Chapter 55

“Anton,” I sigh, shaking my head, “you’re going to think I’m so stupid –“

“I promise you,” he insists, “I’m not. Please, June.”

I sigh again, pulling back a little, taking a deep breath. Anton lets me go and I cross my arms over my chest, feeling terribly self-conscious. But I close my eyes, pretending that I’m alone, and force myself to begin.

“Look,” I mutter. “You don’t know what it was like to grow up in our family. Everyone is so great, and so lovely, and so supportive, but they’re all around. Like all the time.”

A soft exhale from Anton lets me know that he’s listening, and that he understands.

“Which is why…when my mom got me my piano? And I started taking lessons? It was…more than just liking the music, Anton, it was…time just for me. Something just for me. It was peace and it was freedom – it was escape – it was…was mine.”

I open my eyes and look up at him now. His own are completely sympathetic as he listens with his whole heart.

“I just…I love it so much,” I say, shaking my head, my voice getting squeaky as I press my hands to my chest. “First because I love the music, and second because…” I hesitate but then shrug, because it’s true. “Well, because I’m really good at it.”

Anton grins now, already proud of me.

“But mostly,” I continue, rushing on, “because it was mine, something only I could do in this family full of ridiculously talented people, and because I could keep it to myself! My secret! This place I could go? Like…into the music?”

I shake my head, knowing it sounds ridiculous that I think of music as a place, as a refuge. I’m very aware that that doesn’t make any sense, even if it’s incredibly true to me. But…the way that Anton looks at me makes me feel like it’s not ridiculous at all.

“It’s so important to me, Anton. I’ve never shared it because it will feel like…being naked out there, on that stage. More than naked. It’s so personal – it’s my…entire heart bared for everyone to hear, and to know, and to judge. And I know no one gets that but…” I shrug. “It’s how I feel.”

“I understand,” Anton murmurs, cupping my cheek in his palm, nodding to me. “It makes a lot of sense, June. I mean, can you change it? And do…something else?”

I scowl, looking down at my feet. “That’s what I’ve been trying to think of all day and night. Something else – anything else. But I don’t have any talents to speak of.”

“Besides, apparently, a musical prodigy.”

I huff an angry sigh and look up at him, frowning. Because he’s…not wrong. By the time I was sixteen my parents couldn’t even find an instructor good enough to teach me anything new. After that, I just…went off on my own, teaching myself new genres, learning things by ear, running through sheet music like sheets of paper towels. Writing my own.

Anton smiles at me, his pride clearly growing when he realizes he was correct.

“Oh screw ‘em, June,” he murmurs. “Just get up there and pack a suitcase.”

I groan, letting my head fall dramatically back. “But if I do that, that Death jackass is going to think I’m again thumbing my nose at the competition and kick me out and go get Rosie or something.”

Anton is quiet for a moment, clearly considering this. When I lift my head I see him looking at me, his mouth pressed together.

“I know,” I sigh, looking aside. “I have to play. It makes sense. I’m just…being a huge baby about it.”

“For what it’s worth, June,” Anton murmurs, stepping close to me. “Listening to the piano is really boring for people who aren’t musical – which is most people. Especially if you play something complicated and classical, everyone’s going to lose interest in like half a second and forget it ever happened.”

I whip my head back to stare at him in shock for a second, and then I burst out laughing.

“Oh, god,” he mutters, wrapping his arms around me again. “Thank god, I was so worried about you. To hear you laugh again, June.”

“Oh, shut up, you jerk,” I mutter, laughing a little still as I close my eyes and lean into the tingly feel of him all around me.

“I’m sorry, June,” he sighs. “I’m sorry this is so hard for you – harder than actually being naked in front of all these people, which you didn’t actually seem to mind that much. You just didn’t like being ordered to do it.”

“Thanks,” I reply, genuinely meaning it. It is quite nice to have Anton there, always on my side. But then I sigh, sufficiently chuffed and broken out of my miserable spell, stepping back and shaking myself a little, looking down at myself. “Is this…really so bad?”

I spread my hands down over my black dress, which is indeed high-necked and tight at the wrists, falling in a straight line down to the floor. I mean, it certainly reflects my austere, don’t-look-at-me-mood.

“Yes, please, June,” Anton groans. “Please, I’m begging you – change out of that and then burn it.”

I laugh again, flapping a hand at him. “Fine, fine,” I sigh. “Well, then, what would you suggest I wear?”

When I appear at the auditorium where the show will be held, my hand firmly in Nic’s and Anton at my side in his wolf form, I am dressed differently indeed.

My gown is still black, of course. But it barely skims my shoulders before dipping into a low neckline and then falling all the way to the ground in a wave of sparkling fabric that flows behind me in a six-foot train.

Dramatic? Yes. But powerful too. Anton looks up at me with a wolfish smile, his eyes still full of encouragement and appreciation.

I groan when I look around and see that the room is absolutely packed with people.

“You’d better stay near,” I growl at Anton. He yips and turns in an excited circle, his promise clear. “You go away,” I say, turning to look up at Nic with a grimace. “The fewer people who see this the better.”

“Why?” he asks, frowning at me. “Are you bad?”

“No,” I sigh, turning my head back to the group of Contestants gathering in front of the stage and starting towards them, dread in my heart. “I’m fantastic.”

Nic gives a startled laugh behind me. “Well, there’s no way I’m leaving now!”

I just wave to him over my shoulder, resigned to it. As we approach the other girls, Orion at their center, Anton stays flush to my side.

“Junie!” Laila calls, dashing for me the moment she sets eyes on me. She gasps as she wraps me in a fond hug. “Oh, darling, you look incredible,” she says, stepping back to cast her eyes over me again, looking rather stunned.

“Thank you, he picked it,” I say, gesturing hastily towards Anton, who again gives an excited yip of pride and confirmation.

“Well done, you,” Laila says, bending down to grin at our friend.

“But you,” I say, refocusing now on her own gown. “Laila…” I shake my head, rather blown away by the complicated grey and blue and green gown which wraps around her in elaborate folds. “This is so beautiful – like something I’ve never seen before…”

“Thanks!” she says, blushing prettily. “It’s traditional. We wear it for our national dance –“

“Oh, wolf is here!” Beatrice sings, dashing over to make a fuss over Anton, who preens as usual at the attention. She grins up at me next. “Are you going to make him jump through hoops? Is that your talent?”

I blink in surprise, staring down at him. “Why the hell didn’t we think of that?”

“Because he’s too handsome to do that,” Beatrice coos, stroking her hands over Anton’s starlit fur. “It’s beneath his dignity.”

“Is it?” I ask, my flat tone implying that it patently is not. Anton ignores me, letting Beatrice fuss.

“If you think he’s handsome now,” Orion says, wandering over to us and looking absolutely devastating in a black tuxedo. “Wait till you see his other form.”

“What?” Beatrice asks, looking up at Orion.

Orion, looking devious now as well as dashing, idly lifts up a hand and snaps his fingers.

Anton growls, glaring at the Prince, and continues to growl even as he shifts into his human body. “God damn it, Orion,” he mutters, shaking his head as all of the Contestants gasp.

Beatrice slaps her hands over her mouth, looking up at Anton’s tall, handsome form in horror. “You’re…you’re a guy?”

“Sorry,” he says, shrugging as he looks down at her. “I know – I’m much more appealing as my wolf.”

She stares at him for a long, long moment and then gives a horrified squeak, turning and running away.

“That wasn’t very nice of you,” Anton says, shaking his head at Orion as all of the other girls stare at him, awed or shocked, I can’t tell which. My wolf growls, though, at those of my competition who look at him with any sort of appreciation in their eyes.

Orion grimaces, running a hand through his hair as he looks after Beatrice. “I didn’t think she’d react that way. Sorry,” he says, glancing at us. “I have to go…apologize.”

“He’s been doing a lot of that lately,” I murmur, stepping close to Anton and looking up at him, honestly a little glad to have the secret out so he can be here as a guy instead of a wolf.

“An apology tour, yeah,” Anton murmurs, watching as Orion moves through the crowd after Beatrice. “Do you think he’s going to kiss her too?”

My mouth falls open as Anton turns back to me, a smirk on his lips.

Because…how did he know that? Was he spying again!?

But all the horror I’m feeling is wiped away from me and replaced with new terror, much more vivid, much worse, when the curtains begin to draw back from the stage and reveal – right at the front of the stage – a beautiful grand piano.

Black, shiny, magnificent. And, right now? My worst nightmare.