Chapter 169

CHARLES

Life in exile was surprisingly calm.

Despite our conversation before being sent to this remote island, I’d had a harder time adjusting to a relationship with Isabella than I once thought. Perhaps it was the sadness I felt at being away from my home kingdom, or maybe I did not like the vulnerability that came with being alone with Isabella for weeks on end.

Or maybe I was just pouting.

We had not been intimate the entire time we had been on the island, despite sharing a bed. I knew Isabella felt a bit hurt by my hot-and-cold personality, but I was still struggling with opening up to her and being a true partner. She had tried to initiate sex a few times, and I’d shut her down each time, watching the hurt cross her face each time.

There were still a lot of things for me to learn.

There were plenty of things that Isabella and I both missed from home. I wished desperately that I was part of the coalition to help rebuild the kingdoms, but I had to accept my place far away from royal life. Now my days were filled with gardening and tending to our tiny plot of land.

The property we were exiled to was not very big, but it was comfortable enough for two. We grew a lot of our own food and what we could not grow ourselves was sent in from one of the larger islands. It was always sunny and warm here, and we got rain about twice a week.

It was almost paradise. Nothing would ever be Fresonia, but this was a decent way to spend our lives.

Isabella seemed to be doing better. The pressures of being a noble lady were lifted from her shoulders and she seemed to genuinely enjoy the outdoors, even though I knew that she missed our former kingdom.

Most importantly, however, Isabella was helping me every single day to figure out what to do with myself. I had spent so long wanting to be King that I forgot who I was.

My identity crisis occupied a large part of our first few months on the island. Isabella was determined to rehabilitate some of my worser tendencies, and I would be lying if I said I had been a willing participant those first few weeks.

Still, Isabella was persistent. For whatever reason, she loved me and believed in me, and wanted me to be the best possible version of myself. I knew I could be angry and difficult, but I was slowly starting to believe that maybe change was possible.

One evening, Isabella and I were sitting on a blanket on our back lawn, watching the stars. Out here in the farthest reaches of the islands, the sky was almost impossibly clear.

“What do you miss the most about Fresonia?” she asked.

I shrugged. “I loved the mountains. I loved the countryside. I loved–I love my dragon. It’s hard to pick just one thing.”

Isabella nodded. “I understand.”

I had not realized until saying it out loud how much I really and truly missed my dragon. Hades was back in Fresonia somewhere, back with his fellow dragons, but he would always be my best and oldest friend.

There was a long pause, and I realized that she was likely waiting for me to ask her the same question. I was still figuring out the details of being a “nice” person, but this seemed like a good place to start.

I coughed and said, “And you?”

A tiny light went on in her eyes, as if she was thrilled that I was deigning to ask her a question. That made me feel a bit icky inside. Seeing her rejoice at the tiniest bit of human decency from me was enough by itself to make me want to be a better person.

“I think I miss feeling like someone,” Isabella admitted. “I went through my whole life feeling important. I was a noblewoman and I kept the secret of the Dragon Knights. Even if I never felt important as a person, I always felt important in my place in society.”

That hurt me a bit more than I cared to admit. Isabella had never felt important as herself. No wonder she had once clung so desperately to her noble status and had shamelessly thrown herself at my brother. And no wonder she had so willingly joined my cause for the slightest bit of attention.

She, like me, just wanted to be loved. And she, like me, had always doubted whether she could be.

Maybe we could both change that for the other.

“I think you are important,” I said.

Isabella’s eyes lit up. “You do?”

“Yes,” I said awkwardly. “I know things have been a bit weird between us since coming here, but I just… I’m trying to figure out if I’m a bad or good person. And that has nothing to do with you.”

Isabella nodded slowly. “I can understand that.”

As much as I hated to ask, I still did. “Do you think I’m a bad person?”

She paused. “I think you are a complicated person. I think you have both good and bad in you, and you were so hurt over your childhood that you let the bad win out most of the time. You’ve made bad choices, but I don’t think that necessarily makes you a bad person.”

“Do you think I could ever be a good person?” I asked her.

She tilted her head. “I think if you let yourself, you could be.”

It was a fair answer, even though it stung a bit to hear.

“But Charles, to be fair, I don’t think I’m a spectacularly good person either,” Isabella said. “I’ve done a lot of things I regret.”

“You did things just because I asked you to,” I assured her.

She shook her head. “I did bad things for you because they were my choice. I always could have gone running back to Felix and reported back on your plans, but I didn’t. I chose to stay with you. I made my bed, so to speak.”

The word bed hung between us, heavy in the air.

“I am sorry I have not taken you to bed yet,” I added.

Isabella blushed. “We’re both working on some things. I’m sure that will come eventually. We just need to give ourselves time.”

“We have all the time in the world,” I said, gesturing to the sky.

She laughed at that. “I’m here to help you figure out who you are, Charles. We can figure that out together.”

I placed my hand over hers. My touch made her shudder, but she did not pull away.

I leaned forward and kissed her. As I did, a familiar heat rushed down my spine, and suddenly there was nothing in the world I wanted to do more than to move this inside.

“Do you want to go back inside?” I asked softly.

Isabella’s eyes lit up. “I do.”

I took her hand and pulled her to her feet.

“Charles?”

“Yes?” I turned to face her.

“I think you have good in you deep down, too,” she said.

As we walked into the house, it felt like a new beginning. It felt like maybe Isabella was right–even the worst of monsters could be redeemed after all.