Chapter 1
I found the receipt when I was doing laundry. It fell out of his jacket pocket, fluttered to the floor like something trying to escape.
Le Bernardin. 8:30 PM. Table for two.
I'd been in the ER waiting room at 8:30. Sitting on one of those plastic chairs that's designed to be uncomfortable, as if grief needs additional punishment.
Mom had collapsed in her kitchen. The neighbor found her and called 911. By the time I got to the hospital, they were running tests. Possible heart attack, the doctor said. We need to monitor her overnight, maybe surgery.
I'd texted Owen: Mom's in the ER. Can you come?
His response came twenty minutes later: Working late. Is it serious?
They're talking about surgery. I'm scared.
Can your sister go with you?
My sister lives in Boston. It would take her six hours minimum to get here.
I really need you here.
The typing bubbles appeared and disappeared three times before his message finally came through: Kenna's presentation is tomorrow, she's panicking. I need to help her prep. Keep me updated, okay? You're strong, you can handle it.
You're strong, you can handle it.
I'd heard those words so many times they'd become background noise. Like the hum of the hospital's fluorescent lights.
A nurse came out around midnight. Older woman, kind eyes. "Your husband coming?"
I opened my mouth. Closed it. "He's working."
She nodded, the way people do when they know you're lying but are too polite to say so.
The surgery took six hours. I counted every minute. Watched the clock on the wall tick forward while I sat alone in that waiting room, surrounded by other people's families.
When the doctor finally came out—gray-haired, exhausted—he explained the procedure, the risks, the recovery timeline. I nodded and took notes on my phone because my hands needed something to do. I signed forms. I asked questions I'd Googled in the bathroom because I didn't know what else to ask.
"She'll need someone with her for the first few weeks," he said.
"I'll be there," I told him.
And I knew, even then, that Owen wouldn't be.
I drove home at four in the morning. The roads were empty. The house was dark.
Owen's car wasn't in the driveway.
Now I'm standing in our kitchen, holding this receipt, looking at the roses.
I buy them every Friday. Yellow ones, because they used to be my favorite. I'd put them in the blue vase on our dining table, change the water every few days, tell myself their presence meant something.
This week's roses are brown at the edges, petals curling inward. The water in the vase has gone cloudy.
I forgot to change it.
Or maybe I'd stopped caring.
The receipt in my hand costs more than my entire grocery budget for the week. Two filets, a bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, crème brûlée for dessert.
Owen hates crème brûlée. Says it's too sweet.
Kenna loves it.
I set the receipt on the table, next to the dying roses. The paper looks obscene next to those brown petals. Evidence of something I'd known but hadn't wanted to see.
Three years ago, I gave Owen eighty thousand dollars. It was supposed to be our down payment on a house, money my parents had saved for decades. "Invest in yourself," they'd said when they handed me the check. "Buy something that's yours."
Instead, I invested in Owen's dream.
The architecture studio had been struggling. He'd been sleeping four hours a night, taking calls at 2 AM, coming home with that desperate look in his eyes. "Just a little more time," he'd say. "Just until we land that first big client."
So I gave him the money. Became a silent investor in Blake Architecture. Silent being the operative word.
For three years, I took freelance design jobs to cover our mortgage, our bills, our lives. Small projects for small money. While Owen built beautiful things for other people.
"When the studio stabilizes," he'd promise. "When we hit our stride."
But there was always something. Always someone who needed him more.
Usually Kenna.
She'd joined the studio two years ago. "Business development," Owen called it. She had the connections, the social skills, the ability to charm clients over expensive lunches.
She also had emergencies.
Every week, it was something. PowerPoint presentations she couldn't finish. Difficult clients she couldn't handle alone. Divorce proceedings that left her "emotionally fragile." Each time, Owen would drop everything. Skip our date nights, miss our friends' parties, cancel plans we'd made weeks in advance.
"She needs support right now," he'd explain. "You understand, don't you?"
I understood. I always understood.
Because that's what good wives do.
The front door opens. Owen's home.
I don't move from my spot at the table. Just watch as he comes into the kitchen, loosening his tie. He looks tired but pleased with himself. That specific kind of exhaustion that comes from feeling important.
"Harper." He notices me and smiles. "You're still up. Hey, guess what? Kenna's presentation went amazing. The client loved the designs, signed on for phase two. This is huge for us."
For us.
I look at him. This man I married five years ago. The one who used to wake me up with coffee in bed, who'd leave sticky notes on my laptop saying you're brilliant when I was working late on a project.
When did he stop seeing me?
Or had he ever really seen me at all?
"How was overtime?" I keep my voice light, curious.
He blinks. "What?"
I don't repeat myself. Just slide the receipt across the table.
It takes him a second. I watch his face as he registers what it is, where it's from. Watch the micro-expressions: confusion, then recognition, then something that might be guilt or might just be annoyance at being caught.
"Harper—"
"How's my mom?" I interrupt.
He freezes. "What?"
"My mom. You remember, she was in the hospital last night. Heart surgery."
The color drains from his face. "Oh my god. Harper, I'm so sorry, I completely—is she okay?"
"She's fine. No thanks to you."
"I was going to ask, I just—"
"You were going to ask?" My voice stays steady. That surprises both of us. "After telling me about Kenna's presentation?"
"I forgot, I'm sorry—"
"You forgot that my mother had heart surgery."
"It's been a crazy day—"
"It's been a crazy day," I repeat. Then I gesture to the receipt. "Was the Châteauneuf-du-Pape good?"
He looks at me, confused by my tone. Then his eyes fall on the receipt I'd placed next to the dead roses.
