Chapter 153

[Evelyn’s POV]

If I had known that I was going to be fighting for my sanity every time I felt myself drifting off, I would have never agreed to another sedative. I hadn’t thought much of it when Ian had rattled off some of the side effects of the medication as he packed up his equipment.

“If you feel yourself becoming a bit drowsy, don’t worry. Honestly, sleep is the best thing for you,” he claimed.

Perhaps, that was all well and good. Only sleep wasn’t possible.

Each and every time I found myself beginning to fall into the clutches of my exhaustion, I was greeted with clips and broken memories of my time in that circular room. Isabella’s ugly scowl and Fiona’s nasty sneer. The flash of the blade and ongoing jab of fists and hands.

The horrible, never-ending cackling of her own pain and misfortune.

It felt as though I was being tormented all over again—like I had entered a new hellish cycle.

What was I supposed to do? I was desperate for sleep but had no way of achieving real rest. It brought me back to the time when I had been drugged by that horrible aphrodisiac. Visions of Michael and what had almost transpired had haunted my dreams for numerous nights back then.

At the time, I at least had Alexander close by to ensure that I was safe and ward off the nightmares. I couldn’t even have that now. I longed to have the security again. But last time I checked, things weren’t exactly good between Alexander and me.

Before I made the decision to confront Isabella, he and I were not even on talking terms. Was he still upset about the whole matter as to why I agreed to the arranged marriage?

Maybe he’s not...

I happened to recall back to when I had first woken up. Alexander had been rushing around, himself, to ease my discomfort in any way he could. His expression was filled with indescribable anguish, making my heart clench in pain.

I hated it. I loathed the way he looked at me with pity. It made me fear that he would never look at me the same way again once Ian was ready to remove the gauze.

What was I to do? I felt even more trapped than when my arms and legs had actually been secured to that cursed table.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

My whole body went stiff as I watched the door to my room slowly creak open. I wasn’t sure who I was expecting to come walking in, but had deeply hoped that it wasn’t Alexander.

When I saw that it was Wendy, my heart inflated with a mixture of relief and raw emotion.

Her soft voice rolled over me in a cool, gentle wave.“Evelyn?”

“Y-Yes?” I croaked.

The older woman stepped further into the room with an air of caution as though one wrongful step was going to trigger me.

“Wendy, it’s alright,” I whispered. “You can come closer.”

Her features creased with worry, causing my stomach to flip.

“I know I shouldn’t be here. Ian said you needed to rest as much as you can.”

I shook my head. “I can’t.”

She instantly perked up with alarm. “Why? Do you need something? I can get one of the staff to—”

“No, no...I can’t fall asleep,” I admitted.

I really hadn’t intended to let my feelings get the better of me. But before I knew it, I felt tears clinging to the corners of my eyes. And I did my best to get the words out without sounding like I was on the brink of having another meltdown.

“I keep seeing them whenever I close my eyes,” I said. My breath became hitched in my lungs. “It just feels like one ongoing nightmare that I can’t wake up from.”

For the first time since I’ve met Wendy, I watched the woman’s expression crest with a forlorn sadness. The corners of her eyes creased as she reached out to rest her hand over my arm.

“I’m so sorry, my dear,” she said. “What if I called for Alexander?”

“No,” I refused. “I can’t handle the way he looks at me right now.”

Her brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Alexander looks at me like I’m some kind of pitiful victim.”

Wendy’s expression sombered for a moment. “Evelyn, you know I’ve come to see you as a real daughter these past few months, so I'm going to hold your hand when I say this...You are a victim. You were the target of several people’s rage and hatred. You know what else that makes you? A survivor.”

I stifled the sob that threatened to tear itself from the back of my throat. Wendy gave my uninjured hand a squeeze.

“And as for Alexander, believe me, the last thing my grandson feels is pity toward you. I saw the look on his face when he had brought you back to the house last night.” Her voice swelled with grief. “He looked so distraught—so tortured. It’s not pity. It’s guilt.”

I took my bottom lip between my teeth to keep it from trembling.

“Guilt?”

“He blames himself for not having been able to get to you sooner.”

I frantically shook my head. “B-But that’s ridiculous,” I cried. “None of this is his fault! I’m the one who made the impulsive decision to go over to the house.”

Wendy slowly nodded. “I know Alexander. There’s a very good chance that he feels as though he prompted you to take that kind of action after the argument the two of you had. When you left the house, I had gone to speak with him myself.”

“You did?”

“Yes. You are the best thing that has ever happened to him. And while you may think it is considerably beyond my place to have done such a thing, I hold no regrets. Alexander came to understand your position and was going to reach out and speak to you until he realized that you were already gone.”

Oh God. I had no idea what was worse. Knowing that Alexander blamed himself for my condition or knowing that had not been so impulsive none of this would have likely happened.

Unfortunately, Fiona’s torment went a lot deeper than her blade had. She’d mentioned a few things regarding Alexander and our relationship—things that managed to needle their way under my skin like thorns.

“...If you think about it, Alexander never even needed a wife. He was doing just fine on his own until you came along and fucked everything up for everyone...”

What truly pained me was that there was a very likely chance that what Fiona had said back then may not be a lie.

“There’s still a lot he and I need to talk about,” I said.

“Of course. I should leave you to rest then.”

I found myself speaking out before I could think.

“Wait...Would you...Would you mind staying? Until I fall asleep?” I asked sheepishly.

Wendy happily nodded her head and told me to close my eyes. I curled my hand around hers and made myself take in numerous deep breaths. I made my promise to myself that once I got enough rest, I would set aside my insecurities and speak to Alexander.

In the meantime, Wendy’s voice lulled me into a gentle sleep.

“Don’t worry, dear. Everything is going to work out. And those who have hurt you are going to face the consequences.”