Chapter 162

[Evelyn’s POV]

“You want to train me?” I asked dubiously.

God, even repeating that out loud sounded insane. I stared back at the two soldiers with a puzzled look, not knowing what to say in return.

Nevertheless, they both nodded their heads and gave me expected looks.

“Many of us back at the camp think that you have a lot of potential,” one of them said.

I couldn't stop myself from pulling a doubtful expression.

“No offense to the offer, but I don’t think I’d make a very good soldier,” I said passively. “As you can see, I don’t exactly handle the repercussions of pain very well.”

The two men shared a light chuckle and shook their heads.

“You misunderstood us, Luna.”

“We have no intention of ever putting you in armor, much less letting you handle a weapon.”

“We were thinking more on the lines of self-defense. Mainly, hand-to-hand combat training. By building up those sorts of skills, it’s going to give you a better sense of control.”

The tension in my shoulders partially subsided.

“Really?” I asked.

“Absolutely,” they said. “You’ll be able to better control things like anger, fear, energy and focus.”

I bit the inside of my cheek. It sounded like the perfect thing I needed because right now, I was struggling to deal with every single one of those issues in my life.

“The only thing is...” His voice trailed off.

“What?”

The two soldiers shared a look before turning back to face me. “You won’t be able to wear the mask while you’re training.”

My heart slumped in my chest. I should have known there would be a catch to such a perfect opportunity. However, it made sense. While the mask provided the coverage I needed, it had horrible blind spots. Just the idea of thinking I could still have it on while training would only make things harder.

“Oh. Well...”

“If it makes you feel any better, we can guarantee you that you won’t be the only person there with scars.”

It really was a tempting offer.

“You know, that I’m thinking about it,” one of them hinted. “I’m surprised that you haven’t tried to find some kind of serum to help with those kinds of injuries.”

My eyes widened in shock.

“He’s got a point,” the other soldier chimed in. “You have a knack for working with plants and their medicinal properties. Everyone is still raving about the tea. There hasn’t been a single head cold outbreak since the winter started.”

My heart jumped into my throat. Granted I was never one for easily accepting any sort of praise, but it warmed me to know that what I’d been doing made some kind of a positive impact. Maybe I wasn’t ailing as a Luna...

Oliver’s firm tone sliced through the air. “Erik! Thomas! Return to your posts. Alexander will be addressing the group momentarily and your attendance is mandatory.”

Ah, so those were their names. Erik. Thomas.

I felt sheepish not having asked them their names at the beginning of the conversation. Unlike Liam’s pack, or even my family’s, Alexander’s pack was tripled in size. It was my job and responsibility to know each and every person.

Just knowing that I couldn’t even address these men by their names, made me feel like a failure.

That’s it. I can’t let myself wallow in my self-pitting nonsense anymore! I will not fail this pack the way that Samantha is actively failing her own.

“Erik. Thomas. Thank you for your offer,” I said. “I’m going to give it some serious thought. But, right now, there’s something else that I need to do.”

They both tipped their heads down and smiled. I wished them a good rest of their day and immediately turned on my heels. As I made my way back into the house, I passed Oliver.

“If anyone is looking for me, I’m going to be in the library for most of the day,” I said to him. “When you get a chance, could you pass on the number of Edward’s doctor to me, please?”

Oliver nodded his head and smiled. “Of course.”

...

Why hadn’t I thought of it sooner? Surely, there had to already have been some kind of essential oil or serum that worked to lessen the severity of the scars. Something that could better treat the torn tissue around the initial lacerations...

For the time being, I set aside my studies in Political Science and changed my direction. I scanned the bookcases for works on cicatrices, blemishes, and other disfigurements that were a result of an accident. From there, I went about digging through my usual books of natural herbs and remedies.

Erik and Thomas made a decent point. Why hadn’t I thought to create some sort of oil or serum that could help alleviate some of the tenderness and harsh visible effects of the scars?

It’s because of those damn memories from that night.

I’d fallen into a nasty cycle of not being able to do anything because all I could focus on was the pain, the looks on their faces, and the sheer trauma that clouded my mind.

What I needed was a new purpose—a new project that would drive my focus and attention. I was determined to develop something that could help me and anyone else who happened to be suffering from similar afflictions.

Within the hour, Oliver came to the library. He stopped short when he caught sight of the crazy setup I had going on around me. As usual, there were at least a dozen books stacked around me and this time I had endless notebooks with several paragraphs of notes and citations.

“Good God,” he commented. He glanced around to see the organized mess I’d created. “You know, I’m sure we could fit one of our smaller cots in here if you wanted.”

I gave a short laugh and shook my head.

“Are you kidding, then I’d never leave,” I said jokingly.

He reached out to hand me the number of the doctor. Based on his expression, I could tell there was something else going on behind his eyes.

“What is it?”

“Would you being in here, buried up to your eyes in papers, have anything to do with what Erik and Thomas were talking to you about earlier?” he questioned.

“Perhaps...” I gave a small smile. “They actually reached out to give me their condolences having heard about what happened with Isabella and Fiona. And, well, they offered to train me in some self-defense techniques.”

Oliver nodded his head. “It wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Alexander has been hinting around at the idea for a while now too. Did you agree to it?”

“I told them that I needed to think about it more. It’s been brought to my attention, rather abruptly, that I haven’t been able to properly perform my duties and responsibilities as Luna.”

“Evelyn, you must know that no one is holding any of that against you. Given the recent circumstances—”

“Oliver, I need this,” I said, gesturing around to the messy table in front of me. “I need to focus on something that’s going to potentially help people and, hopefully, myself. It may be the only way I’d be able to move on.”

He lowered his gaze to the floor and took a moment to speak up. “May I ask a direct question?”

I raised my brows. “Of course. You know you can always be honest with me.”

“Don’t you think Alexander has a right to be at your side while you’re going through this difficult time?”