Chapter 137

Kadeem applauded tepidly for Rayburn while Riley and the bar patrons cheered like he was their Karaoke god. He settled back on his lone bar stool, beaming from the high.

They kept watch on Rayburn while they took in song after song, and the already crammed bar continued to fill up with people.

Riley leaned in close to Kadeem's ear near the end of a young woman's failed attempt at Taylor Swift.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish Mateo was here. I really think we could get him up there to sing."

"Oh, I know we could," Kadeem said, turning to clap. "Next time, maybe. I bet he'll break out his 'It's Britney, Bitch' shirt."

"How did we not know he was gay?"

Kadeem shrugged sheepishly while the DJ announced the next singer. He reached for his glass of water. "Don’t tell him I told you!"

Riley smiled as she took a drink of her vodka tonic. "Sorry," she said, shouting over the start of the next song, "Frankly, I think he was a shithead for keeping it from me!"

Kadeem shook his head and crossed his arms. He was surprised he hadn't heard from Mateo over that. Probably not a good indication.

Rayburn soon made his way back on stage, slumped on the stool, and began to intone a very solemn, if not slightly pitchy and breathy rendition of the Johnny Cash version of "Hurt."

"Oh my goddess," Riley breathed.

The performance wasn't uncomfortably forlorn, but it was heartfelt as hell. Even Kadeem felt reluctantly sad, listening in this crowded, dim yuppie bar of overpriced drinks, loosened ties and sport coats slung over chairs - metaphors for their white collar imprisonment shirked pathetically off only with the buzz of intoxication and impending liver damage. Rayburn’s top shirt buttons open, sleeves rolled up, and cheeks flushed from the alcohol, he pushed his glasses back against the bridge of his nose and trilled a song of loss and failure.

Riley peered over at Kadeem as the music faded. "Are you crying?"

He quickly wiped his eyes. "Onion," he barked harshly.

"Me, too," she said, laughing hysterically at him while she wiped her own glistening eyes.

"This is a sign," he said resolutely. "I'm cutting us off."

A group of women began to scream out a Lizzo song, drowning out their conversation. Riley nodded and held out her fingers to mime that she was going out to smoke, leaving Kadeem with the blaring music and his thoughts. He watched Rayburn, now back at the bar, still on his own.

Kadeem's phone buzzed in his pocket - a message from Ardal. Remorse hit him for not having told her where he was this evening.

His thumbs moved quickly as he typed, "Sorry, forgot to tell you I'm with the pack tonight."

"Figured," she wrote back, "Just checking."

He grimaced as one of the women singing mangled a particularly high note, then typed, "You ok?"

After what felt like forever came her response. "Fine. Guess I shouldn't wait up?"

"No," he wrote. "It'll be a while."

"Tomorrow's my first day at the new job."

Kadeem smiled. "Your life as one of Darla’s sexy maids begins."

She sent an eye roll emoji.

He was hesitating over whether or not to tell her he loved her when Riley rushed over, breathless.

"He's leaving!"

Kadeem bolted up. "You couldn't text me?"

"I forgot my phone," she said, snatching it off the table. "You were supposed to watch him!"

They scrambled out the door, Kadeem jumped into the driver's seat of his car and buckled hastily. Rayburn was backing out of his parking spot.

Kadeem started the engine, then froze. "I didn't get a chance to sober up much," he said.

"You had three, Kadeem, over a few hours. You're fine - I shouldn't have had that fifth one," she said, groaning. Then her voice went up a notch. "You're losing him."

Rayburn's car was turning out of the parking lot.

Kadeem grit his teeth as he backed rapidly out. "There goes my moral edge," he muttered, shifting into drive.

It was a fine line, but he'd worked hard for it.

He merged onto the highway. Riley had her head craned, scanning for Rayburn. "There! I think." She bit her nails nervously.

"YTB-9405," Kadeem recited aloud, remembering. Maybe he was more clear-headed than he'd thought.

"Um..." She squinted to read it. "Okay! Yes! That's him."

Not quite believing she was reading it correctly in her current state, he caught enough of it in his vision to confirm. He hit his blinker and checked his side-view before moving over into Rayburn's lane. His hands were gripping the steering wheel in a perfect ten and two.

"You alright," Riley asked.

Kadeem let out a breath. "A little tense." He stared hard at the road ahead.

"I blame him," Riley said, gesturing at Rayburn's vehicle. "He's probably more drunk, and look at him, taking off like that."

"Were we really there for hours," Kadeem asked. "I think time lost all its meaning in that hell hole."

"Oh, please, you had fun," Riley laughed, "You looked happier than I've seen you in ages, actually. Almost your old self, before Ardal came back in the picture."

He flicked his eyes over at her.

She put her hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry, don't listen to me right now."

"I know," Kadeem said. "You barely have a filter as it is." His thumb twitched against the steering wheel. "It's been a little rocky," he admitted.

"I've taken a literal bullet for you," Riley began, her voice becoming overly loud.

"Well, it grazed you," Kadeem smirked.

"Point is, there is nobody, NOBODY more loyal than me, so I'm just telling you the God's honest truth, I don't think she's good for you."

"Riles," Kadeem said calmly. "You are loyal. And you did take that bullet. But on this, you're wrong."

"Stop!"

Kadeem gritted his teeth and slammed his foot against the break, screeching to a halt just in time, barely missing a Toyota in front of them. For no apparent reason - other than it was I-35 - the traffic had suddenly backed up.

He broke into a string of profanity, heart pounding, before the cars started to inch up again, but just barely.

"Forget it," he fumed. "I'm pulling the plug on this." He gesticulated wildly at the cars around them. "Nobody around here can fucking drive! And I swore I'd never be so stupid again."

He shook his head in disbelief at his own recklessness. "But here I am. Liquored up at high-speed, chasing down a karaoke-singing wizard!"

"Okay, okay," Riley slurred, trying to adopt an even-tone, but still just sounding plainly drunk. "This is the way back anyways. Might as well follow along."

The traffic lurched forward. Kadeem hit the gas, his jaw still clenched, the migraine starting to form behind his eyes.

He watched the white lines on the road stream ahead through the headlights.

"When I woke up in the hospital after my drunk-driving accident, my mom was there," Kadeem said. "She helped me piece things together - who I was, what happened... Though, she lied to me about Ardal, which is a whole other conversation."

He shook his head and sighed. "I remember, though, just how fast that look of relief on her face turned to shame." He tightened his fingers around the wheel, knuckles bulging.

"We didn't talk for years - not since Layla and I came to blows and Mom took her side. But I'd finally measured up - became Alpha, and felt like I'd proved to her I was somebody. Then, I ruined it all."

"You added me to the crew," Riley giggled drunkenly, attempting to lighten the mood. "And you straightened out your act pretty well." She gave him an affectionate smile.

"Did I? Who knows." Kadeem squinted ahead at Rayburn's car, still leading the way home. "I spent my first year as Alpha stumbling home drunk every night, and it never occurred to me that brute force wasn't leadership. Then, how did I keep myself out of legal trouble with that accident? Pulling Alpha strings so I wouldn't face any trouble. And I'm pretty sure my mom still sees me as a fuck-up. The same as my dad did."

"Hey," Riley slurred solemnly. "You have a lot to be proud of. If your mom wants to root for that fascist instead of you, let her!"

She regarded Kadeem with bleary-eyed concern. "Sorry if that was too much."

Kadeem chuckled. "Calling Layla a 'fascist?' We both know I've said worse." He pulled his shoulders back, adjusting his sitting position.

Rayburn's car slid into the exiting lane.

"Should we...?"

Kadeem took a deep breath before reaching a decision. "Yeah. Let's go for it."