Chapter 62

“Oh no,” Anton says, pressing an earnest hand to his chest as he grins at Orion, leaning forward. “You see, June and I are a package deal. Anyone who dates her gets me too, fifteen feet away at all times, just hanging out. Which I think, for you, is a win. A Bride and a Bro, all in one go.”

Orion laughs at this – really laughs, and Anton grins back, pleased that his humor has again distracted someone from the truth. Because Anton hasn’t even addressed that question with himself – not really – let alone this prince. Even if his wolf does scratch him in his soul, letting him know that he’s lying to himself.

“So?” Anton says, pushing and further deflecting as he lounges back against the couch arm. “Why June?”

“I don’t know,” Orion sighs, letting himself slump against the couch as he stares off into the distance. “There’s something about her, isn’t there?”

Anton hums, supportive and noncommittal, something his therapist used to do to get him to continue.

“She’s just…I mean, she’s beautiful,” Orion says to begin, meeting Anton’s eyes again. “But also challenging and very…real. I like that about her. Juniper seems to live a very vivid life, committed to her own sense of…ethics. It’s hard to not want her to approve of you.”

“And it’s torture,” Anton fills in, “when she doesn’t.”

“Yeah,” Orion sighs.

Anton quirks his head to the side. “Does that, by any chance, describe either of your parents?”

Orion sits up straighter. “What?”

“Your parents,” Anton says, perfectly casual. “Growing up, were either of them…vivid and challenging? Bowling through life according to their own ethics and sweeping up others in their wake? Someone who…you really wanted to approve of you, who you struggled to impress?”

Orion groans and falls back on the couch, turning his head dramatically to the side.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Anton murmurs, sympathetic.

“I think you are a therapist,” Orion mutters. “Or at least, utterly wasted as an assassin.”

“Nah, I was gonna be kickass at that too,” Anton sighs, looking away, allowing himself just a moment to miss life at the Alpha Academy, his friendships, the life that was leading to. It really was going to be very good.

But here, with June...well. This is much more stressful, but he still wouldn’t trade it.

“It’s my dad,” Orion sighs, looking at the bookshelf like he’s just realized a great and horrible truth about himself. “The way I talk about June is…also the way I think about my dad. Please take that in the least gross way possible.”

“Nah, it makes a lot of sense,” Anton murmurs, gentle. “A lot of people grow up chasing the thing they never got as a child. Sometimes it’s reparative, finding someone who reminds them of a withholding parent and making them love them where the parent did not. Or sometimes it’s just…the only love they know. The love that feels familiar.”

Orion turns his gaze back to Anton and doesn’t say anything.

“Either way,” Anton continues. “It’s not…great. I mean, Juniper’s wonderful but she’s…hard. And if you go into loving her looking for her to either heal or replicate what you had as a child…it’s not right. Especially if the relationship you’re replicating wasn’t a very healthy one.”

“So, what do I do?” Orion sits up again, staring hard at Anton.

“You get to know her, man,” Anton says, leaning forward in turn. “Actually get to know her, probably on her terms. And figure out if you love her – if she fills you with joy – or if you just love the idea of her. Some kind of…repeat of your past.”

“Damn,” Orion whispers. “I should pay you.”

“I will accept money,” Anton says, nodding. “Or, if you can re-alive me in exchange for some very basic therapeutic insight, that would be fine too.”

Orion laughs, but there’s a sadness to it. And Anton just shrugs, because he knew that little request wasn’t going to go far.

“You should get to know the other girls too,” Anton says. “Figure out which one really makes you feel…good. Feel whole. And maybe that doesn’t mean challenged, or maybe it does. One of these girls is supposed to be your mate, right? Well, stop relying on weird spells and mystic prophecy to find her.” Anton casts a hand out here towards the divination supplies still on the table. “Just go…find your girl.”

“How…do I do that?”

“Just…get to know them, man,” Anton says, grinning at his friend and laughing a little.

Orion just narrows his eyes. “But…how?”

Anton laughs harder. “Okay, that date you took Laila on. Nice date, right?”

“Yes, it was very nice.”

“But did you…get to know anything about her? Really?”

“She told me much about her kingdom,” Orion says, his eyes going far off as he remembers. “Their crops and the yield of the sea. And about her role as a Princess, how it trained her to be a Queen?”

“See!?” Anton says, smacking Orion on the arm and drawing the Prince’s frowning attention back to him. “None of that is about who Laila really is! She’s the sweetest girl, but super uptight! She loves being a hostess and she hates when things are out of order, but she’s not so uptight that she can’t stand a bit of temporary mess. And she’s got the biggest heart – she loves her sisters and really sees the good in people –“

Orion’s frown deepens. “How do you know all that. I mean, I spent hours alone with her – I don’t know any of that.”

“Because,” Anton says, smacking his hands hard on Orion’s shoulders, making him flinch. “I hang out with her.” He shakes the prince a little, making him see. “I just sit, and talk to her, without any pretenses! It’s great!”

Orion just frowns like he still doesn’t get it.

“Oh for heaven’s sake,” Anton murmurs. “Look, I’ll help you, okay? Just…” he again glances towards the bathroom door where Juniper is taking a suspiciously long time. “We’re still doing the divination thing tonight, right?”

“Oh,” Orion says, cocking his head. “I forgot about that. But yeah, sure.”

“Cool,” Anton says. “Just…come over later, okay? And Laila and June will be here, and I’ll talk June down and…” he shrugs, “we’ll hang out. And you can actually start to get to know both of them as well as learn some skills to figure out if you like any of these other girls as well.”

“You’re being…really nice to me,” Orion says, frowning at Anton.

“We are the only members of the Underworld Bro Club, my friend,” Anton says, clapping a hand on Orion’s shoulder and looking at him steadily. “If we don’t have each other’s backs, what do we have?”

And to Anton’s extreme surprise, Orion leans forward and folds his arms around him in a hug. “Thank you,” he murmurs. “Seriously, Anton. Thank you.”

“You got it, my guy,” Anton murmurs, hugging him back and patting him on the back. “You got it.”

And inwardly Anton feels…just a little sad that the jokes he’s made about being Orion’s only friend…might be a little truer than he thought they were.

I come out of the bathroom a significant amount of time later, long after the murmuring conversation of boys has faded. I mean, it’s not that I really mind Anton talking to Orion about whatever it is they talked about. I just…really didn’t want to be part of it.

Witholding, my wolf accuses, nipping me a bit in the soul as I come out of the bathroom wearing a very cute black sweater and soft pants. You like it when Orion knows you’re mad at him, because it gives you leverage.

But I just toss my hair over my shoulder, ignoring her, even if she’s right. Instead of addressing that point, I cross to Anton, who lounges on the couch, peering at a book on the table.

“Thank god,” he says, looking up at me with an exhausted expression. “I’ve been on the same page for like, an hour.”

I laugh and flip it for him, but Anton just turns and grins at me, clearly implying that he’d rather spend time with me instead.

An implication that gives me a great deal of joy.

“So,” I say, tucking my hands girlishly behind my back and twisting back and forth. “What do you wanna do?”

He purses his lips for a second and then shrugs. “Well, we had a long list of things we were going to accomplish while we’re here and under house arrest. Want to start with me teaching you how to kill people?”

And I gasp with joy, delighted at this prospect. “Princess Assassin!” I whisper, quite pleased.

“Magical Princess Assassin,” Anton says, grinning and getting up. “With secret Underworld rizz.”

I laugh as Anton waves me to the center of the room, eager as hell to get started.