Chapter 135

Kadeem was closing up the gym for the night when a figure sauntered out of the shadows from the alley.

Riley. She was clad in a black leather jacket. Her dark curls bounced as she walked. Her expression: smug.

“Hey,” he said, nodding to his Beta.

"Admit that I'm Sherlock," she said immediately.

Kadeem yanked the keys from the lock and pocketed them. "What?"

"No way am I Watson,” she said, twirling a green lighter in her hand. “I need you to admit that I’m the superior brain of this operation."

Kadeem rolled his eyes. "By operation, you mean, me and you."

She put her hands on her hips as her lips curled into a smile.

Kadeem pretended to weigh his options before exhaling slowly. "I don't know if I'm that desperate," he said, finally.

"You're such an asshole."

He laughed and shrugged. "I may have heard that a time or two. But still, it's ‘Sir Asshole’ to you."

She groaned and pulled her curls back into a ponytail. "Here's the deal, Rayburn is definitely back, and now we know exactly where he is."

Kadeem straightened his posture. "Go on."

She raised her eyebrows, waiting.

He sighed heavily. "You're the brains," he relented.

Happy, Riley rubbed her hands together. "So, our doctor has been spotted… at the pediatric clinic on 9th!"

Kadeem frowned. "Riley," he said. "He worked there before."

"Well, he's baaaack," she said brightly - like a gameshow host, offering a prize: Here's your brand new, washer and dryer set!

"Thanks, Sherlock.”

She grinned in appreciation, intentionally missing the sarcasm. "Any time, Watson," she said. "Let's stake him out tomorrow - just me and you?"

He nodded. "Good call. The less chance there is of the pack finding about my deal with Rayburn's bitchy mother, the better."

Kadeem made it back to his cabin - no longer a quiet retreat, respite from his stress - now, a hive of noise and activity. He tried to remember he was grateful for the chance to live with his family as the kids zoomed all over the house, hollering, arguing, scattering toys and food, and just generally whizzing by like tiny crack addicts.

He sent Hannah home and found Ardal tucked away in his office. She was folded up in the window seat, watching moonlight seep through the darkness of night.

"Finally scraped yourself up off of the bathroom floor," he asked, stepping in the room.

Her voice was tepid. "Yeah," she said.

“Um, I see that the people I sent got Erbao’s dialysis equipment over here alright.”

She nodded silently, her eyes still fixed on the glass panes.

"How can you see anything out there," he asked, crouching beside her.

"The moon is really bright - full."

He sat down next to her and peered through the window. "Trees in the dark. Not much to look at," he said softly.

She let out a small sigh.

"What's eating you," Kadeem asked, putting his hand on her thigh.

She just shook her head.

Kadeem stifled a groan and rose to put the kids to bed before crawling into bed himself. He read for a while until he started getting drowsy, then debated whether to check on Ardal again or just go to sleep.

But, he missed her.

What a stupid thing, this supernatural link. Ardal was right.

"Coming to bed," he asked, sticking his head through the office door. "Or are you going to keep sitting there, staring out at nothing?"

"Kadeem," she began. "I have something to run past you."

He leaned against the doorframe. She was still in the window seat, but turned to face him, planting her bare feet on the wood floor.

"What?"

She bit her lip and then the questions tumbled out. "If I went out for a run tonight through the wooded area back here, would you mind? And if I didn't tell you I was going, would you just know I was gone?" She crossed one leg over the other, the one on top bobbing anxiously, "Or where I was?"

Lots of nervous energy coming at him. "Do I mind? No. Why would I mind," he asked. "Would I instinctively know you’d left?" He shrugged and pondered it. "Maybe I'd feel the emptiness. Yeah, probably. But I don't have a GPS on you."

He watched her through the stream of moonbeams.

"You know, as well as I do, that finding each other is one-part instinct, and the rest is honing and concentration. And if there wasn't a threat to really scream at me, then I -“ He cut himself off, switching gears. “Why are you asking this?”

She averted her eyes. "When you left this morning, you made a joke out of something."

"What," he asked warily. "What did I do wrong?"

She shook her head and frowned. "No, I'm just trying to figure something out. You said that you would have reminded me, 'I told you so,' except that you knew how miserable I was feeling."

"Yeah?"

He walked over and sat down next to her, fighting hard against the urge to immediately pull her to him.

"And then, you took something for your head. You said it hurt just looking at me."

"Your hangover was a little contagious," Kadeem admitted. "I felt kind of shitty all day, but definitely the strongest when I was right there with you."

"So, do you think you're sort of like, more in-tune than a normal bonded mate?"

Ardal pulled at her hair hanging loose down her shoulders.

"Maybe. Our first go-round when I marked you, before…” Kadeem cleared his throat, wanting to dodge the uncomfortable fact of how it had all gone to hell. “It felt more like an extra facet I could tap into - not that your emotional state didn't affect me. It did, especially if you were really keyed up. But, it does seem more... porous, this time around."

He yearned to touch her, to take her fidgety hands in his. He crossed his arms instead. "And you?"

"I think it's the same for me as it was before I died."

She gave a shrug, as though the trauma of death and a supernatural revival into a new life was no big deal. But he felt the tension inside of her and neither one of them had ever addressed this so frankly.

He shifted uneasily. It was far less painful to pretend that the stakes hadn't been dire, with death as the consequence. It was less gut-wrenching to ignore profound, far-reaching impacts now - to act as though, in their second chance, nothing had truly changed after he unbearably threw her out of their home.

“But who knows," Ardal said, her voice strained, "I’m so mixed up right now, I couldn’t tell you which way is up.”

"Why are you confused?" He could no longer stop himself. He wrapped an arm around her.

Rather than soothe her, a plethora of guilt plummeted onto Ardal. It was mirrored so heavily in Kadeem, he felt pounds of weight piled onto his chest like lead. He tightened his grip around her.

"Is this mate bond thing actually real," she asked hesitantly. "Werewolf lore is not the most, you know, scientifically tested."

"I don't get what you're saying. You mean-"

"I mean, does it just force people to feel in love?" Her eyes fell to the floor and her cheeks blushed, worried, obviously, about his reaction.

He retracted his arm from around her. "It's not a love spell," he said, trying to keep the harshness from his tone. "It's a psychic link. And I think it makes sense that so much intimacy would lead to even more desire and love."

His hand inched back over her shoulder in an attempt to turn her to him. "We couldn't have linked if we weren't already soulmates."

"Yeah… I know." Her voice was dull, expression flat.

He scowled. "We were already in love, Ardal - connected." He said it to himself as much as to her - to remind them both of the sheer certainty of that truth.

Her doubt was sickening all the same.

"And how could it manufacture fake feelings," he continued. "It's a link between our wolves - the deepest, most primal parts of ourselves."

She shoved herself back into a ball, wrapping her arms tight around her legs as she brought them to her chest. She laid her head against her knees. He felt her angst, with a longing stirring in her, too, but for what, he didn't know.

A child's footsteps and crying broke the quiet between them. Kadeem quickly rose from the window seat to find his daughter out in the hall, her stuffed animal tucked under her arm.

"Lottie," he said, scooping her up, "What's wrong?"

"I had a bad dream," she said tearfully. "Where's Mommy?"

"Right here," he said, taking her into the office.

Ardal stood stiffly. Before she walked forward she hesitated, an antsy twitch catching her, like something compelled her away.

Kadeem's brow furrowed. Whatever he'd just picked up on, he didn't like it.

Ardal glanced at him, clearly sensing his ripple of suspicion. She busied herself with Lottie, tenderly wiping her eyes.

Lot’s lip was trembling. "You were gone and I couldn't find you."

"We were just talking in here," Ardal said. "I'm sorry."

Lottie shook her head. "No, in the dream. I looked everywhere!"

Ardal smoothed Lottie's hair. "Well, I'm here now,” she said soothingly. “And I wouldn't leave you."

Would she?

The question suddenly nagged at him. He looked at Lot’s small, tearstained face and at the gentle expression of concern over Ardal’s.

‘Not possible,’ he thought.

"Can I sleep in your bed," Lottie whimpered.

Ardal peered up at Kadeem who nodded.

"Just this once," she said, offering the girl a half-smile. "You'll be the monkey in the middle."

Lottie giggled and Kadeem carried her into his room before tucking her into bed.

Ardal cradled her sweetly, but it was a long time before Kadeem could fall asleep, feeling the thud of Ardal's restless heart beside him.