Chapter 120

Kadeem breaks into a surprised laugh. “Are you, now,” he asks.

And he is a wet dream staring at me beneath a fringe of long, sooty ashes. His chiseled arms are crossed over his toned chest, midnight hair falling softly against his brow.

I answer by pulling my shirt off and throwing it at him. He catches it with a wry smile that shows off his dimples and shakes his head in quiet amusement.

I’m on top of him before he knows what’s happening next, pushing him down onto the bed as I straddle him. His arms wrap around me tightly and his lips press against the nape of my neck, sending tingles down my spine.

I feel his erection and I’m unable to suppress the urge to grind against it.

“Mom?”

Damn it.

Kadeem and I freeze.

Erbao’s voice is coming from the other side of the door.

“Where’s Kadeem?”

I inhale sharply. “He’ll be back in a second,” I call. “Just go outside and wait for him.”

“Okay.” Erbao sighs. I hear his feet as he trudges off.

None of my desire’s been dampened. If anything, I’m more desperate, but Kadeem grips my hips - forcing me to stay still - and it’s agony.

“Hang on,” Kadeem says breathlessly, “I’m not sure we’re going to get far with this…”

But I’m unhooking my bra and then his hands are squeezing my breasts while I kiss his neck and jawline.

Erbao’s voice comes again from down the hallway. “It’s already been one hundred and three seconds!”

“Go outside,” I choke out.

And I don’t know how I manage to yell anything at all, because Kadeem is grabbing my ass and his lips are traveling from my neck to my breasts, throwing gasoline on the blaze inside of me.

I rake my fingers through his dark hair. “It’s been four months since we had sex,” I pant. “And like seven years before that.”

I’m more and more breathless the further down he goes, his lips are warm against my skin. My eyes close.

He locks his fingers in my hair and then his mouth is on my nipple. I arch back, trying to suppress a moan, my toes curling in the pleasure of it. I want to grind against him harder, but when I lean in, I hit up against his belt buckle and have to readjust.

He swallows, looking a little frustrated about the pause, and quickly unbuckles his belt to get it out of the way.

“We’ve got some serious catching up to do,” he says.

“And life is short,” I whisper, my lips hovering just above his. “You never know-“ I stop, suddenly finding myself gulping down tears.

Memories of the recent brushes with death are flashing like lightning in my mind, threatening to turn the rapturous pleasure of the moment into a counseling session.

Kadeem stops abruptly and gazes at me pensively with furrowed brows.

“It’s alright,” I say hastily, wiping my eyes before the tears can reach my lips and chin.

He sits up and pulls me close until our chests press together, his strong arms winding around my back while he tenderly plants a kiss on my forehead.

When he sees me calming, a crooked grin comes over his face. “If you’d just quit all your cigarettes and whiskey,” he quips in a sultry whisper, as his lips find my mouth, “You’d easily squeeze in another 20 years.”

“You’re an idiot,” I say, but I can’t help but laugh.

“The idiot you’d like to bang.”

“I-I-L-F?”

In one swoop, he flips me over onto the bed. The weight of him grounds me. My heart races in my chest. I paw off his shirt and he kisses me.

Quickly, it becomes frantic and intense. I suck and bite his bottom lip and tongue. My hands travel to his waistband, unbuttoning his jeans. Kadeem moans when my hand grips his shaft and he reaches for the buttons of my jeans when the sound of little footsteps become audible, running down the hall.

Kadeem stills immediately. He inhales and yanks himself up, quickly fishing for his shirt and tossing me mine. I want to protest, but it’s lucky we let his cooler head prevail.

“Mommy?” Ten little fingers, chipped with pink paint Julia must have applied, are shoved underneath the door.

Shit.

I throw my shirt back over my head.

“What are you doing?”

“Lottie,” I breathe, now struggling with my bra from underneath my shirt. “Go outside and play. Please?”

“Is Kadeem in there?”

Kadeem, who’d been helping me refasten my bra quickly drops his hands.

I hear a rustling sound as Lottie lowers her head to the floor - and it’s as good as an ice bucket.

I flush bright hot, but thankfully, we’re both fully dressed.

Kadeem clears his throat. “I’m here, Charlotte.”

There’s another rustling sound, as she adjusts her position, her brown hair spilling out underneath the door, her little face smashed up against the gap under it. “Now, I see you,” she giggles. “What are you doing?”

I bite my lip and try not to lose my temper, but Kadeem slides his hand onto my shoulder. “Uh, we’re talking right now,” he says. “I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

“Okay,” she says, cheerily, and we hear her hop up and skip away - before more footsteps break into the house, immediately paired with gleeful voices, and a giddy shriek.

Kadeem gathers my hair, twisting in his hand. “Ardal, my Irish lass, sorry to break it to you, but this afternoon delight ain’t happening.”

“Are you kissing?” The word comes out in Silas’ high-pitched giggle.

Kadeem chuckles while I let out an exasperated sigh. “Go, away,” I say, gritting my teeth, “And tell your brothers and sister they’d better cut it out, too.”

I look at Kadeem. “I’m so frustrated now, I can’t even think. This is why I never bothered to date anyone. It’s impossible!”

“You just have to wait till they’re unconscious next time,” Kadeem says. “You got a little ahead of yourself. I don’t blame you, though.” He gives me his trademark smirk.

I lean my head against his, mourning what we could have had. He places one finger under my chin and tilts it up slightly, our lips almost meeting when a loud cry comes from under the door and a child’s face pressed underneath it. “They are kissing,” Milo yells, bursting into snickers.

I bolt up. “Okay,” I yell. He giggles like mad, running away as fast as his pudgy feet can take him while I rip open the door - to find the whole little crew laughing and “ewing” out in the hall and into the living room. Julia, chief among them, is so red-faced, she looks like a tomato with eyes.

“You all listen so well,” I bellow, my hands on my hips.

Kadeem steps out behind me and shakes his head at the sight of Julia. “Well played,” he says to her.

“And payback’s a bitch,” I spout off.

“Hey,” she says, her brow furrowing. “You left me alone with your gang of five. They’re not so easy to control.”

“Oh, please, you enjoyed them interrupting and mortifying me!”

“Ardal,” she says, her eyes narrowing. ”Lighten up, please.”

Lottie tugs at Kadeem before I can find an insult to hurl at Julia.

“Are you mommy’s boyfriend?”

Kadeem looks at me and wrinkles his brow in a question mark before he responds. “I think so,” he says, slowly. He bends down to face her. “Is that okay with you?”

She smiles and nods before throwing her arms around his neck. Then she drops her arms and jumps excitedly.

“When Dr. Jack comes back, we’ll have TWO daddies,” she squeals.

Kadeem opens his mouth, but I cut him off.

I stamp my foot. “Okay, no.”

I shouldn’t say any of it, but I’m fuming, and it all shoots out of my mouth with an out of control rush of impulsivity.