aura so they can’t be traced.”

I furrowed my brow. “Okay, so what’s wrong?”

“If you can’t shift, then my Lycan and your wolf can’t mate. We won’t be able to have pups, Helen.”

I shrugged off that disclaimer. “Then we can’t have pups right now, that’s fine. We can always wait and defeat the Huntsman and then I won’t have to take the poison anymore. Then we can mate!”

Still, he shook his head, eyes heavy on the horizon. “No. It is still a poison. It will have side effects. You’ve only had two darts worth, mate. That’s a lot, but not enough to do any damage permanently.”

I pulled away with those words. “So… how much will give me permanent side effects?”

He pauses, counting the math out in his head. “You will have to take a little bit everyday until we defeat the Huntsman and William.” His eyes look downtrodden and exhausted. “Anything more than two weeks of taking it and you’ll be sterile.”

My heart fell into my stomach. I tried to nod and seem hopeful, but I don’t think I did a very convincing job if it. My mate watched me carefully as I ran through that news with a heavy, dilapidated heart.

“So it’s not looking good.”

He nodded. “No, little wolf. It’s not.”

I wiped my face, exhausted. “I thought we came out here to relax and to get away from the Huntsman, Justin. Why did you have to bring this up now?”

He looked toward the edge of the trees, as if expecting something to emerge, but he gave in and sighed heavily for a moment. “I just couldn’t sleep and I wanted to see what the best option was.”

“Going to have to keep looking,” I mumbled with a shrug.

I met his gaze then and knew right off his look that he had made up his mind. I sat back, pulling away from him altogether. We had fought the Huntsman a little but with no success.

He was the worst of our enemies to come, and he had that pixie-dust stealing rogue on his side.

We would need more than two weeks if we were going to defeat them.

“We still have to find out what really happened to your father, Justin. The Huntsman said we have to do his work for him, he wants us to kill him.”

He shook his head. “My father is dead.”

I couldn’t help but hear the falsity in his tone. “But the Huntsman said—”

“Enough of what he said!”

Justin was standing now, furious and panting in anger. He paced away from me, which was a clear indicator that he wasn’t mad at me, perhaps just our situation. Either way it hurt me to see him so conflicted and rotten in complications.

Even on vacation, we couldn’t have a stress-free time.