Chapter 62

Kaine

Bianca waits outside the training hall. Her posture is relaxed, almost casual, but her eyes scan my face the moment I step through the doorway.

“I just finished my politics session,” she says brightly. “My tutor thinks I’m making progress. He mentioned I might be ready to sit in on a real trade meeting next month.”

I nod without stopping. She falls into step beside me, undeterred.

“I’ve been trying to keep up with all the material,” she continues. “History, diplomacy, everything. I even stayed late after my session yesterday to review with my combat tutor.”

“That’s good,” I say. My voice is flat. It is all I can offer her right now.

She looks up at me, searching. “You haven’t said much lately.”

“I have been busy.”

“I know,” she says. “But I want you to know I’m trying. This isn’t what I’m used to, what I learned at the girl’s academy, but I’m trying. I just want to be someone you can be proud of.”

We reach the door to the meeting room I’m supposed to be in and I stop walking. “I’m glad you’re doing well.”

There is a pause.

“I was hoping we could talk later,” she says. “Just us. After your meetings.”

“I don’t have time today.”

Her smile falters, just slightly. “All right. Maybe another time.”

She lingers a moment longer, then finally turns and walks away. Her back is straight, but I can see the stiffness in her shoulders.

Rafe pushes forward in my thoughts. I can feel that he is just as tired as I am.

“There’s a reason you do not want to be near her.”

She is still my mate.

“But you still do not feel the bond the way you should. Maybe that means something.”

I say nothing. I have heard this before, but his time, I don’t push it aside.

I keep thinking about the captain and the night I stopped him outside Ember’s tent. I do not know what Bianca said to him during that quiet conversation they shared in the days before. I dn’t know if it matters. I only know the timing is hard to ignore.

Bianca has said nothing suspicious. She has not overstepped. She behaves the way a future Luna is expected to behave, but something feels off. There is a false note beneath her careful words, her patience, her grace.

I haven’t accused her, and I won’t without evidence, but I cannot forget the way she disregarded Ember’s safety after she was stabbed by a poison dagger. I cannot shake the feeling I had when she said she would be getting what she “deserved” when she spoke about becoming Luna.

She wasn’t focused on me; she was focused on the title. Still, those things could have been lapses in judgement, easily swept aside if it wasn’t for that conversation with the captain. What had been said?

Rafe is quiet now, but I know he is still paying attention. He has been wary of her for longer than I have. It used to frustrate me, but now I am starting to understand.

I dismiss the thought and return to my office. Jake arrives a short while later with the updated patrol logs.

“The Eastern sector is on track now,” he says. “The shifts have been transitioning more smoothly since the schedule change.”

I scan the logs. “That was Ember’s adjustment.”

Jake nods. “She’s good at catching inconsistencies. Things are already beginning to get back on track.”

I keep reading.

“Are the senior guards giving her pushback?”

“Not anymore,” Jake says. “They’ve started copying her format.”

He hesitates, then adds, “Most of them are saying she should stay on as acting captain.”

“She will. For now.”

“Then I’d recommend letting them know that officially,” Jake says. “People are starting to speculate.”

“I will address it.”

Jake shifts his weight but does not leave.

“You’ve already reviewed the incident report from the mission,” he says. “but it seems like someone gave him an advantage whether they meant to or not.”

“I am aware.”

Jake nods once more. “Let me know if you need help.”

He leaves without asking further questions. I sit alone with the patrol records, but none of it holds my attention. I think again of the moment I sat with her in the infirmary, the warmth of her hand in mine. The moment that should not have happened, the one I can’ seem to forget.

Ember

I spend most of the day pretending to feel nothing. I read. I review. I adjust patrol rotations until the words begin to blur on the page. Still, nothing silences the replay in my mind.

The kiss.

He had reached for me like it meant something. He had brushed his fingers over mine, hesitant but with intention. I had looked at him and seen what I wanted to believe was real. I kissed him back because I thought he meant it.

Now, I am not so sure. He did not speak about it the next morning. He came into my office and gave orders as if nothing had happened at all.

When we finally acknowledged it, the words were cold. He called it a mistake. I agreed, because I had to.

I was not ready for how empty I would feel afterward. I sit at my desk and move the maps aside, trying to breathe past the ache that still lingers in my side.

The pain from the mission has dulled, but it has not gone. Neither has the memory of his hand in mine or the way I let myself believe that night was changing. He said it himself once, he could only marry Bianca.

I remind myself of what I already know. Kaine is engaged. He has obligations. He has a kingdom to run and a Luna already chosen.

Even if I revealed the truth about the bond, it would not change anything. I am not Luna material, Bianca is. He would reject me and I would lose everything I have worked for.

The kiss wasn’t even reckless anymore. It was humiliating, because for one breathless second, I let myself hope it meant something. That maybe, Kaine was finally seeing me the way I saw him.

Now I see the truth. I am the one who let it happen. He was overwhelmed, guilty and I gave in.

I should have expected things to return to normal. He acts the way he always has, distant. The moments of warmth between us are just that moments, not signifiers of anything more.

It was a mistake. We agreed. That should be enough.

A knock breaks through the silence. I do not rise.

“Come in.”

Kaine enters. His tone is neutral. He gives me a summary of the latest shifts and mentions one adjustment to the northern patrol. I nod, mark it down, and thank him.

I try to avoid his gaze, but can’t help but notice that he watches me a second longer than necessary. Then he turns and leaves.

I let out a breath as the door closes. Nara is restless, agitated by his presence and my lack of action.

“You still want him to choose you.”

I say nothing.

“You still think he might.”

“I cannot afford to think like that.”

She is silent again.

I return to the logs. I remind myself that I am a guard. That is all I can be.

I am not the kind of woman a prince chooses. I am not soft or quiet or delicate. I am not someone the kingdom would accept standing beside him, and I will not give up everything for the press of a hand on mine and a kiss that only I seem to remember.