Chapter 118

MILA

I sat in the void, my brain humming with the memories I had just uncovered. Each past life had awakened some long-dead part of me, as if I was finally becoming my whole and complete person again.

It was terrifying.

And yet, at the same time, it was exhilarating.

For so long, I hadn’t felt like myself, like something had always been missing. I thought that it was Felix, but maybe what had been missing all along was me.

Sofia watched me quietly, her eyes darting back and forth as if trying to assess my current emotional state. I had no idea what of my visions she had also been able to see, but showing me my past lives had clearly drained her magically.

“So there it is,” Sofia whispered. “The truth.”

I was still reeling from the death and loss when I looked up at her. “And that happened every time?”

Sofia nodded sadly. “Every time, you and Felix found each other and fell in love. And every time, you were sacrificed for the good of Fresonia.”

“And that’s… what, fate? Destiny?”

Sofia shrugged. “I suppose so. My soul–our soul–is so closely bound to the magic of Fresonia that it makes sense that in each lifetime, we were forced to save it. Forced to save him.”

Her eyes were so full of sorrow that I realized that she must have been watching the memories I was. But that’s all they were to me–memories. Sofia had been in this In-Between for years, trapped with no escape.

So that meant– “Did you have to watch all of those deaths in real time?”

Sofia turned her face away, but I could tell that she was getting emotional. “Yes. Each and every one.”

“Do you regret casting that curse?”

Hurt and embarrassment flashed across Sofia’s face. “I have many, many regrets. I have caused far too much pain to ever be forgiven, and have destined our soul to centuries of torment. I kept hoping one of the generations, one of the lives, would be able to fix my mistakes, but instead I doomed us all.”

I reached for the other woman’s hand. “You did not doom us. I will fix this, I swear.”

Sofia gave me a sideways smirk. “You are our last hope, and in many ways, also our first.”

I stared at her, unblinking. “What?”

Sofia gestured to the void around us. “I had magic, the strongest magic in the world. That’s how I was able to do all this. The other versions of us carried many similar traits, but the magic didn’t just lay dormant in their blood–they didn’t have magic at all.”

My head was spinning. “What do you mean?”

Sofia sighed. “The magic never surfaced because there was never any magic to surface. You are the first version since me to have any sort of magical ability.”

Me? Magic?

On one hand, that didn’t make any sense with what I knew about myself. But on the other hand…

I was Felix’s Destined Bride, which meant that somewhere in my blood, there was the tiniest hint of magic. Enough to twine our destinies together. After all, in the last few months, I had survived a kidnapping, dragonfire, and poison. Perhaps there was something deep within me that had been fighting back all along.

Finally, the enormity of everything Sofia had told me started to sink in. She had not pulled me into the void for a mere conversation, but in order to assess if I had what it took to break the curse. If I had her powers, that meant that I was capable of great and terrible magic myself.

But that was a big if.

Sofia smiled slightly. “I see that you’re beginning to understand.”

I looked down at my hands. They appeared ordinary enough–there were no markings or signs of something otherworldly or unusual.

“How am I supposed to find the magic? Are you going to train me or something?” I asked.

Sofia laughed. “It’s not really something I can train, not at first. My work here has mainly been to see if I can coax the magic out of you. Otherwise, it is likely that you would have never realized you had any powers at all.”

I flailed around, trying to conjure some sort of light or blast or something. “How am I supposed to wake it up?”

Sofia grabbed one of my arms and pulled me slightly closer. “You have to look inside. Dig deep down to whatever part of you you hide from the most. Your true power is in the part you run from.”

The memories. I had been hiding so long from those memories that the mere thought of going back to that part of myself terrified me.

“If it helps,” Sofia offered up, “I was not the one who showed you all those past lives.”

I raised a curious eyebrow.

“Oh, I certainly helped guide you to your magical core,” Sofia continued, “but you’re the one who was able to access that part of yourself. You did that all on your own.”

Sure enough, the more she talked, the more I became aware of a tiny, little ache buried somewhere deep in my chest. Nothing too substantial, and a feeling I could otherwise easily ignore.

But I knew that that ache was my magical core, the bruise I needed to keep prodding in order to reach my full power.

“I was only able to pull you into the void because of your magic,” Sofia explained. “I’ve tried with so many of the other versions, believe me. But I failed every time.”

“Where are they now?” Maybe together, we could access them.

Sofia rubbed the back of her neck. “They live on in you. They are you, in many ways. Your love for cooking, for the sea, your fear of horses, those all come from past versions of yourself. Each time you lived, you got a little better. You are the best version of yourself right now.”

I didn’t have to ask whether Sofia considered herself to be the worst version of us. I already knew the answer.

“Those past lives are all fragmented parts of your spirit, all living and dwelling in you. They live on in your memories, and will only move on when you do as well.”

“Where do they move on to?” More importantly, would Sofia ever move on with us?

The enchantress gave me a weary smile. “Elsewhere. Someplace other. I assume that wherever Samuel will go, they will go, too.”

I looked at the void, at the way the air seemed to both stir and still with each glance. I understood why Sofia had imprisoned some tiny part of our soul here, to stand guard over the magic and to fight for Fresonia’s survival.

If I broke the curse, maybe I could free Sofia.

“How am I ever supposed to forgive Felix?” I whispered. “Even if it wasn’t his idea to put me up for slaughter, he at least knew about the idea weeks before. He had to know the risks of his family learning about this.”

Sofia extended her hand. “I can show you one more thing, if you’d like. It might help you on your journey.”

As much as Felix had hurt me, perhaps there was a way forward.

I took Sofia’s hand.