Chapter 87

MILA

It felt like my entire body was on fire with fury. I was furious at Felix, not only for keeping secrets, but for specifically leaving me out of the loop right as we were committing our lives and futures to each other. He’d broken my trust before, but this felt even bigger and worse.

I had barely heard a word he’d said since he revealed that he had known about the curse not ending with our marriage. I wish I could say that I was busy figuring out a solution, but truthfully, all I could hear was white noise. It was as if the rest of the world did not matter.

I sat silently on the floor of his parents’ sitting room, staring into space. Felix stood awkwardly by the door, clearly torn between talking to me and following his parents. But I could not concentrate on his movements, could not hear a word he was saying over the roaring in my ears.

Had I made a mistake in marrying him? Was I doomed to be seen as less than my whole life, never to be loved completely enough to be seen as an equal? Maybe my parents and sister had been right all along. Maybe all I ever amounted to was nothing.

After what felt like an eternity, Felix cleared his throat and sat down next to me. He tried reaching for my hand, but I did not move. He dropped his hand and shifted uncomfortably.

“I’m sorry, Mila,” he said quietly. “I realize that I’ve made a huge mistake. I should have told you everything.”

I nodded, an ironic smiling twisting onto my lips. “A mistake? You’re planning a war and never even told me. You’ve known that our marriage wouldn’t break the curse and decided to keep that a secret. What, did you think I couldn’t handle it? This affects me too, Felix. You’re not alone in this anymore.”

Felix bowed his head in shame. “I understand that now. I guess I just thought–”

“Just thought what/!” the words exploded out of me before I could really stop them. “Just thought what, Felix? That you could make these life-altering decisions on your own and I would just stand by? I thought you respected me more than that!”

Felix flinched. “Of course I respect you!”

“Not enough, apparently!” I shot back. “You don’t see me as a partner, as someone who you can talk to. If you did, then you would have said something.”

Felix sighed. “I didn’t want to burden you–”

“It’s more of a burden to be lied to,” I spat. “You should know that better than anybody. We’ve survived your lies before, but how the hell am I supposed to trust you after all this?”

That struck him like a knife to the heart. He looked hurt, and turned his face away from me. I knew that I was lashing out at him in anger, and I took a deep breath in an attempt to steady my own emotions.

“Mila,” Felix said, his voice breaking.

I had gone too far. I was justified, absolutely, but I had gone too far.

“What I mean is–” I cut myself off, forcing myself to think through every word before I said it. “What I mean is that I have to be part of your decision-making process now. Not only for things that would affect us as a couple, but also for things that would affect the country. You asked me to be your queen, not just your wife, and I intend to fulfill both of those vows.”

Felix finally raised his eyes to meet mine. “I know that. I’m so, so sorry, Mila. I’ve made a huge mistake. All I wanted was to protect you and my parents from more harm, but I’m afraid that I’ve hurt you more than helped you. That was never my intention. Please, you must believe me.”

After seeing the horror and sorrow on his parents’ faces moments ago, I could understand his perspective. I would not want to break their hearts, either.

I could hear my tone softening as I spoke. “Of course I believe in your good intentions. You’re a good man, Felix, even if you’re stubborn at times.”

A tiny smile broke across his face. “Incredibly bold of you to call me stubborn.”

I smirked. “I call it like I see it.”

Felix took my hand in his. I finally allowed him. The feel of his hand on mine calmed my racing heart a bit. His touch always seemed to ground me.

“The truth is that I’m terrified, Mila,” he said. His voice was straining against a wave of emotion. My heart broke at the sound. “When Esmeralda told me that our marriage might not be enough to save me, I panicked. The last thing I wanted was to marry you and then leave you alone forever.”

My eyes filled with tears. “Felix…”

“I love you, Mila,” he continued. “And it is because I love you that I kept you in the dark. I didn’t want to add stress to your plate right before the wedding by telling you about Charles’ plans, even though I knew that you likely would want to know. And I didn’t want to break your heart with the news about the curse on our wedding night, of all nights. I wanted to give us a few hours of a peaceful marriage before launching us into war.”

I stroked the back of his hand with my thumb. “I understand that.”

“I don’t want to die, Mila,” he whispered. “I can’t.”

My heart lurched in my chest. I had been so focused on being angry with him that I had completely shoved aside my own fears and grief at the thought of him succumbing to the curse.

“I suppose that it was easier to be mad at you than to think about you dying,” I admitted. “But I’m scared, too. What if I’m… what if I’m not the solution?”

Felix took my head in both of his hands and gazed deeply into my eyes. “Mila, even if you weren’t my Destined Bride, I still would have married you. I feel as if I’ve been searching for you my whole life. There being some complications with breaking the curse does not change my feelings about you.”

And there it was. His undying devotion, his promise of forever. Not broken or forgotten, rather, it was stronger than ever.

“I love you,” I murmured. Felix’s shoulders sank in relief.

“I love you, too,” he declared.

I swallowed the lump in my throat the best I could. “We will find a way to break this curse and defeat Charles, but we need to do it together. And for that, you need to let me in. I’m stronger than I look, Felix, and you can trust me.”

“I promise,” Felix swore. “I will never shut you out again.”

I leaned backwards slightly. “Now, tell me about the next steps for taking down Charles’ army.”

As Felix began to talk about battle strategy, my focus shifted in and out. This man was my everything, and the thought of losing him…

I would do whatever it took to save him. No matter the cost.