Chapter 18

Ollie’s POV

I change along the way and fortunately find Ella waiting for me.

At home, I rush to the shower.

As I step into the hallway with only a towel wrapped around me, I’m surprised to see Declan standing at my bedroom door.

He freezes when he sees me.

I quickly duck past him and into my room. “Give me a minute!” I say in haste, closing the door behind me. After quickly changing, I open the door again. “What is it?”

Declan swallows hard. He’s not looking at me anymore. “I just wanted to be sure you came home on time. I didn’t see you at dinner.”

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I won’t be late again. Is there anything else?”

“Mother wishes to speak to you about the ceremony.”

Without another word, he turns and walks away.

Strange, but… okay.

I hurry to find Diana. When I do, she surprises me.

“I didn’t call for you,” she says.

If she didn’t need me, then why did Declan lie? Was he just checking up on me? Why lie about that?

Declan’s behavior leaves me curious and confused. As Diana doesn’t need me, I suppose I should head back to my room. I’m still feeling sore from the evenings other activities and could use some rest, as well as some alone time to reflect.

But while I’m here, I decide to talk to Diana about her expectations for the ceremony. She’s receptive as we discuss various color patterns and ideas for seating and the following reception.

When it comes time to discuss the part of the ceremony where the quadruplets would select identities for the newly adult members of the pack, Diana becomes quieter and more pensive.

She watches me while I explain what I’m thinking for the standing arrangement and order of those that will gain their identities.

“And you,” Diana says. “You will be among them.”

“Yes,” I say. I haven’t forgotten, but it’s easier to think about it if I put some cognitive distance between myself and the situation.

Diana watches me quietly again, and I feel a bit of longing, wishing for the days when she could speak to me openly. Growing up, she had been the only mother I’d ever known, and we talked about everything. Since Sylvia’s arrival, Diana has been slowly placing more and more distance between us.

Now, she feels almost like a stranger. Someone that I used to know well, who now keeps me at arm’s distance.

“If you could choose yourself,” Diana asks me, after a moment more, “What identity would you choose for yourself?”

“Gamma,” I say at once.

With a Gamma rank, I would have more options for university. As an Omega, I wouldn’t be accepted with many packs based on that lowly rank alone. Gamma was beneath Alpha, but would still offer me a lot of options, as well as several decent prospects for employment with any pack.

The choice seems to surprise Diana, whose eyes widen slightly. “You wouldn’t want to be an Alpha?”

At one point in my life, back when I thought I belonged to this family, I might have hoped to be gifted an Alpha identity. Everything has changed in the past few years, and truly, my expectations could not be lower.

To even hope to be labeled a Gamma might be too much. To dream of being an Alpha is an impossible fantasy now. Even if I asked for it, Diana would likely refuse me outright.

“I know better than to ask for that,” I say. “My place in the pack,” and in this family, “is not among the elite. I just want to contribute in my own way.”

Diana nods. “You’ve grown.”

Her easy acceptance of the words hurts more than it should. In the past, she and the brothers would have been my most staunch supporters. They would have been furious at me for purposefully selling myself short.

Now… I’ve grown. All because I’ve accepted that my place will never be beside them.

After so long I should be used to the disappointment of rejection, yet, for as hard as I try to steel myself against the hurt, every time still hurts like the first.

It’s only through experience that I’m able to school my expression to keep from revealing my true feelings to Diana.

“I will speak to my sons and make arrangements to fulfill your wish in identity,” she says.

“Thank you,” I tell her, honestly meaning it. It’s a relief to know that I will be labeled a Gamma, and be able to see my dreams through.

“You may go now,” Diana says, dismissing me simply. She lifts the book she had been reading before I arrived and doesn’t even look at me again.

Heart sinking once more, I turn and walk away, dragging my feet a little on the way back to the room.

Diana remains kind to me, but it’s not like it was.

I miss having a mother.

Hugh’s POV

I can’t stop thinking about our mystery mate.

That night we shared in the cabin… Gods, I could relive it a thousand times in my mind and it wouldn’t be enough.

The entire drive back home, I replay our time together again and again in my mind. She smelled so good, and her body had been so responsive.

I’d had women turn to putty under my hands and mouth before, a thousand times over, but nothing like this. With those past women, there was also some kind of barrier up between us. Our sex was always transactional, pleasure for pleasure.

With my mate, I want to give and give and give, and watch her fall apart. One night wasn’t enough. A hundred nights wouldn’t be enough.

I’ve never felt this way before about any woman. Usually I have my fill and move onto the next, but this one seems to stay in my mind, even after I arrive home.

I find my brothers in the living room. Wes reading, Conrad lifting weights in the corner, Declan sharpening one of his many knives.

No sooner do I enter the room, than I can’t wait anymore. Pulling out my phone, I send a message to my mate.

I want you under me again.

Even after clicking send, I don’t regret the message. This is so strange for me, to want the same woman more than once.

I tolerated Kimber mostly out of convenience, not any sort of devotion or particular favoritism.

This is entirely different. I want to see this one woman again, to bury myself inside of her folds like I’m making a home there.

Is this what the mating bond does to people?

A message comes through a moment later. Checking my phone, I read, Patience.

The word makes me laugh. All three of my brothers look up from what they are doing to stare at me.

“What are you laughing about?” Conrad asks. “Do you have a new plaything?”

“Something like that,” I say.

“Do you have a picture?” Wes asks. “You always find the most beautiful women.”

“I wouldn’t mind seeing her either,” Conrad says.

My brothers are likely feeling slightly chuffed after losing their girlfriends. They were more dedicated than I was to Kimber.

But that doesn’t mean I’m going to share her.

“No picture,” I say, but then I tap my temple with my finger. “Everything I need is in here.”

“Usually you like to show off,” Declan points out.

“This one is different,” I say.

“What, do you love this one?” Wes asks. “She must be special, then.”

“I don’t love anyone,” I say. “But this little fox I’m seeing, she refuses to meet anyone. And if she doesn’t want to be shared, then I’m not keen on sharing her.”

My brothers and I are very close, and before I went to see our mate, I planned on telling them some of the encounter.

Yet, now that it has happened, I don’t feel so inclined anymore.

With the way she bucked and begged beneath me, crying my name as I brought her pleasure for the first time…

No, that’s not experience I want to share, not even with my brothers who I might have shared anything else with.

Right now, with our fated mate, I’m feeling uncharacteristically possessive.

And I don’t even care about this change in me.

I just know that… she’s mine.