Chapter 26

Lyra

The Ravencrest library was always my favorite spot on campus. It was dimly lit and quiet, the smell of old books and leather and mahogany wood permeating everything, and I always liked the way the dust motes danced in the golden light of the setting sun streaming through the tall, narrow windows.

Mia and I were tucked away at one of the study tables between the towering shelves. The faint sound of students whispering and books being shuffled around created a soothing backdrop—not silence, but the gentle hum of studying.

I was glad to have another chance at being in this place. It felt like a gift, especially now that I finally had a friend to share it with. Unlike in my past life, when I was lonely and too desperate for Kael’s attention to truly appreciate life.

“So. Bianca and Kael are finally dating,” Mia whispered, sliding the small tupperware of chocolate chip cookies across the table—apparently her mother was an expert baker and sent her boxes of treats every week. She took a bite and shook her head. “What a surprise.”

My heart turned bitter at the reminder that Bianca and Kael were officially dating; Bianca was Kael’s “mysterious girlfriend”. I took two cookies and shoved one completely into my mouth as if that would protect me from having to respond.

The school was buzzing with the news already, and it had only gotten out hours ago. Kael and Bianca, happily ever after, just like in my past life…

I didn’t love Kael anymore. Of course I didn’t. But it didn’t mean that my foolish heart wouldn’t respond to the way history was repeating itself in this life.

Well, at least in this one they had gotten together early, before Kael found out I was his mate. And when my wolf was unsealed, I could reject him quickly and quietly, saving us both from the humiliation of being mated.

It was easier this way. Bianca could have what she wanted, and this time, I wouldn’t stand in her way.

Or at least, I wouldn’t stand between her and Kael this time. But my mind kept wandering back to the awful things she’d said just before I died, and that strange stone in Cassidy’s pocket.

“Mia,” I suddenly said after swallowing my cookie, desperate to change the subject, “you work in the library. Are you allowed into the restricted section?”

My friend nearly choked on her water. “Why are you asking about that?”

I leaned in closer. “There must be some books on black magic, right?”

Mia just stared at me for a moment, clearly trying to gauge if I was fucking with her or not. When I maintained my expression, she glanced around furtively before nodding.

“Of course. But don’t tell the librarian. First-years aren’t supposed to go into the restricted section, but… you know.” She shrugged, and her smile turned impish, but then she added, “But why black magic, specifically? You’re not planning on summoning any demons, are you?”

“No. Nothing like that.” I paused and dragged my lower lip through my teeth, wondering how much to tell her. I hadn’t known Mia for long, but she had proven herself to be a good friend already.

Finally, I decided on just telling her the truth. “Before Cassidy left, I sensed this… aura around her. A strange scent. She had a black rock in her possession that the scent was most concentrated in.” I glanced around, then leaned in closer and whispered, “I think something fishy was going on with her and that rock. I can’t explain it, but it just had a bad energy.”

Mia blinked, then furrowed her brow for a long moment. “Hm. The rock could have been a conduit for some kind of dark magic. If you want, I can do some research for you.”

“You’d really do that?” I asked. “I don’t want you to get in trouble—”

“Oh, please,” Mia cut me off, grinning. “I sneak into the restricted section almost every night. The head librarian leaves the key right on the front desk where anyone could take it—really, it’s on her if I snag it for a little light reading.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, eliciting a “Shh!” from a nearby chagrined student who was clearly cramming for an exam.

“You’re the best, Mia,” I whispered, leaning back in my chair.

Mia grabbed another cookie and stuffed it into her mouth. “Trust me. I know.”

…

It was late, probably too late to be out on the sparring grounds, but I couldn’t sleep. The moon was nearly full as it rose in the night sky, a pale white disc with a mere sliver missing. It felt like a mockery.

I could never sleep around the full moon. Because, unlike every other wolf, I couldn’t shift.

Nights like tonight were the most painful. Even with my wolf’s presence in my mind as a constant companion through the bad moments, not being able to shift felt like shoving myself into a cage. My skin felt too small, my bones aching to stretch and change into a form that I’d only gotten to feel once before.

Then it was taken away. And every full moon after that was a harsh reminder of what I couldn’t have.

But I knew now that if I trained hard enough, then I could have it back. Ronan would teach me the unsealing ritual and I would be able to shift again. I’d never looked forward to anything quite so much in my life—this one or the last. I wouldn’t jeopardize it like I had before. This time, I was going to do it right, and then I would be whole again.

In the meantime, though, I would have to endure a few more miserable full moons.

To distract myself from the discomfort, I slipped away to the training grounds a little while before curfew began, just for some time to train by myself with no one to distract me or judge me before I had to return to my dorm for the night.

The night air was cool and soothing on my skin as I went through my maneuvers. Each movement, each hit against the training dummy, felt like a release of something I couldn’t explain, and soon, I found myself breathless and sweating, but still unable to stop.

I didn’t stop until I heard a familiar voice behind me. “It’s almost curfew, you know. You could get in trouble.”

Gasping mid-swing, I whirled around to see Luca standing at the edge of the training ground with his hands in his pockets. He’d forgone his varsity jacket despite the chill of the October evening, revealing taut muscles beneath golden skin.

“So could you.” I lowered my fists and caught my breath. “What are you doing out here?”

Luca shrugged and strode up to me, eyes flicking over to the training dummy that was still shaking from my recent kick. “Couldn’t sleep. You?”

“Same.” I gestured around at the quiet sparring grounds, the sandy ground almost silver in the pale moonlight. There was no sound save for the wind rustling through the autumn leaves. “It’s calming out here at night, just before curfew. No one’s around.” I glanced at him. “Or at least, not usually.”

Luca’s mouth lifted, and he raised his hands in mock surrender. “Sorry for interrupting your battle training, oh great and mighty shieldmaiden,” he teased, walking backwards toward the exit. But then he stopped and lifted a brow. “Unless you want a sparring partner?”