Chapter 65

Kaine

The headache starts before I even open my eyes. My mouth is dry, my limbs feel heavy, and the world around me feels too loud.

I sit up slowly, blinking against the light coming through the tall windows. My shirt is unbuttoned, and my jacket is slung over the arm of the chair across from me. I’m still in my office. I must have fallen asleep here last night, but I don’t remember lying down.

What I do remember is heat. I remember the sensation of warm hands, and hot skin, and a body pressing close. I remember a kiss, so deep and demanding that sensations of wanting and needing blurred together until they were indistinguishable.

Bianca’s face flashes behind my eyes. I remember kissing her and then feeling wrong and rushing out of the room. She must have been worried by the sudden change and decided to follow me. She must have stayed as I lost control.

A deep sense of shame rises in my chest. I should have locked the door. I shouldn’t have allowed anyone near me in that state. What if I had hurt her?

Later, I see Bianca on her way to Luna training and I hasten to catch up. She looks pleased to see me, as if nothing has changed.

“Did you sleep well?” she asks lightly.

I hesitate. “You’re okay with what happened in my office last night?”

Her eyes widen for a fraction of a second. Then she smiles. “Of course I was,” she says gently. “I’ve been patient, but I was beginning to think you had lost interest in me.”

She steps closer, her voice lowering. “I’m glad we finally… connected.”

I nod slowly, unsure of myself. Something doesn’t feel right.

Rafe doesn’t speak, but I can feel him restless beneath the surface. I’m not the only one feeling uneasy about the situation.

I try to shake it off. It’s probably my own guilt. Bianca seems pleased, I should have fought harder to stay in control what if I had done injured her?

Later in the week, I’m called to meet with the Queen. She’s standing by the windows when I enter, her gaze fixed on something below

“You’ve been distracted,” she says without turning around. “The captain’s betrayal and the failed mission reflects poorly on you. You were in charge, you should have anticipated these problems.”

I clench my jaw but say nothing. She’s right.

“The kingdom can’t afford leadership that fails to see corruption.”

I bow my head slightly. “It won’t happen again.”

“See that it doesn’t.”

Afterward, I find Jake in his office. He looks up from a stack of reports.

“I’m moving forward with the engagement,” I say.

Jake raises a brow. “The Queen?”

“She’s growing more vocal in her disapproval of me. The pressure’s not going away.”

He nods. “So, the banquet?”

“We reschedule. Soon.”

He shifts uncomfortably. “And the security arrangements?”

“Ember will oversee it.”

Jake nods again, slower this time.

Ember

Jake summons me to his office the next morning. He doesn’t waste time. “Prince Kaine has decided to move forward with the engagement,” he says. “You’ve been asked to oversee security for the banquet.”

I don’t react outwardly. I nod and keep my voice even as I accept the assignment.

I walk back to my office without hearing the sounds around me. My vision starts blur, but I blink back my tears bas I open the door and shut it softly behind me, pressing my hand to the wood for longer than necessary.

Security. I’ve been tasked with ensuring every detail of their celebration goes perfectly. I’m to organize guard rotations, manage the event perimeter, review guest lists, anticipate vulnerabilities, and keep the evening running smooth and safe.

For the woman who will become his wife. My hands don’t shake at first, not until I reach for the schedules. I go through the pages slowly, searching for the appropriate form to begin the planning process.

I pull a blank sheet from the drawer and ready my pen. A tear hits the corner of the paper as I hesitate.

Kaine is marrying Bianca. Nothing has changed. Whatever happened between us was nothing more than a moment of weakness. It hadn’t meant anything to him.

When I committed to keeping my secret, I had told myself I could handle this. That I could remain in my post, stay composed, and put duty first, but now that I’m here with this request on my desk, it feels unbearable.

The memory of his hands on my skin still lingers. I think about the way he looked at me, the way he kissed me, the way I let myself believe that maybe he felt the bond too. I had let myself believe that things could change, and now I have to pretend it didn’t happen.

Each item I write down for the banquet’s security feels like a blow to the face. Notes on exit routes, contingency planning, guest screening litter the paper. These are all tasks I’ve done before, but this time every word feels like a betrayal.

I’m the one ensuring his union with someone else is safe. I’m the one making sure nothing interrupts the day he dedicates himself publicly to another woman.

I want to scream. I want to tear the paper in half, shove everything off the desk, and throw my files against the wall. I want to curse the Moon Goddess for giving me another mate at all, but instead, I sit quietly and do the job I was given.

I chose this. I chose to stay hidden. I chose to protect my role, my place, my future. I chose the guard uniform and the responsibility and the lie. I told myself it was enough. I told myself I could handle it.

That afternoon, Kaine stops by with a file. I take it without looking. Maybe I chose this but he’s the one who pulled me close last night. As he turns to leave, he pauses at the door.

“Did you have a quiet night yesterday?”

It feels like he’s slapped me. “Yes,” I say. “Quiet.”

He studies me for half a second and then leaves.

I close the door behind him and lean against it, struggling to breathe. He doesn’t remember, and if he’s moving forward with the engagement… he thinks it was Bianca.

I slide to the floor slowly, knees pulled in. I press a hand to my mouth, not to stifle a sob, but to hold myself together.

I had believed it meant something. I thought that he felt our bond, even if he couldn’t name it, and that we were finally on the same path, but he doesn’t even know it was me.

He doesn’t know what we shared. I want to scream, but the room is too quiet. The palace is too full of ears, so I stay there until my hands stop shaking. Then I return to my task.

I begin drafting security protocols. I comb through guest names. I map routes and review the guard roster.

Each stroke of my pen feels like the cut of a blade, but I refuse to stop, until it feels like I’ve bled out. When that’s done, once I’m empty the wall around my heart is complete. I will not let it down again.