Chapter 58

Ardal

He’s looking at me in a way that makes me think he’s waiting for me to say something in particular. It’s not the first time in this conversation that I’m wondering what we’re really talking about - there’s a depth to it that’s only thinly veiled.

“It’s Erbao,” I say, feeling myself crumple as I do.

Kadeem’s face shifts rapidly to an expression of startled fear.

“He was born with kidney problems, but things are worse now. He’s gone into renal failure and had to start dialysis.”

Kadeem looks sick to his stomach. “I’m so sorry,” he says.

I nod grimly. “He’s doing okay. There’s a good chance he’ll be approved for an implant. As his mom, I’ll be a likely match, and then we can put this nightmare behind us.”

Kadeem gulps hard. “You’re planning on donating your kidney?”

“Of course, I am,” I say, instantly alight with anger.

“But you have five children, Chels. Isn’t there a risk -“

“There’s a risk to everything, but it’s one I have to take. You can’t live forever on dialysis. Maybe ten years.” I shake my head, feeling my temperature continuing to rise. My hands begin to tremble with anger. “There’s no way I would just sit back and let him -“

Kadeem reaches out and puts his hand on my shoulder. “I know,” he says, gently. “I would never doubt you as a mom. And of course, you have to do what it takes to save him. I just - it’s a little worrying. It’s a big deal, I would think, to be a living donor.”

Kadeem drops his hand. “Would it be possible for his father to give him a kidney,” he asks slowly, his eyes full of trepidation.

I purse my lips, at a loss again for words. Kadeem is staring at me too intently.

I could tell him the truth. I could tell him everything. Even if we fell back into past drama of him hating me and thinking I tried to kill him, I know what he would do. He would help Erbao, no doubt.

But, why open that can of worms when I don’t have to? I picture really dredging up the past, and all the pain that would come from that - arguments and mutual loathing, maybe even a custody fight, or just shoving the kids back and forth between us as we try to share their lives.

I have two kidneys. I will save my child. That’s what matters, and all the better if I can keep Kadeem out of it.

I shake my head again. “They don’t have a father,” I say. “He, um, died a long time ago.”

Kadeem’s face goes rather blank. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he says.

“It’ll all work out, I think. Jack says he’ll be able to run the tests soon, so I can find out for sure if I’m a match.”

Kadeem freezes. “Jack?”

Fuck, I didn’t mean to spill that detail. It’s a little mortifying - hooking up with my kid’s pediatrician.

“The guy you were on a date with? Is your son’s doctor?”

I shrug. “I guess it’s a little unconventional, but yeah.”

“And you just started dating - recently, I mean?”

I frown. “What does that matter?”

“I mean, what’d he do? Tell you your son’s in renal failure and then ask you out?” Kadeem’s tone is livid.

I feel my cheeks go hot. “Not at all,” I say. “Why don’t you just stay out of it,” I growl.

“If that’s not the case,” Kadeem says, voice rising. “Why are you so offended?”

“Because it’s an offensive question! And how about you, why are you prying into my personal life? What is all of this to you?”

“I think it’s gross,” he says, face hardened in anger. “Like he’s preying on you when you’re vulnerable.”

“It’s not gross,” I say, fuming. “And he needn’t have waited for vulnerability. I would have said ‘yes’ to a date with him, any day of the week! Did you not get a look at him the other night?” I’m just being haughty now, spewing out whatever I can to attack him.

“I did,” Kadeem says, eyes narrowed. “He looked perfectly average. And by the way,” he snarls, “It was disgusting the way he was hanging on to you, mauling you with a ridiculous amount of PDA for a first or second date!”

“How. Dare. You,” I seethe. “You have ZERO right to judge me. I know who your ex is, remember?”

“I have no interest in defending Susan,” Kadeem says, flatly.

“That’s a new one,” I snap.

His brow furrows.

I kick myself mentally. Stay in the present, Ardal.

Kadeem takes a breath. “I’m just telling it to you honestly, I think it’s creepy. There was already something about him I didn’t like when I met him. Now that I know he’s your kids’ doctor, it creeps me out more.”

“There’s no law against that, last I checked. Is it so hard to believe he just found me attractive? Regardless of his profession or the circumstance, people can just be drawn to each other, you know.”

“No, it’s not hard to believe he was drawn to you, or found you attractive.” Kadeem’s cheeks flush pink, but his jaw is clenched tight with frustration. “I’m not suggesting otherwise. Something about it is weird, though. I don’t like it.”

“Well, good thing we’re not a ‘throuple,’ Kadeem, because you don’t have to like it!” Boiling over, I practically scream it at him.

Exasperated, Kadeem shuts his eyes. “This is going nowhere,” he says. “I’m sorry I said anything.” He shucks off his towel again, ready to resume swimming. The silence between us is heavy.

I stand, frozen for a second. I feel an unimaginable rage within me, but a peculiar sensation has taken hold of my body. My mind whirls with irrational thoughts, imagining his lips against mine.

Goddamn it!

I need to get my wolf back in check. She’s leading me astray.

In a fury, my foot connects with one of the chairs and I send it flying across the room, the clatter of wood reverberating across the walls.

Kadeem lets out a startled laugh.

I spin back around to see the surprised bemusement on his face.

We hear the squeak of a door and look over to see Dylan opening it cautiously. Next to him, a group of middle-aged and senior adults are standing in their swimsuits, faces staring through the glass windows of the pool room in horror.

My face burns with mortification. I want to fall into a hole and die.

I expect Kadeem to shift into alpha mode and either reprimand me for alarming the clients, or maybe smooth it over with the spin-room tactics of a politician, in which case, he’ll lay into me, or even fire me, later.

My gaze reluctantly slides toward him, and I see that he is anything but angry. In fact, it’s clear he is thoroughly enjoying my visible discomfort and trying his best to stifle a fit of hysterical laughter.

“Temper,” he teases me quietly, with a smirk on his face.

I growl and shove him straight into the water, watching him flail before disappearing beneath the surface.

Hot with rage, I avoid eye contact with Dylan and the swimming class. As I storm out, I can hear Kadeem’s loud coughs accompanied by snickers of his choked laughter.