Chapter 31

“Oh,” I breathed. I had no clue how much he knew about me. Did he know who I was? Who my mother was? Was this about to be the way my secret got out?

“No,” he shook his head. His gaze snapped from mine. “No, no, this isn’t how it was supposed to be.”

“Thorne—” I reached for him. He stepped back out of my reach. I felt the panic in his eyes seep through my bones. Something was begging for me to touch him. I needed it more than I needed air at that point. But he stepped away from me. My chest felt like a weight was placed on it.

“No,” he repeated, still shaking his head in disbelief. “I – I can’t.”

“What?” My voice came out as barely a whisper. I felt the crushing reality of the situation driving me into the ground.

“I’m supposed to be the available for the Princess,” he said, eyes darting back and forth on the floor. “I – It’s my duty.”

“Duty?” I said. “Thorne, please, I –”

I felt pathetic, begging for him like that. But there was a driving need burning me up from the inside out. My whole body was twitching with the need to just touch him. I’d never felt like this before. Thorne shook his head again.

“No,” he said firmly. “I am a Knight of Queen Luna. I must be able to fulfill my duty. I refuse the bond.”

I felt like I’d been shot in the chest. I crumbled to the ground in pain. The burning and need that was once in my bones was replaced by an ice so cold and a pain so white. I cried out and dug my nails into my chest. I felt hands come to my shoulders. They did nothing to ease the pain I felt.

“You have to reject it too,” someone said. Valentin. How was he here right now? I cried out again, the icy cold reaching my finger tips and feeling them shake in my lap. The pain was so strong, my vision went out. I felt another scream force its way out of my throat.

“I can’t!” I choked out through gasps.

“You must,” Valentin said sternly. “If you don’t it will consume you whole.”

“I – I –” my body felt like it was exploding from the inside out.

“You must try, Zora!” Valentin’s voice was becoming frantic.

He shook me once. I felt my brain beginning to freeze over in my head. I started to feel faint. I let my body fall slightly. Slowly, darkness was overcoming my body. I felt my consciousness beginning to slip. I accepted that this was it for me. As the peace overcame me, I gave up.

Then, there was only fire.

All the ice in my body turned to flames. The blood in my veins exploded into flames and licked every surface that was previously frozen over. I lifted my head from Valentin’s lap. I screamed as if fire was about to explode from my lungs. I felt a warmth woosh down my arms and legs. There was a crack then a shudder then I felt my bones shifting.

My plams splayed out on the floor of the dance floor. Then my fingers snapped and shaped themselves into a new form. My toes snapped out of the heels I was in and shaped and shimmied themselves as well. All the while, fire licked over my body in every which way. I feel a bark build in my chest and explode in my ears. Then I shook. I felt the fur coating my skin and I felt the burning subside in my bones.

I had awakened my wolf.

I looked towards Valentin. His white-gold eyes were wide in wonder. “Zora,” he breathed. “Sever the bond.”

I knitted my eyebrows together but then, I felt it. It was a shimmering gold thread that felt like it tied me to Thorne. He had backed away from the whole situation and was standing across the floor. I furrowed my brows and visualized a pair scissors they bracketed the gold thread and then –

Snip!

All the ice was gone. The fire returned to a dull hum in my limbs. An exhaustion swept over my body. I felt my front elbows hit the floor then the underbelly of my wolf body slumped with it. I whined, low and sad. Then, I felt the fur shrink back into my skin. My paws slunk back into fingers and toes. I blinked and my vision shifted back to the one I’d know. The cold floor chilled my skin and raised goosebumps on my human skin.

I shook for only a moment before I felt fabric be draped across my skin. Then, a warm hand on my shoulder. I closed my eyes for the hundredth time that night and fell into a sleep that only seemed inevitable.

When I woke up, I heard the familiar beeping that I associated with the infirmary. I shifted slightly and felt my bones crack and pop… but nothing hurt. My eyes slowly opened as I took into account my body.

My arms were still there. My legs were still there. I could wiggle my toes. Somehow, I was alive.

What a relief, the voice in the back of my head said. But this time, she sounded different.

I sat up in the bed I was in. Hello? I called into the back of my head. I could’ve sworn I heard a wolfish laugh.

Hello! The voice said again. I felt my eyes bulge. I felt a tail swish around in the back of my mind. What the fuck was happening?

You’ve awakened me, the voice said. I am here now. Fully.

I blinked. But you were here before? I said. How – I –

I am you. I’ve always been you, the voice said. The tail in my mind swished again. But now I am who you’ve always wanted us to be. The wolf you were meant to be.

I blinked again. A low chuckle sounded from my right. I twisted in my bed to face the person it came from. Valentin smiled brightly at me.

“I feel like you’re always in that seat,” I mused out loud.

“I feel like you’re always getting hurt,” Valentin threw back. He stood and sighed. “How do you feel?”

How did I feel?

“Alive,” I said. “Normal. But also, not? I wish I could explain it.”

“No need,” Valentin said. “I had the same feeling when my wolf awakened.”

“Yeah probably when you were like eight or something,” I snorted.

“My wolf didn’t wake until I was eighteen,” Valentin shoved his hands in his pockets. “It was how it usually was before we broke out of the vampire’s grasp.”

“Oh,” I said. “Maybe my wolf didn’t get the memo.”

I heard, my wolf said. I just ignored.

How are you so sassy already?

I’m you, she snorted. You were sassy before you got me.

Valentin chuckled and brought my out of my thoughts. I glanced at him. He was smiling slightly out of the corner of his mouth.

“What?” I asked.

“Do you want to see?”

I furrowed my brows. “See what?”

“Your eyes,” he continued, offering my a hand.

I tentatively took it to stand up. I expected some of the crazy sparks that had happened before, but felt nothing. Maybe with the awakening – and snapping – of my bond with Thorne, whatever was going on with Valentin had slipped away. I filed it away in the back of my mind to ask Victoria if bonds could disappear.

Slowly, I let me feet touch the ground in the infirmary. Everything felt so much more. The grooves and the slants of the floor were so much more prominent now. I felt every dip under my toes. It was insane. My jaw fell slightly slack. I looked up at Valentin.

“Easy now,” he cautioned, hand still holding on to mine. “Everything will feel much more intense now.”

I nodded slightly before setting my second foot on the ground. Valentin led me across the room to a mirror. What I saw, made my hands fly to my mouth in shock.

I had expected my eyes to turn gold when my wolf was awakened. However, there, in front of me, situated where my old hazel eyes were was a pair of stunning, green-gold eyes.