Chapter 21

I froze. My heart beat more quickly. I smiled.

Seeing Adrian was a welcome surprise, at least compared to the emotional turmoil of watching the ceremony.

His eyebrows were raised as he set me back on my feet, but he didn’t say anything.

He reached up to smooth his hair, which was already neat. It was strawberry blond and long, and he wore it in a low ponytail with a severe center part. It was about the only thing severe about his appearance. His eyes were warm, both in color and their usual expression. His eyebrows arched gently and his lips were slightly full.

Soft, if I remembered correctly.

He was tall and strong and masculine, but if Hunter was hard lines and sharp angles, Adrian was made of rounded edges.

Why was he here? He almost never turned up to events for our pack. As an Alpha Prince, he tended to be too overloaded with other responsibilities.

It was a sign of how upset I’d been before Adrian turned up that I was happy to see him. It was still extremely awkward between us. Had been for years.

It was before I’d even joined our pack, before I really knew Hunter. I’d left home because my dad and brother were—

I shook my head to refocus. Even now, I didn’t like to remember that time.

But I’d left home soon after I’d reached the age of maturity and started to be able to transform into my wolf. I still couldn’t control it—kept phasing when I didn’t mean to if I was angry or scared.

And I’d course my family was no help. Only grandmother was supportive, but she was already so sick by then.

And Adrian had taken me in. Even though I wasn’t destined for his pack and even though I was untried—a hazard to myself and others—he took pity on me.

And I’d fallen hard for him.

I wasn’t sure if it was his compassion or my desperation that made me so attracted to him.

He’d taken me in when no one else would have and I was so grateful. Then I saw him transform into a huge wolf with an auburn coat, then back into the composed human form I knew. I was in awe.

I was still completely out of control. I was frequently surprised by my body starting to shake and my hackles starting to rise. I would burst into my wolf form, trembling, before I knew what was happening.

Adrian slid from form to form gracefully. His power was only heightened by the fact that it was so controlled.

I pursued him relentlessly, from the day he took me in until the day before I left. I remember feeling like I’d already lost so much that I had nothing to lose in going after him—something I lusted after but couldn’t be heartbroken by. I didn’t have him, so I couldn’t lose him, at least that was the theory.

I was lying on the hard barrack bed in loose sweatpants with holes and a t-shirt ripped down one side from armpit to hipbone. My unexpected transformations were making it difficult to keep clothes intact.

I was breathing deeply, visualizing my shift into wolf form. One of the pack elders had been coaching me on how to get control of myself.

Adrian entered.

I saw his neck redden when he looked at my body, like he’d just sunk into a hot tub.

I breathed quickly, shallowly.

I leaned back onto my elbows and thrust my chest forward. I hoped I looked sexy and not awkward, but I wasn’t sure. My body felt unfamiliar to me.

And my mind felt like it was moving through syrup in his presence.

He stopped in the center of the room and spread his legs slightly, standing in what looked like a military “at ease.”

“Hey,” I said, my voice breathy.

He opened his mouth and closed it. Did he have bad news? Was he attracted to me? Or repulsed?

I literally couldn’t read him at all.

“My cousin says he may have a permanent position for you in his pack.”

My breath caught in my throat and my mind bloomed with possibilities.

Maybe he was sending me away because he wanted me and it was agains some rule for us to be in the same pack if we were a couple.

No, that didn’t make any sense. I knew couples who lived together in the same park.

Maybe I’d some something to offend him, or he just hated me in general.

I felt my body lean toward his, beseeching.

I thought I saw him lean toward me. I sat up straighter. One of the straps of my tank top fell from my shoulder onto my bicep.

I looked down at his trousers without meaning to. They were tight, and a bulge was visible.

Was there a twitch, a hardening, as he looked at my chest?

There was a tingling between my thighs.

But when his words came out, they were icy.

“Because you can’t stay here forever.”

My heart slumped and all the air left my lungs.

“But—”

It’s funny thinking back to what I was like then. Now, I would never be so brazen. I’d been strong and composed then, too, but much more inclined to speak without thinking. To ask for what I wanted. I continued:

“It seemed like there was something between us.”

I could hear his intake of breath from where he stood. There was definitely a twitch of movement at his crotch.

He strode toward me.

His eyes, usually cool amber, were molten as he stood over me. He hovered above me, hands on the bed on either side of my waist, arms straight. His face was inches from mine.

I lifted my chin so our lips were even closer together.

Then I watched his eyes cool again.

He took several steps back and smoothed his shirt and trousers, even though they were unrumpled.

“I’m an Alpha Prince. That means I’m in line to be Alpha King. And it’s important that I have a Luna who’s in a position to be respected in that role. I owe it to the pack. I have to make the pack stronger, have to do my duty. You’re not wrong that there’s been tension since you arrived. It’s my fault for letting you think we could ever—with the family you come from and my situation, we could never—”

My cheeks grew molten.

I was ashamed and angry. Not at him, but at my father and brother. They’d already taken so much from me, and now they were going to take something I didn’t even have, but wanted.

But I’d known Adrian well enough to realize duty was his highest law. If he didn’t think something was in line with his responsibilities or personal code of honor, that was that. There would be no discussion on the matter.

“I’ll start packing,” I said with a sigh, turning to gather my few belongings.

And that had been it, though there had always been tension when we saw each other since, and I knew Hunter had always been bothered by our history, even though it had come to nothing.

I gathered my bearings, noticing that all eyes—even those of Hunter and Maya, who were still on the stage—were on Adrian and I.

“Hey, Adrian,” I said.

He paused for a moment. He was still standing close, having just set me back on my feet after catching me. It reminded me of that moment in the barracks so many years ago.

“Hi, Kara,” he replied, a slight smile playing at the corner of his lips.