Chapter 103

Ollie’s POV

They didn’t wait long to ask, it seems. I thought they would maybe build up to it more, instead of asking straight out of the gate.

Having overheard the conversation they’d been having, I should have been prepared for the eventual asking of this question, yet it still seemed to catch me by surprise.

What also surprised me was how much I actually wanted to tell them. It was nearly an overwhelming desire, despite all of my reasoning from only a few moments ago.

Despite the reasoning I still felt now.

It was if an essential internal part of me was pushing me toward the bond I felt for the brothers. Whether it was the influence of the Moon Goddess, or my own foolish desires, I couldn’t be certain.

Yet… a tiny piece of me, a part that still felt hope, wanted to reveal the truth, to be accepted and loved as Ollie, not just as the mysterious Angel.

But a bigger part of me knows how they would react to that, and that part of me, the wiser, more cautious part, is the part that holds my tongue.

I remember standing in front of them, waiting for them to pick my role in the pack. Diane had promised me the role of Gamma. I’d been prepared for that.

But cause of what I’d said about Sylvia, they had looked at me with cruel, vicious eyes.

They declared me Omega, setting my life on a trajectory of hardship and pain. To always be underestimated. To never have the dignity nor the resources that the other, higher ranking members of the pack would be so easily gifted simply for their designation.

This, among the coldness and the bullying, the constant choosing of Sylvia over me. Believing her, even when she had tried to hurt me.

All of this makes me hold my tongue and lower my head.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “This vacation has been something of a dream, and I will treasure every moment for the rest of my life, but in truth it changes nothing. My identity must remained concealed, and when we are back in the pack, I will go my own way. Alone.”

“You shouldn’t have to be alone,” Wes says. “We can help you. You must know we are the pack Alphas.”

“I do know that, but that also changes nothing. Your status does not change who I am.”

“It could,” Conrad says. “You are our mate. That would lift you up.”

Only if they allow it. More likely, after discovering my identity, they would turn against me once and for all, keeping me prisoner while denying my existence to the rest of the pack.

I couldn’t let that happen. I had to flee instead.

“I’m sorry,” I say again.

Hugh stays quiet throughout the exchange, even as he looks at me with something like disappointment.

He confuses me most of all. Since the beginning, he had been the most vocal about maintaining our emotional distance. Even a few days ago, when I lost my mask to the sea, he promised he would keep my secrets.

What changed in that time? Why would he suddenly care so much about wanting to keep me close?

He likely hasn’t stopped being a playboy. As soon as we are back on the mainland, I imagine he will go back to finding different women every night to fill his bed.

Maybe it’s the majesty of this place. It has us all caught up in the dreams of possibility.

The truth would only disappoint them, though, as it would disappoint me.

We all want something of each other that none of us are capable of providing.

The brothers are kind with my rejection, coolly moving the topics of conversation along. The dinner is delicious, as is the desert that they take turns feeding me.

We don’t have sex that night, instead they take turns cuddling me like someone has a stopwatch somewhere.

The rest of the evening, the trip, is pleasant.

Except, under the tender actions, the whole mood of things have changed. It could be the looming separation that hangs in the air, adding gloom, but I imagine instead that it’s my rejection.

The brothers are not used to hearing the words no. Even though I have tried to be kind about it, the rejection must sting. They might even hate me for it.

Maybe they’ll use that hate to push away whatever feelings they might think they have for me during this trip.

That has to be a good thing then, yet…

Even though I’m still with them, I already feel so lonely.

Gradually, through our remaining time together, they talk to me less and less, until eventually, they don’t say a word at all.

The plane trip is awkward, as I sit in silence between Conrad and Wes, both of them looking off in other directions.

At the airport, I hug each goodbye. Though we say the words, they feel hollow.

“Go on, then,” Conrad says, and turns away.

A bit of regret lingers in my heart, but I still go. I turn away.

Once I’m free from their line of sight, I take off in a mad dash. Flagging a taxi, I rush back home, making it to the estate just before the brothers’ cars start to arrive.

I run to my room to shower and change, tucking my suitcase in the very back of my closet.

I barely throw my clothes on in time before Conrad’s voice bellows through the estate. “Ollie! Where are you?”

Running, I fly upstairs, barely having time to say hi to Ella and some servants as I rush by. When I reach the entryway, Conrad drops his suitcase down onto the ground.

“Where have you been? What took you so long?” he said. Before I could answer, he said, “Take our luggage to our rooms. We’re tired.”

The other brothers join in on Conrad’s commands, leaving their luggage piled up high in the entryway.

Declan and Wes don’t look at me at all.

Hugh does though, his eyes narrowing. “Why are you out of breath?”

“No reason,” I say quickly.

He looks at me a moment longer, then turns and walks away.

As the brothers leave, some of the servants appear to help me with the luggage. Ella helps too, even though it’s not her job. First, though, she gives me a hug.

Under her breath, she says, “Tell me everything.”

“Later,” I promise.

Once the luggage is where it’s supposed to be, Ella joins me down in my bedroom, and I fill her in on some of the happenings, not getting too detailed about the intimate times, but describing the island and how nice the brothers were to me.

Ella watches me closely, then says, “Something’s changed with you.”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“The way you talk about them… Do you think… I know you went to get them out of your system, but do you think that actually worked?” she asks.

I don’t know, and that troubles me. In a way, I feel like I might be a little bit in love with the brothers, despite my best efforts to seal off my heart.

If that’s true… maybe instead of running as I originally planned, I should reject the brothers, cutting off all feelings.

I could still run afterwards, but then I’d truly be free.

Would they let me go though, if they knew?

I wonder… is there a way to reject them without their knowing?