Chapter 138

FELIX

I was floating.

I was lost, somewhere, in my dreamscape, not quite in my memories and not quite in my real life. I was torn between the memories of my past lives, the loss and the heartache that had permeated the entire existence of my soul.

Maybe staying here, in this place that was not quite real, was the best way for me to move on. Mila was strong–she could save Fresonia without me.

Then, I heard her voice. That sweet, shy voice that had haunted my dreams since the very first day we met: “Felix. Felix, come here. Follow my voice.”

Somehow, I pushed through the foggy memories, desperate to make my way back to Mila.

“Felix!” She called. “Felix, I’m right here. Just a bit further!”

I closed my eyes and exhaled, trying desperately to propel myself to wherever Mila was.

I was finally going to see my wife again.

When I opened my eyes, I was in a strange void. The world around me seemed both murky and empty, and I was completely unsure as to how I got there.

Standing across from me was–

“Mila!” I gasped.

But as soon as I said it, I realized that I had been mistaken. The woman may have looked exactly like Mila, but something was not quite right.

“I’m Sofia,” she murmured. “I take it you’ve been reading a lot about me.”

Sure enough, that part of me that was once Samuel rejoiced at the sight of her face.

The rest of me could not tell if I was intimidated or angry to be face-to-face with the enchantress. She was, after all, the woman who was responsible for my curse.

“Where am I?” I asked, looking around in confusion.

Sofia laughed softly. “This is the In-Between. Somehow, as you were searching through your lost memories, you found your way here. I am not quite sure how, but somehow… I think you needed to come here, to find me.”

“Can you help me find Mila?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. “Do you know where she is?”

Sofia offered me a sympathetic smile. “Whether you find Mila is up to you.”

“Is she in Fresonia?” I asked, needing any bit of information.

“I think so,” she said. “She left here and went to the library. She had some things of her own that she needed to figure out.”

“How was she?” I could barely bring myself to ask the question.

Sofia looked down at the ground.

“She is definitely a bit lost,” the enchantress admitted eventually. “It was rather a lot of information for her to process all at once, and she was also still dealing with the unfortunate circumstances surrounding her attempted killing.”

“I had no idea my parents were going to kill her,” I said quickly. “I was as blindsided as she was.”

“Were you?” Sofa asked. “You knew that such a thing was possible. You knew that sacrificing her life for yours was a possibility, you just never thought to tell her about it.”

“I didn’t even consider it as a true possibility,” I protested. “When I heard about Esmeralda’s theories, I dismissed it immediately.”

“But the people around you did not,” Sofia pointed out. “This is something you and Mila must discuss. I am not the one you need to defend yourself to!”

I knew she was right. There was no point in fighting with Sofia, but I felt so helpless. It was a new feeling for me.

“You have made some terribly selfish decisions,” Sofia said, “and I don’t just mean in this lifetime. I understand the pain you are in, and the heartache you must feel at the loss of Mila. But you must come to terms with your own mistakes if you are to win your wife back.”

There was an edge to her voice, as if she was reliving some certain mistakes of her own.

“Is that what you did?” I asked her. There was no judgment in my tone. “Did you come to terms with your mistakes with Samuel?”

“I have tried,” Sofia said. Her voice was steely. “It is far more difficult to have those conversations with just yourself.”

“Maybe you will find him again,” I told her.

“I have been here for many, many, years,” Sofia stated. “I have had many days to observe the mistakes and flaws of our lives. Believe me when I say that I know what I am talking about.”

So she really had been here for all those centuries, suffering all alone while the terrible effects of her curse caused heartaches and pain. She was trapped in this void not only because of her protective power, but because she had never been able to let go of what she had done.

When I looked back at her, her face had grown sad.

“You look just like him,” Sofia said, her voice so soft I could barely hear her. “You have Samuel’s eyes.”

“I suppose that I am Samuel,” I responded.

Sofia shrugged with one shoulder. “In many ways, yes. But you are not my Samuel. And that is what hurts a bit.”

I could see it in her eyes. She was yearning for me, in so many of the ways I was yearning for her. But we were not each other’s loves, rather, just a sad reflection of what could have been.

“For what it’s worth,” I said to Sofia, “I forgive you.”

Sofia’s eyes filled with tears. “You do not need to say that.”

“I mean it,” I told her. “From the bottom of my heart, I forgive you. And I think that means Samuel must forgive you too.”

“Maybe,” Sofia whispered.

I extended a hand to her. “I guess you’ll just have to find out.”

Fear flashed across Sofia’s face. “I don’t think I could leave this void even if I tried.”

“You can,” I promised her.

“I need to protect the magic,” Sofia protested. “As long as I remain here, I can observe Fresonia from afar, and make sure that the magic is at least slightly shielded.”

“Mila and I can protect the magic now,” I assured her. “All you need to do is let go of that pain and darkness inside you. I believe then we can leave the void.”

“Do you know what you need to do to reconcile with her?” Sofia asked.

“Once I find her, I need to make it clear that I am never letting go of her again,” I swore. “She is everything to me. It’s my fault that she never saw that.”

“If I let go…” Sofia closed her eyes. “Yes, I believe I know how to leave the void.”

“And do you want to?” I asked her.

Sofia touched my cheek, tears sparkling in the corners of her eyes.

“I think it is time,” she whispered.

As the void fell apart around us, I held Sofia’s hand tightly. Until she squeezed my fingers, and I knew that it was time to let go.

When I opened my eyes, I was back at the Fresonian castle. Not as it had been in my memories–but as it was in my lifetime.

I was home.