Chapter 113

Kadeem

Kadeem blinked. "How did I miss that?"

Mateo rolled his eyes and slumped back down onto the couch.

Kadeem ran his hand through his hair, speechless, while Mateo crossed his arms and watched him with a raised brow.

"Well," Kadeem said, finally, his expression deadpan. "I can't blame you. I have that effect on people."

Mateo snorted in disbelief while Kadeem sank down onto the couch next to him.

"You're more predictable than a cheap novel," Mateo muttered, shaking his head.

Kadeem glanced over at him. "I'm glad you told me," he said. "You didn't have to keep this from me, you know?"

Mateo leaned his head back against the sofa. "What, and miss out on seeing you strut around half-naked while I’m here?”

Kadeem's brow wrinkled. "I don't think I would have done anything differently," he said gently. He met Mateo's eyes before breaking into a grin. "If anything, I might have flaunted it a little more," he added, shrugging.

Mateo snickered, then cleared his throat. "Well, we'll see for sure how my confession affects things." He lowered his gaze, staring at his feet.

Kadeem clapped him on the back. "Don’t sweat it. If anything, I'll enjoy your company a lot more without your fake drooling over women."

Mateo's cheeks flushed. "Yeah," he grumbled.

"You want a drink," Kadeem asked, standing.

"Please," Mateo said, voice slightly desperate, as he rose after him.

Kadeem headed into the kitchen for the six-pack of Shiner Bock in the fridge. He dug in a drawer for the opener and brought both to the kitchen bar where Mateo had parked himself into one of the high-backed chairs.

Kadeem opened their bottles and they took deep swigs of their beers. The kitchen was silent except for the whirring of the dryer coming from the laundry room down the hall.

Kadeem drummed his fingers on the counter. "I hope you don't regret telling me," he said, a question mark evident in his tone. Would this change things?

"No." Mateo shook his head, his eyes flickering over to Kadeem. "It's sinking in you’re not going to reject me offhand."

Kadeem leaned against the kitchen bar and winked. "I mean, maybe for a million other things, though. Jury’s out on those."

Mateo chuckled. "Hey, if I can put up with you and all of your shit..."

Kadeem raised his eyebrows before taking another swig. He swallowed before musing, "I'd like to think I'm a pure, radiant joy to have around."

"That’s part of your problem."

Kadeem raised his hands in surrender.

Mateo's expression grew serious again. "I'm not sure I'm ready for other people to know," he said, anxiety evident in his tone.

Kadeem nodded. "I hope you change your mind, but I won't tell anyone." He sat his beer down. "If you were a little more open, though, that would help with dating, don't you think?" He smiled over at Mateo. "When you're ready to move on from me, of course."

Mateo let out a sigh. "I should have known you would tease me endlessly about this."

Kadeem frowned and asked carefully, "Honestly, am I being insensitive? How serious is this crush of yours?"

"I did say 'in love,' didn't I?" Mateo held out his Shiner in a mock toast.

Kadeem raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, but you exaggerate pretty often so…"

Mateo put his bottle down and propped his chin on the heel of his hand, his arm resting against the countertop. "We're friends and I have the hots for you. I think that just naturally lends itself to big feelings."

"Alright, yeah," Kadeem conceded, with a concerned frown. "I will shut up with the jokes, then."

Mateo scrunched his eyes and guzzled down the remainder of his beer before slamming the bottle down on the counter. "You absolute jerk,” he said. "That only makes me like you more. Be an asshole to me."

Kadeem shot him a crooked grin. “Clearly, I don’t know what I’m doing here,” he said, swiping at his bangs a little nervously.

Mateo waved his hand dismissively. "Just be you," he said. "Just be the swaggery asshole you are." He reached out for another beer. "And I'm going to need another two or three of these."

“You get a second,” Kadeem said, handing over a bottle, “But I veto the third. You’re a lightweight.” And if anyone knew the price of getting drunk to wallow in sadness, it was Kadeem - even if he couldn’t so easily cut himself off.

“I’ll be the decider of that,” Mateo said in his best ‘Dubya’ impression, as he cracked open the Shiner. He held out his two fingers, scrunched together in front of his eyes, his voice ever wistful. "You sure you're not even a little bit gay?"

Kadeem chuckled softly. "I’m sorry, Mo,” he said. He paused for a moment, feeling the weight of his friend’s sad longing. His voice came out quiet, but even. “I love Ardal.”

"Of course you do," Mateo sighed. "And I'm rooting for you." He took a chug of his beer.

"While secretly not," Kadeem said.

Mateo clutched his bottle. "I was just holding out a small shred of hope. Actually, here's the fantasy," he said, grinning wryly as he traced the lip of the bottle.

Kadeem rolled his eyes and walked back to the fridge with what was left of the six-pack.

Mateo continued, "You turn to me one night and say, 'Mat, I realized why it's not working with her. She’s not you.' And then we make out and have hot sex."

Kadeem closed the fridge door. "And in the fantasy, I'm the best lover you've ever had, am I not?"

Mateo laughed. "Actually, you're all nervous and vulnerable, and I have to show you the ropes. I'm the best lover you've ever had."

"Yeah right," Kadeem scoffed, but his humor faded when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

He pulled out his phone and swiped it open. His blood ran cold as he caught sight of Ardal’s text.

"I have to go," he said, head swimming and his chest tight.

Mateo's eyes narrowed. "What's wrong?"

"One of the kids,” Kadeem managed. His heart thumped painfully in his chest. “Fuck. I…" His gaze darted around the room, processing what he should do next.

“You want me to drive you,” Mateo asked, standing up.

“No, I’m good,” Kadeem said, snapping into action. He headed to the door to snatch up the keys. “You’ve had more than me anyway.”

"Let me know if you need me to bring you some of your things, or - whatever you might need." His forehead was creased, obviously trying to deduce where Kadeem was going, and what was going on.

“Okay,” Kadeem said, barely listening, as he pulled open the front door.

He climbed into his car and called Ardal as he roared up the engine. "Do you need me to stay with the rest of the kids," he asked as soon as she picked up.

"No," she said. Her voice was eerily stoic. "A neighbor is sitting with them until Hannah can get there."

Kadeem shifted the car into reverse to back out of the drive. "I'm on my way to the hospital then," he said, glancing in the rear view mirror.

Then hesitated. Was he swooping in too soon? Making assumptions he had a right to be there, just because they had cleared the air?

"Is that okay," he added.

"Yes," she said. Her voice was still utterly emotionless, sending shivers down his spine.

A million questions raced through his mind. Ardal had given few clues about what was going on - leaving his anxiety levels at an all-time high. He stepped hard on the gas and rushed to the hospital.