Chapter 40

[Evelyn’s POV]

Evelyn doesn’t want to assume anything about this, so she kindly says goodnight and heads to bed. The following day she’s met with a knock on the door, thinking it’s either Wendy or Nina. However, she’s shocked to find that it’s Alexander. He comes in and goes straight to her wardrobe. He picks out the outfit for her, oddly merging both her clothes and some of the new clothes that were made for her. “You need to get comfortable wearing clothes that you may not be used to. As other events happen, you’ll be expected to wear clothes that fit your title. When you’re home you can wear whatever you want, but when you leave the grounds, you now represent the Kingston Family.” “I understand.”

I hoped that my shocked expression was enough of an answer for Alexander’s utterly astonishing statement. Was he actually being serious?

Before I could stop myself, I felt my brows pull together in absolute confusion.

“Why?” I asked.

I hadn’t meant to sound so blunt. But I really couldn’t fathom why he, of all people, would be remotely interested in wanting to help me with this. It wasn’t exactly a thrilling endeavor. I wasn’t quite sure why he would even make such an offer.

I lightly cleared my throat and tried to recover from the slight embarrassment that washed over my cheeks.

“It’s just that...Surely, you have better things to do than wanting to deal with my problems.”

Alexander pulled his eyes away to glance at some other part of the room for a short moment. Either he was feeling a bit embarrassed himself or he was looking for the right words to say.

“I suppose you’re not wrong in that aspect,” he remarked. “There’s always something that requires my attention; however,...I would much rather be here rather than read through another redundant document.”

Hearing him say this, made my heart gently leap. Then again, there was still a part of me that was skeptical of Alexander’s intentions. There were times when I didn’t even want to take part in Wendy’s lessons, so I really couldn’t envision him wanting to.

“...Alright.”

Alexander gave me a curt nod and took his place at the table with me. Over the course of the meal, things were kept in moderate silence, minus a few comments made here and there. I had asked him how the soldiers were doing, knowing that the temperatures were getting cooler outside.

“I believe everyone is faring well enough.” A slight smile curved his lips, causing my stomach to flutter. “Thankfully, nothing horrible has broken out amongst the groups, as of yet.”

I wasn’t used to him trying to be humorous around me. Instead of feeling uncomfortable, I found myself giggling which only led to him deepening his smile.

One thing I noticed off-hand with Alexander was that he appeared unnaturally tired. There were slight rings under his eyes, showing his lack of rest.

Was he sleeping as poorly as I was?

Having moved most of my belongings into another room, I hadn’t anticipated that my sleeping schedule would become so distorted. It wasn’t as though I was falling asleep any earlier or later than usual—hell, I was hardly falling asleep at all.

“Alexander, are you feeling alright?” I questioned. “You look exhausted.”

He took a long sip from his glass and kept his eyes fixed on his plate.

“I haven’t been sleeping well.”

I nibbled on my bottom lip, contemplating my next words carefully.

“...me neither.”

Just then, he lifted his gaze up to meet mine. The intensity in his eyes made me think that I had somehow revealed a well-hidden secret to him. But nothing more was said on the matter.

...

Oddly enough, Alexander had chosen to walk me back to my room after dinner. What made it so odd was the mere fact that he’d never done it before. The act itself almost seemed far too domesticated for a marriage like ours.

But I wasn’t going to point that out.

A chill raced down my spine when Alexander decided to break the silence between us.

“What have you been reading lately?”

“Oh, um, just my usual book on plants. I’m currently reading up on ways one can use lavender to help ease the nervous system.”

“Lavender is often used to help with anxiety,” he noted. “Are you saying that you’ve been feeling overly anxious lately?”

Oh, God. I really didn’t want to get into this sort of conversation, considering how tired we both were. Knowing that neither one of us had been sleeping much, there was a very possible chance this wasn’t going to end well.

The last thing I wanted to do was argue with him. Dinner had been unexpectedly pleasant and not too agonizing. I’d hate for this evening to end poorly.

“I’ve...Well, I suppose I’ve always been a little anxious growing up. Being here hasn’t made much of a difference in that aspect,” I told him.

Alexander stopped moving. He glanced up at me; his forehead furrowed.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” he asked firmly.

All I could think to do was shrug my shoulders. “Would it have mattered? It’s not generally something I can always control. At times, I find it harder to deal with.”

“Like when it comes to social events,” he muttered under his breath, wryly.

“Or like when someone has a gun aimed at me,” I said blatantly.

Alexander's nostrils flared as he fought to hide the unmistakable blush on his cheeks. “Oliver has a tendency to get ahead of himself at times,” he commented.

Oh, no. There’s no way he’s blaming Oliver for this. Yes, he was the one who always held the weapon. But I know that it was Alexander who gave the order.

“Yet, you’re the one who allows him to point a loaded gun at me whenever you’re feeling suspicious.” I let out a long breath and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Alexander, I understand that you’re cautious, alright? You have every right to be wary at times, but the only way to overcome that feeling is to get to know that person.”

I truly felt as though I was scolding a child. Alexander appeared both puzzled and irritated like he was trying to work out the issue in his head by himself.

“I’m...trying,” he mumbled quietly.

I almost hadn’t caught that under the low rumble of his chest. I slowly felt my heart rate pick up.

“I’ve been alone for a very long time,” he said. “Trusting people and being naturally open aren’t things that tend to come easy for me.”

Alexander is trying to be more open...I can do this.

“Well, then it looks like we both need to work on ourselves,” I said lightly.

When we made it to my door, I felt a sudden wave of disappointment flood through me. Part of me didn't want our time together to end so abruptly. This was the most he and I had spoken to each other in weeks.

Would I be able to make the request to stay in the master bedroom tonight, if it meant we could continue our conversation?

Since it was my idea to move out in the first place, I knew such a possibility wasn’t going to happen. Perhaps, I had thrown enough topics at him for one evening. Plus, I agreed to let him help me with the etiquette lessons going forward; so, it wouldn’t be the last time he and I were going to speak like this.

Alexander, though, didn’t seem as appeased as I was. He looked mildly annoyed by the fact that I was going to be sleeping in my separate room for yet another night.

And to be honest, I wasn’t feeling much better about the prospect either.