Chapter 69

[Third-Person’s POV]

Alexander felt as though he’d reached a threshold within his own mind.

Beneath his skin, he was tingling. His own blood was buzzing.

He’d uncovered a revelation he didn’t even realize he’d been searching for. It was like a light bulb had finally gone off in his head—one that he didn’t know was still capable of producing light.

The part of him that he’d been convinced was no longer worth dealing with. For a brief moment, his mind had been completely wiped blank. His emotions were scattered.

Alexander, personally, never thought he had what it took to feel love for someone else. Those in his pack and certain family members didn't count—what he was referring to was love but in the romantic sense.

There wasn’t anyone who’d taken up that position in his life for several, tortuously numb years.

Rena.

She was, and had been, the only woman to ever work her way into Alexander’s heart. She was as beautiful as she was intelligent. Her kindness knew no bounds until it came a time when the two of them were faced with a heart-wrenching obstacle.

She wanted more and at the time, Alexander wasn’t nearly the accomplished Alpha that he was today. One of the lowest points in his life was a time when he had actually begged her to stay with him. But, still, she had refused.

Alexander truly believed that they possessed a love like no other. He thought it to be impenetrable and unbreakable to any outside influence. He’d learned a terrible lesson the day he discovered that Rena was set to marry the Alpha Prince.

Yes, he buried his feelings into his work but what Alexander also ended up doing was locking his heart away for good. It counted toward his ruthlessness. It made him capable of being stone-cold when facing difficult decisions.

The steel walls he’d placed around his heart were quickly beginning to rust and crumble. The more he uncovered about his own wife, the more he felt like slipping back into his old self.

He felt things like sympathy and sadness for the young version of Evelyn who was never shown any sort of acknowledgement. Alexander couldn’t imagine what that feeling must have been like to be purposely ignored and overlooked. To feel isolated.

All the while, Evelyn used her time constructively by forming her own education. Now, it made perfect sense how she could end up losing herself in the library. At one point or another, it had become a safe haven for her.

But nothing prepared Alexander for the shock of finding out that Evelyn was far more inept than he would have ever imagined.

Networking...Creating treaties...Establishing laws and codes...

“Who are you?” he whispered out loud.

Thankfully, Evelyn hadn’t taken any offense to his sudden bluntness. The corner of her mouth curled into an amused grin, taking away what little sadness had managed to linger.

“I’m just me.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “No, Evelyn. You need to acknowledge the fact that you are not some average woman. You are, without a single doubt, the most extraordinary woman I could have ever hoped to come into contact with.”

Her eyes widened and a gentle blush started spread across her face. Alexander had never admitted it, not even to himself, but he absolutely adored that habit of hers. Whether Evelyn knew it or not, she was highly susceptible to blushing.

It always made her appear more at ease and hard to look away from.

It’s one of the things I love about her.

Alexander felt his heart slam violently in his rib cage. It felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer and struck him right in the chest, opening up a gigantic crater to let in all the feelings he’d been avoiding.

Holy shit...He’d finally admitted it.

Love...He loved her.

This time, Alexander feared that he was the one shaking, but there was no chance of denying it. None whatsoever. All he could hope for was that Evelyn wasn’t able to sense his sudden panic.

But what he really hoped for was that Evelyn felt the same about him. Even if it was just a little.

As wondrous and striking as those newly rejuvenated feelings felt, Alexander seriously wondered if he deserved to experience them. In the back of his mind, a dark shadow loomed over his thoughts.

What right do I have to love someone like her?

Beneath the wonderment was a thick layer of guilt. He wasn’t blind to the fact that their situation wasn’t the most conventional. Hell, he’d been lying to her since the day they first met. And to think, they were married at that same time.

It was wrong on so many levels.

Evelyn had proved herself time and time again to him and his pack. She was someone who deserved so much more than what he believed she settled for.

Maybe there’s a chance that I could make things right between us.

He could still tell her about his true physical state. Alexander was well aware that he’d been procrastinating and dodging the topic every chance he got.

“Thank you,” he heard her say.

Evelyn pulled him out of his mental revere and brought him back to the present moment. He shoved back his own embarrassment for having zoned out and gave her a confused look.

“For what?”

She lifted her hand to gesture all around the room. “For all of this.”

Alexander tried not to shoot down her gracious thanks only because he wasn’t sure what she could be thanking him for. He wasn’t the one who did any of the organizing and he certainly wasn’t on the decorating committee.

Evelyn squeezed his hand. “I know that Nina and Wendy were the ones that set everything up and all. But...You’re the one who brought the whole topic up in the first place.”

On a quick, mindless impulse, he reached forward and curled his hand over her cheek. He leaned in and brought her lips to his own in a heated kiss. He’d stolen the very air from her lungs and swallowed each and every moan.

He pressed his tongue against the seam of her lips. The second she opened her mouth, his tongue licked and prodded at her own in a hot sensual dance. He knew, right then and there, he could grow addicted to the way that she tasted.

Come on, Alexander. Tell her the truth. She deserves to know the goddamn truth!

The more he put it all off, the more at risk he was putting their relationship. Him being, supposedly, bound to a wheelchair was part of the whole reason why Evelyn was so fond of him. It was his so-called resilience to go on being a strong and proud Alpha.

What was she going to think once she found out the truth? How would she view him then?

It shouldn’t have mattered, it wasn’t enough to let him use his fear as an excuse any longer.

He broke the kiss but kept her close. Alexander and Evelyn were both trying to catch their breath while they leaned their heads together.

“Evelyn, I have to—”