Chapter 71

I am going to raise the baby. My decision doesn’t come all at once, but slowly over the course of the morning. It starts as a quiet thought, an idea, but every time I look down at my stomach the that thought begins to solidify.

I try to be logical, to weigh the consequences the way I would any patrol rotation or case assignment. I make a mental list of everything I have to lose. I think about the stress of raising this child alone, and about the future I fought for.

None of it outweighs the love I already feel. Despite everything, despite how afraid I am, despite how wrong the timing is, my heart has already decided.

I can’t give it up. Just because I never thought my path would involve kids doesn’t mean I haven’t wanted them. It doesn’t mean I haven’t grieved that part of myself when I knew I would live my life without a mate.

I don’t tell anyone, I can’t. My only solace is Nara. Her comforting presence grounds me and I try to figure out how to make this work.

She doesn’t say much but I feel the intensity of her love and support steadying me like an anchor as I plan. She’s been waiting for me to reach this conclusion on my own, and even though part of me still resents her silence, I understand it now.

In the quiet hours between meetings and drills, I figure out what I need to do. I know I’ll have to leave. I’ve seen enough pregnancies to know the signs will start to show before long, and once they do, it will be impossible to hide.

One year. That’s what I tell myself. If I can disappear for one year, carry and raise the baby in secret I can hide the child’s connection and my bond with Kaine.

The potion isn’t an option anymore. Even if I can get my hands on another dose, I won’t risk it now. The side effects are too unpredictable.

The potion was taxing on my body when it was only my own. It would be twice as bad now. I won’t take that risk with someone else’s life.

No one will question the absence if it’s framed correctly. I am the acting captain; it will be easy to falsify a mission that would take me away from the palace.

I will say I met someone in my absence, and no one will ever suspect Kaine. I will restart the bond suppressant upon my return, the better one this time, and no one will be wiser.

He can’t be implicated. He doesn’t even know. I won’t let this ruin him.

I’ll have to work out the details later, but I know it will have to be soon. I already feel the changes in my body. I am quick to fatigue and the

My muscles don’t recover the way they used to after training. My balance is slightly off when I pivot too quickly in drills. I hide it well enough, but I know it won’t last.

Another reason to leave is the way this pregnancy is making me react to Kaine. When he’s near, it’s harder to think straight. My skin becomes more sensitive, my breath shallower.

The connection I’ve tried so hard to suppress hums just beneath the surface. I feel it growing stronger every day, a silent thread tugging me in his direction. Even now, just thinking about him makes my pulse start to race under my skin.

Despite my desire, the thought of Kaine still stings. He doesn’t even know what happened, and now I will bear his child. Every time I pass him in the hall or see him speaking to Bianca, it feels like my world is falling apart.

Still, he will be a good ruler. I’ve always believed that, and our personal relationship hasn’t changed that. I won’t get in the way of his future. I won’t let this pregnancy derail his path to the throne.

Despite everything that’s happened between us, I still want him to succeed. I still believe he’s the best hope this kingdom has. That’s what matters now. That’s what has to come first.

If I can help protect his place as heir before I leave, then it will all be worth it. The best way to do that is to finish what we started with the Chantarelle case.

If the Queen is undermining the crown through Lady Chantarelle’s family, exposing that connection could secure Kaine’s position and unravel whatever power she’s been building in secret. I don’t know how deep her involvement goes yet, but I will expose what I can.

There’s something in the land records. In the deeds. In the way that estate was scrubbed clean just before our visit. The urgency of it claws at me more now that I have something to lose.

I throw myself into the case. Harder than ever. I reopen every old file, no matter how minor the detail.

I cross reference property records with shipment logs. I dig into the names listed on old contracts and background check archives. Some nights I forget to sleep until Nara gives me a nudge, reminding that it’s not just my heath I need to worry about anymore.

Other nights, I rest in a chair by the window with my boots still on, maps still open across my desk. When the nausea becomes unbearable, I sip water and work through it. I don’t have time to slow down.

I insist on meeting Jake after hours to coordinate next steps. We go through the findings together in low voices. I keep notes on every new name, every shift in ownership, every oddity in the records.

Jake doesn’t ask why I’m so driven now. He just works beside me, happy to help his Alpha.

He glances at me sometimes like he wants to say something, but he never does for that I’m grateful.

By the end of the week, I’ve gathered enough new findings to justify another strategy meeting with Kaine. I send word through Jake and prepare a full report. I stay up late organizing the notes until everything is laid out in the clearest way possible.

I don’t let myself think about what it will feel like to be near him again, to hear his voice, to smell his scent. I don’t think about the night that changed everything. I don’t let myself imagine his expression if he ever finds out the truth.

Instead, I pack the folders, fasten the buttons on my jacket, and prepare to face him as the captain of the guard. Nothing more.

For now, that’s all I can afford to be. Someday when I return, I’ll be something else too. I won’t just be a guard or a scared wolf hiding her mark. I’ll be a mother.

The thought warms my chest and grounds me in a way I didn’t expect. I’m scared, but I am also filled with a strange sort of certainty. I already love this baby with all of my heart.

I tighten my grip on the reports and blow out a breath. I will focus on my pregnancy and everything that entail later. For now, I still have a job to do, and I won’t let myself fail.