Chapter 37

Ollie’s POV

Panic makes my pulse race so hard that my heart hurts. I press my hand to my chest, and only then realize how shallow and quick I’m breathing.

Am I having a panic attack? Is this what that feels like? I can’t catch my breath, and my thoughts are out of control.

Ella steps closer to me and placing a hand on my shoulder asks, “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

“It’s alright, honey,” Abigail says through the phone. I can hear them both but they are so far away.

“I sent it,” I say. Maybe I’m saying that a lot. It’s hard to tell. “I’m sure I sent it.”

“They didn’t get it?” Ella asks.

I shake my head.

Ella curses. “The application deadline’s passed.”

I know. I know that. I know.

“I missed my chance… I’m going to be stuck here forever,” I say.

“Let’s all take a breather for a moment, okay?” Abigail says through the phone. “In and out, okay? A few deep breaths.”

Her compassion for me, despite not knowing me or anything about me, helps me eventually calm down enough to not be suffering through an active panic attack.

I still don’t feel good, my stomach all tied up in knots. And even my heart hurts, my disappointment so palpable. But I feel less in danger now, more sad than urgently collapsing.

“There, that’s better,” Abigail says. “Now, let’s talk this through. When did you send your application?”

I tell her the exact date, which had been several days ago.

“It should have arrived here well before the application deadline then, even from that distance,” she says and types on her computer. “If it got lost in the mail, it just isn’t right to exclude you… Hold on a minute, Ollie.”

The hold music returns to my ear.

“What is she saying?” Ella asks.

“She put me on hold.”

“That’s good, right?” Ella asks. “That means she’s maybe fighting for you?”

I’m not so sure. The application deadline has passed. What more can she do? Yes, Abigail seems nice and she works at the admissions office. But she’s not a miracle worker.

I don’t want to be defeatist, but once more, I feel the weight of misfortune try to knock me down.

“Don’t give up,” Ella says. “Think positively. At least, don’t get bummed before we hear what she has to say.”

As we wait, I think about what could have happened to my letter. It’s possible it got lost in the mail but typically the mail couriers are more responsible than that. Whenever something does get lost, it creates a huge scandal in the pack.

The old Alpha, the man I once thought to be my father, even said in the past, “Communication within and outside of the pack is vital to maintaining peace and understanding.” Phones and emails might have moved in, slowly replacing the importance of snail mail, but snail mail still has its place.

While it is possible that my letter is simply lost, perhaps caught in one of the sorting machines or dropped between the cushions of the mail truck, I’m not sure if I believe it.

I have no proof other than a suspicion, but…

In my mind, I keep seeing Declan sorting through the mail with a contemplative stare, his deft fingers combing through each envelope.

When I sent out my envelope, I had left it among the other outgoing mail, thinking it was safe.

What if someone found it before it went out?

What if the reason Declan didn’t call me on my lie about a sweepstakes was because he knew just what I was waiting for?

Did he go through the farce, combing through the mail, all while knowing what I’m searching for wouldn’t be there?

Did he feel some joy at my expense, watching me squirm with worry while he purposefully, slowly plucked through the letters?

Again, I have no evidence. It could only be bitter resentment of the way I’ve been treated by the brothers lately that has me want to throw the blame on them.

Yet, I can’t help but wonder…

If I get another chance, I will need to be more careful in the future.

I had thought the brothers simply didn’t care about me before, but lately, I don’t know… It almost feels like they actively despise me. And if that shift has occurred, I can’t put it past them to want to try to ruin my life just like Sylvia does.

“Ollie,” Abigail says, taking me off hold. “Are you still there?”

“Yes,” I say.

“Good news. I’ve spoken with the head of admissions, and we want to give you another chance to submit.”

My heart leaps into my throat as hope floods through me. “Really?”

“Yes, but you need to act quickly. You need to get an application in the mail postmarked today, okay?” Abigail says. “Can you do that?”

I don’t know. I’ll have to go to the guidance office at school to get another application, but… yes. I will make this happen.

No more feeling defeated. No more letting bad things happen.

I’m going to take my life by the reins and lead it to where I want it to go, Omega or not.

“I’ll make it happen,” I say.

With a smile in her voice, Abigail says, “I’ll keep an eye out for it.”

Ella accompanies me to the guidance office. While most of the students are on break now, the main facilities of the school remain open, offering assistance, especially to seniors who need help with their university admissions.

The employees at the guidance office are there specifically to help people like me who need help. Yet, when I go up to the counter, the woman there immediately turns her nose up at me. She doesn’t even ask me what I need. She just glances at me, and then looks back at her computer, clacking away at the keyboard.

“My application for the university in Nightheart pack was lost in the mail,” I say. “They’ve directed me to send in another application as soon as possible. Can you please get me a copy?”

“We are out of applications for that school,” the woman says without checking, a blatant lie.

“If you could please double check,” I say, struggling to hold onto my patience. I have to give Ella a warning look to keep her from speaking out too. All I need is an application. If I can get that, I never have to deal with these people again. “This is very important for my future.”

“The future of an Omega is not in university,” she tells me.

“Excuse me?” I say. Who is she to decide that for me?

“I’m doing you a favor, girl,” the woman says, finally looking at me. “The sooner you forget these foolish dreams of grandeur and accept your lot in life, the happier you will be. You are an omega. Find a good husband, give him some kids, and be grateful. That’s all you need to do.”

My rage burns hot. I am more than a baby-making machine!

“I might be an Omega,” I say, before Ella can step in, “But that is not all I am. I also am a good student, maybe one of the best. I scored higher on the final exams than anyone else in the school, whether those rankings are hidden or not.”

That isn’t going to be enough to sway her, I know. So after a breath, I try again.

“I know better than most that the path forward in life is uncertain, which is why I’m so sure that even though I’ve been declared an Omega, that’s not all there is for me,” I say. “Now. I’m going to send an application to this university whether I have your help or not. If I don’t have your help and have to go from memory, I will include an explanation with my application so they know exactly why.

“Nightheart might be a small pack, but every pack has influence. My future is uncertain, but I’m not sure how yours will look once the truth of what happened here spreads. I doubt your reputation will stay how it is…”

Maybe it’s an empty threat. Maybe it’s not.

But it’s enough for the woman to reconsider and miraculously find me one last application.

I cradle it to my chest as I leave the office, pleased with my victory.

That sense of pride vanishes the minute I step past the gate and walk straight into the brothers.