Chapter 35

[Evelyn’s POV]

I should have just gone to bed.

My body felt heavy and my feet were killing me. Yet the thought of going back to that damn bedroom which I pointlessly shared with a man who doesn’t want to have any part of me in his life, made me grimace with displeasure.

Yes, I was tired—both physically and emotionally. When I had gotten back to the bedroom, I carefully undid the back laces of my dress and did my best to climb out of fit before heading into the bathroom for a much-needed shower.

While the hot water worked its magic on my aching muscles, I wished it was enough to wash away the last several hours of my life too. Or, at the very least, make me forget all the horrible words that had been tossed at me.

I felt a little better once I was back in my usual clothes. As beautiful as the dress was, I was more than glad to be back in my leggings and soft cardigan sweater.

For a long moment, I glanced in the direction of my bed and contemplated if I should lay down and hope for sleep to overtake me. However, the room itself felt and smelled too much of Alexander that my feet ended up dragging me toward the door.

Space. I needed space and proper time to think over things. Granted I had no idea where I was headed specifically, all I knew was that it had to be as far away from Alexander as possible in order to clear my mind.

I should just forget about the whole thing. Why should I care what Fiona has to say about my marriage to Alexander? The only people who really matter in this situation are him and myself!

Honestly, I should have just gone to find Alexander so the two of us could talk these things out. I could have very well been a mature adult and been the one to resolve the worries and doubts in my mind.

However...Based on what I knew of Alexander and his way of dealing with things in this particular area, I had a strong feeling I wasn’t going to get very far in sorting the problem out.

Alexander was not only prideful but exceedingly guarded. The chance of him being willing to open up about his past with Rena as well as the legitimate basis for our marriage was as slim as Fiona ever being openly nice to me.

When my feet stopped moving, I found myself in the kitchens. The corner of my lips curled into a light smile. Apparently, my subconscious was trying to tell me that I needed a nice cup of tea to ease my nerves a little.

I was semi-grateful for the fact that the place was mostly empty of staff for the moment. As I went about setting up the kettle on the stove, I braced my hands on the countertop before letting my mind slip back into its deep train of thought.

“...Everyone practically knows that you’re being completely cold-shouldered by your own pack...”

Fiona’s venomous words bounced in my head like a cruel message on a broken record player.

“...Yeah, and why do you think he chose to keep such a big piece of news from his own pack? Maybe it’s because even in his physical state, Alexander is embarrassed and ashamed of having to marry someone like you...”

Her words were meant to hurt me, but instead, they were making me think—making me doubt. Because our relationship was so limited, I had very little to back up my own side of the argument.

“...That gentle, perfect Luna Princess, Rena...Is Alexander’s first love and unforgettable ex. You will never compare to her...”

The past relationship between Alexander and Rena had fallen under all those other topics I’d considered to be nothing but gossip amongst the staff. Who knew what was really true?

From what I could recall from the gossip that buzzed amongst the staff, Rena seemed to have abandoned Alexander for Alpha Prince. As far as I was aware, Alexander wasn’t yet the well-known young War God he was now.

There was a sharp twinge in my chest at the thought of Alexander having been left broken-hearted. Had he fought hard to keep Rena?

Whatever Rena and Alexander once shared with one another had me feeling kind of jealous. I couldn’t imagine him, much less anyone, going out of their way to try and convince me or win me over.

“Had he really settled for me?” I asked myself quietly.

Did he seriously think so low of me that it made him believe he couldn’t have done any better since he thought so low of himself?

Screw that! What the hell was so wrong with me?! Sure, I wasn’t the elegant, princess-type of woman that he preferred. But I care deeply for the well-being and security of the pack and was willing to put in all the necessary work to ensure prosperity and a solid structure. That should be miles better than what he had before...

The pain in my chest continued and the thought of having to face him eventually made my nerves twist.

The sudden, ear-piercing sound of the tea kettle going off broke me from my thoughts. I finished prepping my tea and turned around to find Nina walking into the kitchen. Her face broke out into an excited smile.

“Hey, how was the gathering?” she asked eagerly.

I let out a deep, deflated breath and gently shook my head. I didn’t want to put a damper on her perspective of the event, mainly because she had helped me so much to prepare for it. But I wasn’t going to lie either.

“I should never have gone in the first place.”

Her smile gently fell. “But you looked so beautiful.”

“And didn’t matter because no one will ever see me as anything more than some raggedy ‘wild child’.”

Perhaps things would have been different if Alexander had gone with me. No one would have dared breathe a word of insult or rudeness to me. Then again, there was no telling what would have happened since Rena had been there and tried to speak to Alexander regardless.

Nina gave me a sympathetic look which only made me cringe inwardly. The last thing I wanted was pity.

For the first time since my wedding, I felt trapped and I didn't know what to do. With my mug clutched firmly in my hands, I started making my way back toward the door.

“I think I’m going to go for a walk,” I told her.

“Are you sure?” Nina asked. “It’s getting awfully late.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

Hopefully, that will be the last lie I tell today.

This time, I knew where I wanted to go. A place where I would be able to get a grip on my thoughts without the worry of being interrupted. The gardens.

I made sure to remain on the preset cobblestone path that was softly lit by a few overhanging lanterns. The foliage was green and luscious, making me feel safe and well-hidden from any onlookers. The place was truly tranquil.

Unfortunately, the path I stayed on brought me right back to the house, letting me know that my peaceful walk was over. Whatever tension I was able to let go of came racing back when I came face-to-face with a grimacing Alexander.