Chapter 97

Ardal

Julia and I lie atop the bed of my studio apartment, perusing my laptop in a flurry of desire as we craft a plan for our long-awaited travels. With each click and keystroke, this fantasy becomes a tangible reality - or at least as close to it as we can get.

"What if we took the train," she muses, hastily bringing up the Amtrak homepage.

My mind soars with technicolor Hollywoodesque fantasies.

"Of course," she sighs disgruntledly, "Everything's become so complicated with the packs recently. You can be sure that they'd put some Weres on staff just to make sure no one manages to leave the territory without the proper authorization."

"Who needs their permission," I grumble crossly, fuming over all of the recent political tension.

I slump against my pillow, arms crossed behind my head, imagining burly Weres inspecting each car, hunting for any rogue passengers who hopped on board without approval, like a werewolf version of a Hitchcock film.

"Oh Ardal! It's half past six!"

"What?" I spring to my feet immediately. "Damn it!"

Julia slams the laptop shut and races around my room while I rush into the closet.

She snaps her laptop shut and gets up to set it on top of my little, thrift store-find kitchen table and opens the fridge to pull out an opened Heineken bottle Kadeem last a couple weeks ago. The clicking sound of hangers fills the room as I search for my classic Audrey Hepburn-style little black dress.

"You still want me to help you with your smoky eye, right," Julia asks, as I dash into the bathroom.

"If I get that far," I say. "I haven't even gotten into the shower - anything," I shout through the door. I throw off my clothes and turn on the water. Kadeem will be here in a mere thirty minutes.

I take the world's fastest shower, nicking myself twice with my razor.

Dressed in nothing but a robe, I step out of the bathroom with a new idea that brings a momentary distraction to my hurried pace.

"Julia," I say, "What if instead of spending all the money on accommodations, we just rely on our wolf selves? If we could rough it a little, we'd save enough money for a trip in no time."

I pick up the scattered guidebooks on my bed and stack them in my hands, holding them like a shield against me.

Julia giggles as she sips her beer. "I don't know if we're cut out for that," she says. "Running around in the dark for a few hours in the semi-wilderness, if you can even call it that - basically a few acres of patchy trees, Ardal. That's a lot different than surviving for days out in the actual world."

"Yeah, I guess," I sigh, "But it's not like there's a lot of real wilderness left to get lost in anyway."

Julia helps herself to a plate of chocolate chip cookies on the table. "I know you and Kadeem go out sometimes, but mostly, all we've done is the werewolf equivalent of glamping."

I have to admit she's right, and it's pretty pathetic. Modern Weres are as confined by modernity as anyone. I've wondered more than once if this life means anything anymore when too busy playing Candy Crush to take note of the full moon.

A knock comes at the door and my heart gives a thud.

I pull it open to find Kadeem, his tall figure dressed in a sharp suit and tie. Except for a handful of special events, I never see him get dressed up, and it fills my stomach with butterflies.

Without a single word, he pushes quickly past me, taking my armload of books aside as he kisses me fiercely.

"Mmm," I mutter, trying my best to pull away from him, but he draws me back into another kiss, making me feel faint with desire. I try again to pull away and say breathlessly between kisses, "Julia's here."

At the table, Julia rolls her eyes and holds her fingers up in a teasing wave. "Such lovebirds," she intones with obvious disgust.

Kadeem scrambles away from me, his breath coming out in puffs. "Julia, are you ever not here? You ought to be paying rent at this point," he growls.

"Exqueeze me," she snorts back, clutching the neck of the beer bottle.

Kadeem visibly shudders. "You know I hate when you say that."

"I know," Julia says, looking down at her scarlet fingernails, trying to hide her smirk.

He bristles and I can almost hear the gears turning in his head as he tries to come up with some witty response.

Nothing comes. Julia smiles triumphantly, fluttering her eyelashes innocently at him.

Kadeem inhales sharply and turns to me. His irritation fades as he gently toys with a few strands of my soaked hair.

"Don't rush," he says. "Our reservation's not till 8."

My mouth gapes open and he chuckles.

I raise my eyebrow. "You said -"

"Well, Ardal," he begins as he gracefully falls onto a flowery loveseat - another thrift find. "You forget that I know you well enough." He scoops up a Cosmopolitan magazine and begins to flip through. "I'll wait," he says.

While I get ready for the evening ahead, the argument between him and Julia starts up again.

Kadeem has become more distant and less like his playful self while his uncle gets his hooks into him. Meanwhile, I've come to rely on Julia, instead, as my closest confidante and companion. It used to be just banter between them, but lately, their rivalry has taken on a more biting edge.

Julia comes in to do my eye makeup, standing close as she concentrates. "All done," she says, smiling.

I open my eyes and return her smile gratefully.

"Let me know how it goes," she says suggestively.

We've been debating all week about Kadeem's uncle's latest stunt - snagging us reservations at a fancy restaurant, in order to impress him by showing off the shred of influence he has in the pack.

Julia's convinced, though, that it can only mean one thing: Kadeem is going to propose.

Julia steps out and I hear her address Kadeem tauntingly. "Till next time, asshole."

"Looking forward to it," he says icily.

I rushed to get ready, then timidly step out. "Ready," I squeak, my heart pounding.

Kadeem lays the magazine down, taking me in. His face is unreadable, and his gaze seems to be searching for something in mine. "You look -"

"Don't say it," I plead, raising my hand between us. "It'll just make me feel weird."

He bites his lip. "I don't know why," he murmurs. "Surely it's okay to-"

"To what," I interrupt, hugging my arms against my chest.

He lets out a deep sigh and kisses my forehead gently.

We make our way to the fancy, French restaurant and it's stunning, dimly lit on a terrace downtown overlooking the twinkling city lights.

The air is still muggy outside. Kadeem's hair curls slightly at the nape of his neck, and mine lays flat and lifeless in the humidity, but there's a refreshing breeze that whips up every so often, and in the moonlight, the temperature is perfect.

The food is amazing, featuring words I can't pronounce and things I've never eaten before - quail and other sophisticated sounding ingredients.

"This is incredible," I breathe.

Kadeem puts down his dessert fork.

"I'll tell Uncle Bob you said so," he smiles.

I repress an outcry. Kadeem and his uncle lately! Ever since Kadeem's dad passed away, his uncle stepped in, like he was trying to win him over - manipulate him, perhaps, but I keep quiet. I'm aware that Kadeem misses his dad greatly right now, so his uncle's presence must be a great comfort to him.

The waiter returns to our table to ask how everything went and Kadeem thanks him before giving him a barely perceptible nod.

As soon as the waiter leaves, Kadeem begins to look uncharacteristically nervous and hardly says a word while I try to make some mindless chatter to kills the anxiety in the air.

He pulls at the neck of his shirt. "Ardal," he says softly, and my stomach does a lurch.

'Please don't propose, please don't propose,' I chant in my head.

I love Kadeem, but lately, I've been yearning for an adventure outside of our comfortable bubble. How can I possibly explain that without devastating him? In the quiet moments, I know it's him I want, but I still find myself wondering what it would be like to stretch my wings a little.

I watch in shock as Kadeem pulls a small blue box from his pocket.

A ring from Tiffany is one of my most ardently romantic dreams, and Kadeem knows it - but now it feels sullied. This would have cost a fortune and his uncle undoubtedly helped pay for it.

He opens the box and a thin, gold band with one small diamond shines under the dim lighting. "I don't know if it's what you've been hoping for," he says quietly.

My heart catches in my throat. This is all Kadeem.

"I've saved up for ages," he says with a wry grin, "And to get a slightly larger diamond or the white gold, we were looking at another twenty years before I could finally marry you."

He chuckles, but hearing the words, "marry you," out loud has done something funny to me. All the time I spent as a girl thinking about being proposed to, it didn't prepare me for the reality hitting me now. I'm collapsing into a puddle of goo on the floor. I'm a hot fucking mess, and I'm trying not to burst into tears.

Kadeem notes my struggle and takes my hand, somewhat patching me back together. He nods gently, as though to tell me it's okay.

Then he continues, his eyes twinkling. "I never expected to find love so young," he says, squeezing my hand. "But I did. I knew instantly and instinctively from the moment we met. I mean, I wasn't thinking about marriage at age twelve, I can assure you," he laughs with a gentle eye roll, "But I knew you... belong with me. That feeling has just grown deeper with time. It's not something that will ever change."

He purses his lips, as though holding back his own emotion. "Will you marry me?"